Moderna, Italy: The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire Pit Crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the Australian Government's "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed aboriginal youths. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how aboriginal youths were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high-tech gear. This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team. However Ferrari got more than they bargained for as, during the aboriginal crew's first practice session, not only were the new pit crew able to changethe tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team for four dozen cans of VB, a gram of Coke and a quick glimpse at Coulthard's bird in the shower!