It hurts!

You’re lying next to me, sleeping. So peaceful. Like an angel. By day you’re so unapproachable. I hardly dare to look at you. Nevertheless you’re attracting my looks. I’ve got no other choice. Even if you’re shouting at me I’m happy. I’m happy that you’re paying attention to me. I wish you would feel the same feelings as I. These feelings… I won’t be able to put them into words. I’m not allowed to put them into words.

Even if it doesn’t seem so, it’s hard for me to maintain this happy face. To smile every day, even if I want to cry. But they’re expecting me to do it. They’re expecting me to be careless. That’s me! I love to sit next to you while you’re sleeping. What should I do? Should I go on till the end? Should I play this careless boy forever? Or should I be cowardly? Simply run away?

I don’t know!

Answer me!

If I only had the courage to show you my true feelings… But I’m afraid you would reject me, hate me. Why is it so hard to say these words?

You’re waking up, looking at me sleepily- I’m smiling at you. I wish to touch you. You’re hair, you’re skin. Instead I’m standing up, telling you to see you later and then I’m leaving the room. I don’t want you to see the tear which runs over my cheek and drops on the floor…