Zel sighed. "Funny." He slowly faded his light spell away.
Lina was resting her head and arm on Gourry, and she was holding the plushie doll she received from him.
"The plushie.... was making the noise?" asked Filia in disbelief.
They watched as Gourry took another deep breath, and the tiny sword of light on the plush was hitting the side of the bed...
Amelia giggled. "Well! I'm really tired now, so let's go to sleep...!"
"Agreed." yawned Zelgadiss.
"That was a waste of time..." she replied. "I can't believe I was that scared!"
"....." Zelgadiss walked to the chair he was in before.
While Filia moved to hers.
"Filia...!" teased Xelloss. "Can I sit on your lap??"
"No."
"PLEASE??"
"No."
"PLEEEEEEEEASE??"
"No."
"PRETTY PLEASE?"
"NO."
"PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEA--OWWWWW!!!!"
Filia smiled with the pillow she just smacked the trickster with.
"Serves you right." laughed Amelia.
Xelloss didn't reply.
"Good night everyone." sighed Filia.
"Good night." replied Xelloss with neglect.
He was laying on the floor beside the chair FIlia sat in, and his hand was on her armrest, waiting...
'Filia is a dragon... I wonder if she tastes good...?' he flashed a wicked smile, but it disappeared when the dragon-girl shifted her position.
'She despises me. She hates monsters... Maybe I should be something other than a monster? No... Never... I can never change who I am for her... Or will I? Ever since... ever since she was around I found myself starting to change. What is it that makes me this way? Why not Lina? Or even Amelia? Why Filia...?'
His hand moved farther from the sighing blond.
'Could she like someone else? Would she like someone else? Why not me...? Is it because I'm me... a monster... a killer... a murderer... a psychopathic, loveless, black star in the night sky, too dark to see beside her white brightness...?
'I can't believe I'm stopping to think like this. Should I kill her to get the problem off my mind? Why not? That's my solution for everything else.... But why am I stalling with this girl? Do I need her to live? Do I want her to live...? Do I want her...?'
His hand moved closer to touching Filia's side, but he paused again.
'If I accept her.... Will she ever accept me...?' Sadness filled his eyes when the thoughts went through his head over and over.
Amelia sat on the ground...
'I''m wondering... should I ask to sit on Zelgadiss' lap... or will he say no just like Filia did?' she looked in the direction she heard Zel's breathing from. Darkness was all she saw. Is darkness all she'll get?
'Has Zelgadiss ever gotten a chance to love a girl? He's been a chimera for some time, hasn't he? Maybe... am I the first girl he likes? Or does he even like me....
'He did seem to in the closet... but maybe he was doing that just for... or is he that kind of person? I don't know Zelgadiss enough... maybe he thinks I'm some squeeky girl with an annoying attitude... will I ever be good enough to meet what he wants from me?
'I don't want to make him love me... Maybe I should just give up...? I would never be able to do that...' she whiped her eyes trying to prevent herself from crying.
Zelgadiss shifted and sighed.
Amelia nearly jumped.
'Is he awake? Is he loooking at me? No... why should he? He probably wouldn't do anything... he probably can't even see me... Maybe he doesn't even see me when the lights are on. Maybe I'm just there...'
A tear fell from her eyes, shocking herself. 'Do I love him so much that these simple thoughts make me cry? I wish I could stop thinking. Then I'd never have doubts on him. I want to... ... I want to hold him, tightly, and never let go...'
Gourry couldn't really sleep. His body was relaxed from the warmth of Lina, but his mind was racing with random thoughts...
'Why why why, is it so hard for me to say... "I love you." Is it separation I fear?'
His hand rubbed Lina's side, as she breathed steady breaths.
'I'm surprised she sleeps beside me, while others are around. Will she regret it tomorrow?
'How many times has she hit me? I don't mind.... I take it in as her affection... Is that why I'm asking myself how many times?
'Why am I worried in the first place? What more do I want? I love Lina...
'Maybe I just want to tell her that... at the right time...
'Maybe I just want her to tell me that...'
The swordsman sighed, and tightened his arm around Lina.
'Why is it so hard for me to say those words....'
Filia could feel a small movement, that she knows is Xelloss.
'Stupid monster. Can't he tell I don't like him? I can never like him! He nearly wiped out my entire race!!'
