Disclaimer: The characters of the Stephanie Plum Series belong to Janet Evanovich and are used here without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: This is just a short little something I rattled of f in a few emails one Saturday morning during a fun discussion of punctuation. The title of this story (Eats, Shoots And Leaves) is the title of a book that's worth a read if you have the time.
Eats, Shoots and Leaves - A Panda Story
By TT
"How was your day, Joe?" Stephanie asked.
"Fine, Cupcake," Joe replied, sitting on the couch and setting the pizza on the coffee table. "I had to arrest a panda bear today."
Stephanie froze, a piece of pizza halfway to her mouth. "You what?" she asked, eying Joe suspiciously, sure she hadn't heard correctly.
"I arrested a panda bear at lunch," Joe reiterated, eyes glued to the hockey game on the television. "He came into Pino's, ate lunch, then pulled a gun and started shooting. When he was done shooting, he turned to leave and that's when I got him."
Truly worried now for Joe's mental health, Stephanie slowly set her pizza down and began edging away from him. "Do you often see pandas at Pino's?" she asked, her words slow and deliberate, her voice betraying only a hint of worry.
"Huh?" Joe asked, turning to look at Stephanie for the first time during the conversation. Seeing the look on her face, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "It was a guy in a panda suit, Cupcake. Geeze, what did you think I meant?"
"Uh..."
Picking up Stephanie's piece of pizza, Joe handed it to her. "Eat the pizza and watch the game," he instructed, amusement clear in his voice.
Stephanie stepped into the bonds office. "Morning," she greeted.
"Morning Steph," Connie returned, deliberately not looking at her
Immediately Stephanie became suspicious. "What's going on?" she demanded as she reached for her files.
“It wasn't my idea, honest," Connie said, still refusing to look at Stephanie.
Flipping through the files, she, at first, didn't notice anything odd. It was when she opened the first one that she realized why Connie refused to look at her. Staring back at her was a man in a panda costume. Scanning the file, she realized the skip was outside her normal bond range. "Uh, Connie? Shouldn't this go to Ranger?" she asked.
It was at that moment the door to Vinnie's office opened and Ranger stepped out. Walking over to her, he glanced at the file in her hand and actually winced. "Babe," he said, his voice sounding a little strained. "It would ruin my street rep to be seen going after a panda bear in the zoo. Besides, you can handle it," he insisted. Then, like the wind, he was gone before she could reply.
"And my rep can handle it?" she called after him, knowing he wouldn't hear. Letting out a sigh, her eyes fell on the bond amount. She supposed shooting up a restaurant filled with cops would be frowned upon, especially since a lot of judges liked eating at Pino's too. Letting out a sigh, she tried to focus on how happy her bank account would be. "Fine," she said flipping the folder shut and leaving the office.
Once in the security of her car, she read the panda's address. Naturally, it was in the 'berg. With a sigh she headed off to catch him.
As luck would have it, the panda had just put the head of his costume in the car as she pulled up.
He obviously recognized who she was because he took off running. Stephanie followed, actually glad the man was in a panda costume since it slowed him down enough for her to catch him.
In a surprisingly graceful move, she tackled him to the ground and pulled off the panda gloves so she could cuff him.
Inside the house, Mr. Walters took a sip of his coffee and stared blankly at the paper. It was true, he had forgotten their anniversary, but his wife seemed to be taking it particularly hard this year. Maybe thirty-five years was supposed to be a big deal.
A sound outside drew his attention to the window. He saw a woman tackle a panda bear to the ground and handcuff him.
His eyes widened and he stared from the sight outside to his coffee and back. Mrs. Walters chose that minute to come into the room, still looking angry.
Slowly putting the coffee on the table and pushing it as far away as it would go, for the first time in their marriage, he set aside the paper and spoke to his wife at breakfast. "So, how would you feel about a Caribbean cruise?" he asked. A quick glance out the window showed his yard was just as it should be - panda free.
"Oh, George!" Mrs. Walters exclaimed, lunging at him and bestowing a passionate kiss on his lips.
End