Matrix Revolutions is better than Matrix Reloaded in much the same way Star Wars Episode Two was to Star Wars Episode One, which is to say that it’s better than walking in on one of your parents dressing against gender.
So with the evil machines digging their way into Zion, our heroes better find a way to save the “world”. After Trinity and Morpheus save Neo from captivity, he sets about reaching the city of the machines to negotiate with whatever runs the whole thing. As it turns out, Agent Smith has become more of a problem than anticipated and maybe Neo can use this to his advantage. Or whatever.
The tagline for this film was “Everything that has a beginning has an end.” It makes me wonder if everything that has a beginning really needs to have two blankety-blank sequels. In my review for Matrix Reloaded I believe I said something along the lines of “This movie sucks.” So in the interest of not being repetitive, let me just say this movie… blows?
Two of Reloaded’s most glaring mistakes are raised to new heights of absurdity in this disaster of a conclusion. First, the completely sexless and passionless romance between Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss refuses to relent. We are subjected to lines so saccharine and irrelevant to the plot in the least convenient of circumstances. And while trying to maneuver a spaceship through highly dangerous elements, we find them – holding hands? Wouldn’t now be a good time to keep both hands on the STEERING WHEEL?
Secondly, as in the last film, the inhabitants of Zion (oh, how original) were grossly outnumbered as they faced the threat of indestructible machines. But now the odds are a little more embarrassing. The climax (which takes up most of the film’s running time it would seem) features a few hundred hopefuls equipped with machine guns and that robot thingy Ripley uses at the end of Aliens versus what must be several billion highly armed machine/creatures that recall Starship Troopers. The humans don’t stand a chance and they shouldn’t either.
Revolutions thankfully (and thanklessly) returns the series to a more philosophical theme. But the script seems more concerned with philosophical sound-bytes than true introspection. For example, a sequence early in the film involves a “program” in human form explaining to Neo that his “karma” is what he is meant to do. Not to split hairs, but that’s actually your “dogma”. Karma is the result generated by how closely one follows their dogma. Anyway, it’s more of a therapy session than a storytelling device. Later we are subjected to an inexplicably gayer Morpheus impassioned only by his love for Keanu and a final act devoted obsessively to Neo suffering for our salvation. Laying it on a little thick I think.
The computer effects are slightly more restrained in this installment, making them a little more impressive. If we are to judge the film as an exhibition of CGI artistry, then I suppose it holds up pretty well.
Hugo Weaving’s welcome return as Agent Smith alleviates some of the film’s boredom and his experimentation with over-acting still makes for solid entertainment. Nobody else in the film is particularly memorable, but then again, nothing that happens in the film is particularly memorable either. We had something good going with The Matrix, but it’s been so thoughtlessly repackaged for mass consumption over the past two films, it’s a relief the journey is finally over. The original ended with a sense of inspiration and hope for the future. The sequels left us with the film industry equivalent of an itchy rash.
Matrix Revolutions currently holds the title for biggest worldwide opening in history. Drink that in. C-
-I will not pull over and ask for directions. I know where we are. Stop asking.
-Don't you get snippy with me.
-I wasn't. I was just saying...