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| Reece, as gorgeous as he is, seems to play all the nastiest charcaters and has a talent for voices. Here are some of the main characters he plays in the League. |
| EDWARD: He and his simple wife and sister Tubbs own the Local shop, in which strangers are not welcome. Their son and nephew David is kept in the attic, where they bring him "friends" which he loves to pieces. Edward and his trusty crossbow see off any strangers that unwittingly cross their path. He also has many medals, called pesatas, for he was in a war, and always comes back from these wars very tanned and happy. He hates change, in fact, he and Tubbs don't even give change. BEST LINE: "They are not children, Tubbs, they're monsters!" |
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| ROSS GAINES: Worthless Dole Scum, or so Pauline thought until Ross revealed that he was part of the Social Security internal investigations. Pauline, after subjecting Ross to a six week course of verbal abuse and violence, was then fired by Ross who took her job and her pens. Ross was later kidnapped by Pauline, held hostage and refused tuna sandwichs. He was a prime suspect in her murder trial, saying simply that he hated her. BEST LINE: (to Pauline) "You could go to prison for this you know..." Pauline: "Oh, do I look like Deirdre Rachid?" Ross: "YES!!!" |
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| BENJAMIN DENTON: Came to stay with his Aunty Val and Uncle Harvey for a quiet hiking weekend which ended with his friend Martin a victim of local capital punishment and being imprisoned in the Local Shop. He was subjected to his Aunty Val and Uncle Harvey's daily lectures on self-abuse and was on no account allowed to cover his belly with his sticky white love-piss. BEST LINE: "You want me to piss into a glass?" |
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| GEOFF TIPPS: Geoff is a successful local businessman with two best friends, Brian and Mike. Trouble is, he hates Mike. He also hates Brian. He still hasn't got over losing the talent contest when he was only 8, as his mam said he would win. He likes to make random death threats with his gun and fake his own suicide. BEST LINE: (Barbara) "As a woman I could have you under the sex discrimation act!" Geoff: "As a woman we could have you under the trades descriptions act!!!" |
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| OLLIE PLIMSOLLS: Ollie Plimsolls, writer, actor and founder of Legz Akimbo Theatre Company is responsible for many plays about issues including "Everybody Out!" (homosexuality/bitch dykes) "White Chocolate" (racism) "Binz and Needles" (tramps on heroin) "No Home For Johnny" (homelessness) and North/Scumbelina (poverty and being afflicted with Northerness). He and his ex-wife, now dyke, Linda founded the company, and went on to cause many teen suicides. His role models include Sir Laurence Olivier and Hitler. BEST LINE: "This is a play written for adults, and as you're all adults, I'm not going to patronise you! Patronise means, to talk down to you!!!" |
| reece's characters |
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| PAPA LAZAROU: He strutted into town like a pimp, collecting wives and selling pegs along with his Pandemonium Carnival. He had monsters to woo the punters, and with cries of "Hello Dave?" declared to any unfortunate lady he could find..."you're my wife now..." He speaks in a language that only Mama Lazarou understands, and that is gibberish. BEST LINE: "Hello Dave? Is that Dave? Ok Dave, is Dave there? My wife would like to ude your toilet..." |
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| JUDEE LEVENSON: The wannabe middle-class lady whose husband Edie spends more time in the warehouse than with her. Her parentage is highly dubious and she has nothing but a buzzing Phillips Ladyshave to keep her warm on a warm winter's night. BEST LINE: "Be careful with that Iris. It costs more than you owe Kays Catalogue." |