Apology for Bad Dreams By Tsuki "- The ocean Darkens, the high clouds brighten, the hills darken together. Unbridled and unbelievable beauty Covers the evening worldó not covers, grows apparent out of it, As Venus down there grows out From the lit sky. What says the prophet? 'I create good; And I create evil: I am the Lord' " - Robinson Jeffers, "Apology for Bad Dreams" Connor woke up screaming; kept on screaming for a moment until he realized where he was. Murphy was already holding him, whispering soft words of nothing in his ear. Connor reaches blindly behind him searching for... searching... Murphy knows and passes Connor his rosary. He lets Connor go through one rotation before he speaks. By then, Connor is ready to listen again. "They're where they're supposed to be, Con. If some of them were repentant enough to slip into St. Peter's gates, then they're Blessed with the Holy Father. If not, then we didn't do anythin' wrong." "Fuck, Murph. I know that. I know. It's just..." Connor gestured blindly in the dark, searching for a word to describe that empty, hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. "It's the blood." Murphy offered. Connor jolted in surprise. "Aye..." he whispered, hoping that Murphy couldn't tell- since it was dark, since it was dark and night- how dreadfully he was lying. Murphy leaned over. He kissed his brother on the cheek, then again slightly below his ear. "This cup is the new covenant- My blood, which is shed for you..." Murphy whispered. His voice was barely louder than a breath. "Do this in memory of me," Connor finished. He forced a smile and lay back down again. Truly, he wished it was the blood that bothered him, wished Murphy's soft voice whispering the Lord's words helped, but echoing over and over in his head, Connor heard the rough, husky voice of their old Sunday school nun, reading the book of Genesis. "I will never again curse the ground for man's sake, although the imagination of man's heart be evil from his youth; nor will I again destroy living things as I have done. While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, Cold and heat, Winter and summer, And day and night Shall not cease." Connor bit back a whimper as he rolled on his side- his back to Murphy, already dozing peacefully- and tried to go back to sleep. END