We love to give help but only to those who have no need of it, or more properly to those who desperately need it but proudly or despairingly refuse to accept it.  We reach toward unreachable men in distress and toward no others.  Self-sufficiency may inspire admiration but not love;  frank, hungry need excites pity but tranquilizes desire.                                                   Edmund White,                               Nocturnes for the King of Naples
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