I started writting this page because my away messeges turned into big long stories about why everything sucked at the time. Not everything always sucks, but lately alot of my friends have been turning out to be...not friends. I don't really ever know how to say things so I end up writting alot of pointless stuff that won't make sense to anyone but me. This is some of that stuff...if you don't want to get confused then don't read the rest of this...but if you don't care...don't ask me what I ment...I have spent so much of my time...so much paper and broken nails...trying to put things in perspective lately. My emotions have been up and down to the point where I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I want to know why I have to be cursed with getting so involved like this...especially when I shouldn't be. I mean...I always fuck shit up...it sucks so bad. I hate this. I hate having to ignore things...I hate having to pretend...I hate everything recently...it should all be so easy but no. I have to go and make things hard for myself. I have to write everything down and put it to music like an idiot. I have to go and put it out there for the world to hear...What the hell is my problem? GAAAH!!!I just don't feel like dealing with people. I brought all of this on myself.I always feel like if I wrong one person I'm wronging everyone. Again...GAAAH.I've decided everything will be better off left unsaid for the time being.I don't need more friendships to be ruined for the sake of being honest. I don't think it should be this hard, though...I should be able to hide things without having to feel this bad...