December 2005 / Just been to a lovely party where I got to see all the familiar faces. My gay friends are still active as ever with shows and such. Saw some from ITAC troupe. They remarked that I haven't changed in 10 years. Well, the gray hair is there, but I guess overall, I still look the same. One friend in particular, during the course of our conversation, actually said that I've turned asexual. Oh my g...d ! I guess I am asexual . It's not by design, I don't think, but I stopped being sexually active for 12 years now, my last time being in Hawaii. I remember the year after that, when I was in Thailand, I almost had an encounter, but decided at the last minute not to. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not, stop having sex, but I am a born-again virgin now. And I will proudly wear white on my wedding day if it should come to pass!
Vo Vi promotes celibacy among other things, such as being a vegetarian. I often wonder: Is it better for a person to know everything of this world, then s/he can turn spiritual all s/he wants, or that s/he remains as pure and innocent as possible from the start? By most standards, I'm actually not experienced at all. My first sexual encounter was not until I was 19. The numerous explorations afterwards were not as adventurous as I'd like. They were sorta like exercises for me to learn the techniques. Actually, I don't think I enjoy the sex acts that much. The mechanical aspects always turn me off a little. That's why it had been rare that I truly made that connection, body and soul, with someone. And because I did, on some occasions, that I didn't want anything less. I wonder if I would ever have sex again. I am asexual, a being without sex. Should I be sad, glad, or what?
People have lots of hang-up about sex. I would suggest everyone to take a course in Human Sexuality. You get a chance to learn, to explore, and to put away your reservation/ignorance about this subject for good. At the very least, you should go to a college bookstore and buy the textbook. There's something ... academic about learning sex that way. There are charts, references, data, and pictures, even of all the sexually-transmitted diseases in gory details. Fun, fun, fun.
How about sex in movies, and I'm not talking about porn. I think the boundaries have been pushed too far. Not Hollywood movies, but the French cine'ma, Italian, British, sometimes even Korean and Japanese. Sex has never looked so free, liberated, or perverse. Thank you! to all the brave actors and actresses who bear all, do all for the sake of art/entertainment. I loved seeing Isabelle Hubbert in Ma Me`re. She seemed translucent, utterly human, yet angelic in her depravity. But there are other movies that combine sex and violence, way too disturbing. Has anyone seen Irreversible, with the beautiful Italian actress Monica Bellucci? Well, that one is too much for my taste.
So, I'm not sure why I'm writing this blog. Just that someone actually spelled it out that I am asexual! One day, I hope to discover the joy that all the enlightened ones experience, that divine union of male and female energies in all of us. If not, at least I'll stay young-looking a little longer. I hope?!
