June 1994
Aunt Pauline and I had an instant rapport when we reunited. She had lived a full life. Yet, she recognized the possibilities ahead. And her psychic abilities and spiritual lessons would be an inspiration to those on the path to enlightenment.
Aunt Pauline went to Gay Parade with us. The day before, an angel appeared and showed her the seven rainbow colors as distinct energies. It was truly amazing how child-like and understanding she seemed to be among the crowd. My gay friends adored her.
Godard was a nice distraction. I spent the night with him in a scary-looking house on the hill side. If he'd live closer... or he was older...
I think I'm having a minor depression. The impulse to just take off somewhere and disappear grows stronger everyday. I need someone to hold me, listen to me and give me wise words. I don't want to be strong all the time. Perhaps for my upcoming vacation, I should just be by myself.
July 1994
And so I will. I'll travel to Hawaii all by myself. An adventure. A departure. God, it must be the heat! People falling in love, lust. People losing their virginity. Laughing. Laughing. Life is spinning so fast... There's that need to take stock of my life again. What I have accomplished. What I haven't. Little memories neatly filed away on videos and in my brain. What role do I want to play now? For what purpose? Peace. Light. Nothingness. I want that which used to be a part of me. For entertainment purpose only. I'm not making sense, am I?
thai ta