She cursed silently.
'But why does he even try so hard, and why does everyone think I like him? I don't!'
She was slightly blushing, and was shocked when she noticed.
'There's no way I could like him! He's.... a MONSTER! Always teasing me. Always making my tail pop up. Always trying to make me do things to him.
.......
'But why did I kiss him.........'
Filia smacked her face with both of her hands, and felt the warmth of her blush.
She shook her head.
'What would happen if I did say I liked him. Would he just abuse my body and leave me right after he..... he...'
She shivers in fear.
'Is he that kind of person...?
'But... why did I kiss him. Why did I blush... Why now, is my heart racing.... Do I actaully.... I actually....'
'Such thoughts anger me, and yet... I feel as if I want to hear them again.
'Do I... really..... Do I....'
Filia looked in front of her with her hand over her mouth. Her eyes shone... in somewhat of a shock...
'I.... like.....'
The dragon's hands moved along her armrest, and her face burned with red as she felt the softness of Xelloss' skin.
As soon as Xelloss saw the chance, he took it, and without struggle, placed his hand upon hers. Holding it. Loving it....
Filia didn't move. Her heart raced, her body shook. She didn't know what to say or do. Motionless. Afraid.
Xelloss felt the fear, and was thinking rapidly of how he could stop it. And what she was afraid of...
'Why am I shaking?' thought Filia. 'What am I afraid of....?
'Xelloss... I'm afraid of him.... afraid of him abusing me, hurting me...
'Can he actually love someone? He is a monster... Can monsters love people....?'
Xelloss sat up and moved his face closer to the chair, bringing Filia's hand up to it.
He softly, and silently kissed it, making Filia feel more relieved.
'Ahhh..... Why does that make me want to sigh...? He was almost.... sweet...'
Xelloss sensed what he was doing was working, but he didn't want to move too fast. He just kissed her hand again. And held it upon his cheek.
'She's so soft... I know I love her.... It kills me that I love her... What would my master think. What of the other monsters.... I'm... I'm a demon, loving a god....
'But oh do I love this goddess...
'How can I make her see I'm serious...? How can I show her I care... A monster caring... like she'll believe me...
'A monster has never fallen in love with his enemy... So why should I...
'Kill her.... NO. What would my life be without her... Filia... dead...................?'
Filia breathed softly with a smile on her face.
'I could never kill someone I love... I could never kill Filia....! Filia....!'
A single, cold tear... slid down onto Filia's hand from Xelloss' eye...
He cried.
Filia quickly sat up and paused in shock.
Xel let go of her hand.
'A monster cries?!' Filia thought. 'This is serious! What...?!'
"Xelloss!" she whispered.
He didn't reply.
"Xelloss...!" she got off her chair and felt where he was sitting. She touched his leg, and searched for his arm...
"Xelloss... what's wrong...?" she asked worried, and holding his hand with her left. Her right hand wiped away the cold tears escaping his eyes.
"Filia...."
"Talk to me, Xelloss. What's... What's wrong?"
Xelloss replied with wrapping his arms around her soft body. "Filia..."
Her eyes shone with worry. And her hands paused before she could embrace him. But forcing herself not to would be torture to both of them...
She held him tightly, and felt warm tears fall from her eyes.
"Filia... I...."
Filia held him tighter.
"I do too." she replied.
They sat there on the floor... embracing one another, and crying with satisfaction.
"I'll never let go." whispered Xelloss, squeezing hard.
Filia struggled to breathe, but somehow enjoyed the feeling. She squeezed back.
'What's she thinking?'
Zelgadiss shifted and sighed.
'I never thought this would work in the first place. I finally give back her affection, and now she sits wondering if she could continue....
'Probably not. I wouldn't want a girl that looked like me... Or would I...?'
He sighs again.
'Why did I even try. Why am I still so selfish. Selfishness.... it kills me.'
He clenched his fists.
'Amelia is so gentle... How can she love someone as rough as me? She likes showing love, and I hardly do. And when I show it, it's secret... I can't... I can't show my full affection. Not in this body... Not in my state... Heartless. That's probably the first time the word makes my chest turn...'
'Lack of confidence. That's what it is. And it takes a lot of effort to admit it. Well I just did.
'Maybe I should just continue....? Or should I quit while I'm ahead...?
