Buddhism Celebrities love to flock to three Religions…Kabala, Scientology, and BUDDHISM. Buddhism has hundreds of forms which go all the way back to a man named Siddhartha Guautama, whom you many know as…The Buddha. All the facts about this man weren’t written until four hundred years after his death! But, here is what the world knows, or is told anyhow… Born around 563 BC. He was extremely sheltered in life, more so than a home schooled kid nowadays! (Even though I know a few home school morons who ride their bikes outside and ride skateboards all day and can’t even read the brand of equipment they ride…but cut em’ a break, they are only 11!) When the Buddha took off and saw the outside world, he concluded that life pretty much sucked after meeting people with bad lives and diseases. So, Mr. Buddha traveled in search for the Truth. (Good thing he didn’t go around any Democratic Politicians in search for the truth, or he’d still be searching till the end of time!) So, he met a couple men who were philosophers and together the three of them went on the India Northeast Before Christ Enlightened One Diet, which consisted of as a main course of Grass, followed by a portion of Seed and a single grain of rice, and for dessert…DUNG! And from this behavior, who would have thought that his next idea was to quit bathing…entirely! He soon decided to eat and moved on. He sat under a tree on a mat and meditated with his legs crossed in the ‘Lotus’ position. He by now was 35 years old and BAM, he saw that life was full of deaths and rebirths on a never-ending cycle. Soon, he reached complete enlightenment! (One would have thought eating Dung would have brought this out, or at least a revelation or two, like not eating DUNG!) He remained under that tree for seven weeks. Don’t worry, there was plenty of grass to eat if he got hungry. He started to travel and give sermons. He was teaching how to escape reincarnation and reach Nirvana. Some of his teachings included life being one long experience of suffering and happiness is all but an illusion. So when you meet that special someone, they really aren’t there! Life is mainly about suffering. Nothing lasts forever. You are only an illusion made up of energy and your thoughts and fears. You must also to be a follower of the Buddha push aside all lusts and wants. After continuous rejection of the good things in life, you reach Nirvana! (Did I forget to tell you one must be a Buddhist Monk to reach that?) Being a Buddhist is kind of like being Spock on Star Trek. You have no emotion to family, friends, enemies, or that darn computer that screws up fifty zillion times for no apparent reason! Buddhism teaches kindness and morality. You must refrain from gossip and lying and of course the major sins like murder and rape! Cussing is a no-no! But you can drink, just as long as it’s not alcohol. Well, Cokes were not around back then so he’d probably tell you today to just say no to that…So, you probably are only allowed water and orange juice, but only if you don’t like it! So, be good in this life, and in your next life if you are good, you can be reborn as someone even better who may become a Monk. Women can’t ever reach Nirvana until they are reborn as a man who becomes a Monk. So, the Buddha died and nobody bothered to write down anything he preached, (they didn’t have a Office Depot, you know) and passed down this story orally and soon enough arguments arose about the Buddha’s teachings and wham and bam, Buddhism split into many sects with differing teachings. One branch is called Tantraism. You will find a lot of Liberals involved with this sect since they believe in the energy of Sex, with anyone! ‘Just do it if it feels good and nobody gets hurt’ is the Tantraism motto. Well, what we know of the Buddha may be true, may be partially true, may be hogwash, but the next time you are walking in the park and you see a man on all fours eating grass, he may not be crazy, he may be ‘THE BUDDHA’!