The WAAA-ambulance.

The WAAA-ambulance is a social-conditioning mechanism of last resort for the benefit of those folks accursed with various manifestations of the semi-terminal Whiner (that's a Whiner who you haven't killed yet, but you don't know why you haven't).

Extensive psychological research has determined that, no matter what his/her apparent chronological age, the semi-terminal Whiner has become emotionally arrested at a psychological age of approximately Three (i.e., the "Terrible Threes") in the process roughly diagrammed as follows:

Pitching a Fit gets me Attention.
Attention is pleasing.
Therefore: Pitching a Fit is pleasing.
Besides; The World obviously DOES revolve around ME!
Eventually, all the Whiner's enemies and most of the Whiner's friends tire of the Whiner's infantile behavior and drift (or run) away.
Occasionally, if the Whiner is very lucky, the Whiner's last departing friend or best-enemy will put the Whiner on the WAAA-mbulance Call List.

The WAAA-ambulance is always staffed by four H-U-G-E, indomitable, Nannies (complete with immaculate starched pinafores, frilly caps, blazing smiles, and Perfect Judgement).

Once the latest Whiner is on the WAAA-ambulance Call List, the Nannies bide their time until the absolutely most-emotionally-devastating moment in the remainder of the Whiner's life.
(The Nannies always KNOW these things!)
Then The WAAA-ambulance appears, sirens wailing and lights flashing, and the Nannies proceed to change the Whiner's habitual outlook on life.

Whereever the Whiner may be found when his/her penultimate Fit strikes, the Nannies seize him/her, throw him/her to the ground, and whip off all his/her outer clothing, invariably revealing one (sometimes, a dozen), colossal, full diaper.
Then the Nannies throw the Whiner upon their changing table; tear off the gross, disgusting, smelly, diaper; administer as many enemas as may be necessary; and address his/her 'private' parts with various lotions, creams, emoluents, scrub-brushes (sometimes, hammers-and-chisels), ALL scented just for babies.

Then, the Nannies dry him/her front and rear; wipe away the tears; and darned-near-asphyxiate the Whiner with Baby Powder.
Next, they fit him/her with a nice, new, warm, fuzzy, fluffy, clean, diaper of the appropriate size.
Finally, the Nannies carefully brush the Whiner's hair; repair his/her make-up as necessary; shove a brand-new pacifier, liberally coated with Super-Glue, between his/her pouty lips; kiss his/her forehead; and vanish (not a smile; not a wave; not a backward glance; just gone ... Poof!).

The recipient of The WAAA-ambulance's services is left speechless, mostly naked, and (hopefully) changed forever.

Follow-on research shows the incidence of recidivism for former-Whiners after one such Call is less than one percentage point (and that unresponsive one percent somehow gets 'lost' during the second WAAA-mbulance Call).

The WAAA-ambulance is a (unfortunately fictional) grant-funded, community-based service of AW_SHUDDUP_AWREDDY_U_BIG_BABY.ARG.

To contact the WAAA-ambulance to visit someone you KNOW needs its services, call 1-800-BOO-HOOO, Ext. WAAA.