Started October 23rd, 2002

This section of my site is a personal diary of myself. It is a diary of all my exploits into the esoteric world, and a compilation of all my thoughts about life as i go through it. It is not intended as a general diary, so dont expect entries like "i went to the best party this weekend". I have my own personal diary for that.

As stated above this diary was started on the 23rd of October 2002. I chose this date as it is symbolic to me because it is the two year anniversary of when my doggie of 14 years, Scottie Stojic died. That fourteen years taught me more an enourmous amount on how to love others, and i continue to live those lessons to this day.

October 23rd, 2002 - A Day of Remembrance

As you already know, today my former doggie died. It's amazing how thinking back over something can recreate feelings so easily. Today really made me think about the role people play in your life. I mean you always here about New Age people going on about how the people in your life incarnate here in this dimension to play a role on your life and to help you "learn the lesson you came here for". Well if thats true it makes me wonder what role many of the people in my life play.

I mean, take for instance Scottie Stojic. Even though he was "just a dog" he really taught me a lesson on love. He really made me realise the power of loving people, and how extremely good it can make you feel about yourself. Of course this is easier said than done. I mean a large part of the reason i loved Scottie so much was because he was just sooo cute and fluffy! But most of the people you encounter in life are just boring, and know were near as huggable as a small and fluffy dog! So it makes it kinda hard to have "unconditional love" for all people as practically every religious belief system says i should.

Then there's my mother. With all due respect my mother annoys me a lot, i mean i love her and all that, but we do not get along well at all. What is the spiritual logic behind this. I mean was i an asshole of a mother in a past life and now the universe is getting me back? Or maybe the universe is trying to teach me a lesson in "compassion" and how to control rage. Its too hard to tell. So what exactly does one do when they are stuck in a situation were generally speaking everything they do annoys the other person. Well i'm not sure if i can answer that yet. I mean if im supposed to learn a lesson, ok Mr Universe i get the point now. You can chill out a bit!

As for my father. Well even though he has had a very small role in my life i have still learnt a bit from him. I have learnt how having ot much money can really screw you life up, although i dont thin thats aspiritual lesson. My father has also been a firm example of the "you create your own reality philosophy". He's cheated on several women, and neglected his family. And then when his family turns and treats him like crap back he wonders why. mmmmmm....people! Although i thin he is learning his lesson now.

Well they are the most important people in my life, of course i have others. But its getting late.