Disclaimer: Without prejudice, the characters used in this fic (with the exception of Robert Smith) are the property of Janet Evanovich and are used here without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: Suitable for all ages
Character: Stephanie
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A Day At The Museum
By TT

It’s not my fault!

That’s what I wanted to scream as I pulled the material off my head. Looking at it, I could tell it was a flag of some sort.

My now-clear view was not a happy thing and I contemplated returning the flag to its previous position. If I couldn’t see them they weren’t there, right? And that meant that this never happened. Please let this have never happened.

A muffled grunt from beneath me drew my attention to the man currently serving as my cushion.

Reaching into my back pocket, I retrieved my handcuffs and secured my FTA. “Robert Smith, you are in violation of your bond agreement. I’m here to bring you downtown to reschedule your court appearance.

As I forced myself to stand and then tried to assist my FTA, I heard the rush of footsteps and a very familiar voice cry, “Why me?”

I couldn’t help it. I cringed and turned. Before I could say anything. The museum’s security force appeared, hands on their guns. Someone in a suit followed along, looking upset. I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Holding my hand up in the futile hope of stopping my mother’s tirade, security from shooting and the museum official from having a stroke, I simply stated, “This is Robert Smith. He skipped his court date and I have to bring him in for rescheduling. I have my authorization papers in my purse.” They didn’t seem impressed.

My mother crossed herself as my nieces appeared by her side. Val and Albert had needed to take Lisa to the doctor’s office today and my mother had asked for my help in watching the girls. We’d decided to visit the New Jersey State Museum. Things were going well when I spotted Smith. I only had today to bring him in or Vinnie would lose his bond. I figured it was a sign from above that he was here as well. Needless to say, once he spotted me, he was less than thrilled.

So, the chase ensued. I hadn’t really been paying attention to where we were going; I just needed to get him. He was worth good money to me.

I finally tackled him to the ground.

I have no idea what happened next, no idea how it could have happened, but somehow, we managed to pull down a good portion of the Civil War flag collection. Even I knew that wasn’t a good thing. That would explain the steam coming out of the official’s ears.

Deciding retreat was the better part of valor, I quickly nodded at the group and dragged my skip out to the nearest exit.

Really, it was a good thing I got him out of the building as quickly as possible. There were a lot of kids in there and I’m pretty sure their parents objected to the king of language he was using.

With some effort, I quickly shoved Smith into the back of my car and headed toward the station, mentally preparing myself for the comments I knew would be coming. There was no way this latest mishap wouldn’t be all over Trenton and the Burg. After all, it’s not everyday the Bombshell Bounty Hunter takes out a museum exhibit.

Arriving at the back of the station, I continued to ignore Smith’s protests as I pulled him out of the back and ushered him inside.

“I don’t think anyone had money on a museum, Steph,” Eddie greeted me, with a smirk.

I wanted to get angry with him, but I couldn’t. Not only did I know he was just teasing, but also I knew he was checking me over for injuries. Eddie’s always been a good friend. I was about to answer him, when several of the other guys greeted me as we made our way further into the station.

As I was waiting for my receipt, I listened to the jokes and found out what the real damage was. It was times like this that I was thankful for my friends on the force. They had managed to calm down the museum official enough that he no longer wanted to press charges against me or make me pay for the restoration and cleaning of the flags. Good thing too.

“I can’t believe no one had museum exhibit,” Big Dog mused, shaking his head.

It was then a great idea struck me. It had always bothered me a little that the boys bet on my disasters, but after a heart-to-heart about it one day with Eddie, I made my peace with it. Besides, it’s not like I’m the only one for whom they have betting pools. ”Hey, since no one had museum exhibit, do I get the pot?”

The guys went silent for a moment, startled and obviously thinking about my comment.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Steph,” Carl said. “It might give you ideas about other things to destroy,” he finished with a twinkle in his eyes, smiling.

I couldn’t help but smile a bit, as I whapped him on the back of the head. “As if I need to think about it,” I groused, causing the men to chuckle.

“It does only seem fair,” Robin Russell added.

“Yeah, it’s not like she plans this stuff,” Big Dog chimed in. The rest of the guys seemed to agree.

“Looks like you’re the winner, Steph,” Eddie said, reaching into his pocket for my winnings.

I was amazed when he started counting out money into my hand. I didn’t know betting on my professional life was such a lucrative pastime. Looking at the faces of my friends surrounding me, I wanted to say thanks; after all, I hadn’t actually contributed to the pot. Pulling out my phone, I quickly dialed Pino’s and ordered enough pizza to satisfy the entire station. “Pino’s says it’ll be here in an hour,” I announced to the group at large. My announcement was met with loud cheers of approval and thanks.

I waved it away as everyone returned to the tasks at hand.

As the bodies moved aside, they revealed a black-clad form leaning against the wall, a skip standing, cowed, by his side. I offered Ranger a bright smile and headed his way.

He pushed off the wall and pushed his skip in front of him. Stopping next to me, he offered a brilliant smile and said, “You never disappoint, Babe.”

I smiled back and headed out the door. Now all I had to do was pick up my mother and nieces from the museum and pray I made it to the house still intact.

I could hear my mother’s voice already, “Louise Durkin’s daughter never destroyed museum exhibits and Mary Everett’s daughter Emily had a nice, normal job at the button factory. Why can’t you be more like Emily…?”

A smile crossed my face, though; as I thought of the money I had in my pocket. Maybe I could get a little shopping in after I escaped my mother’s clutches.

A girl could dream.

End

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