'I'll wait. For her? Or for me? Don't know that yet. I'm not too good with this kind of thing. I'll just see what happens.
'But...What if nothing happens..?'
Amelia was thinking the same thing.
'I would wait for him to make a move. He's a guy! Guy's make the moves...! Right...?
'But... what if he just gives up? What if nothing happens..?'
Amelia shook her head violently.
'I can't let that happen!' she felt her heart beating hard in her body, and knew she had to do something.
'First... why isn't he moving..? Does he not know I like him? Of course he knows... Maybe he doesn't like me - no, lets cross that one out. Maybe he's too shy. Maybe he wants to give me time... But just leaving me here isn't giving me time, it's leaving me lonely...'
Amelia's eyes started getting used to the darkness and she looked in the direction of the rest of the party.
She started to cry when she saw Filia and Xelloss hugging... When she saw Lina and Gourry hugging... she cried... from happiness and sadness. Longing.... for the love that wasn't making a move. For all of her thoughts building up and randomly blaming it on her. But mostly, for the comfort of Zelgadiss...
Tears streamed down her face.
'I haven't cried in months. Usually when that's the case, when I cry.... I cry hard.... and for a long time... wishing someone would hug me and say it's all better. It'll all be okay...
'Nobody's here to tell me that phrase... Nobody's here to hug me. Not Lina... Not Gourry, Filia, Xelloss...
'Zelgdadiss.......!!' she uncontrollably let out a quiet gasp of air, imbetween silent, but strong tears.
'I feel as if he's left my heart... forever...'
Zelgadiss could hear the soft breaths of the crying Amelia.
Looking around to see if anyone notices, he sees everyone but the two of them alone...
Zel easily put the situation, sounds, and movements together.
His eyes softened, as he watched the princess silently, alone in the darkenss.
She curled herself up, distant, and cold.
'Amelia.....'
Was all his mind kept repeating...
'Amelia.......... Amelia.........'
Surprised, Zelgadiss felt his eyes start to water.
His immediate reaction was to join Amelia....
He took a quiet, deep, sad, breath, and stood up from his chair, quietly, very quietly moving behind Amelia, making sure she's un-aware of his presence.
He listens to her cry, as he kneels behind her.
'I feel as if he's left my hear... forever...' she repeats in her mind.
"Zelgadiss...!" she whispers as softly as she can, still not knowing the one she longs for is behind her.
Responding to the call of his princess... Zelgadiss hugs Amelia around her waist, making her gasp as the warmth and softness of his touch.
"Amelia..." he whispers back, trying not to hurt her with his hands.
Amelia turned to face the chimera and jumped into his arms. Still crying, but now with joy.
Zelgadiss fell back and lay on the soft carpet, with Amelia hugging him as tight as she can.
He carefully stroked her hair and calmed her down as much as he could.
Easy enough, because Amelia replied by moving towards his face and kissed him softly on the cheek.
Zel longed to feel her touch against his skin, instead of against his roughness....
But Amelia thought otherwise.
"Promise me, Zelgadiss."
He continued stroking her hair. "I will. Whatever it is, if it makes you happy, I will."
Amelia smiled and clutched him tighter.
"Promise me you won't take as long as you did just now." She smiled.
So did Zelgadiss. "Promise me you won't have any doubts on me. Promise you'll be with me for a long time.... Years.... Just don't leave my side....? I'll promise the same for you..."
"I promise, Zelgadiss." she lay her head on his chest, and smiled at the feeling of his heart.
The steady beat... the comfort of his closeness. The love......
'I still can't believe falling asleep can be this hard. Am I too excited...? About what? Gourry?' Lina moved her head closer to her swordsman's neck. He pulled her tighter to him as she did.
'I love the way he loves me. Satisfaction. My feelings. I'm satisfied.'
"Lina...?" Gourry whispers slightly shaking her arm.
A little surprised, the sorceress quickly replies with, "Yes?"
Gourry took a while to answer.
"Umm..."
'Should I tell her... no... wrong timing.... then what can I say?! Ahhh! Stupid Gourry!'
'What....?' Lina wondered.....
"Can you... Lina... just maybe move a bit... cause you're sort of hurting me....."
Lina nearly freaked. "I am? Where?!"
Gourry hesitated. "Down..."
Lina flushed dark red, and immediately moved from laying on top of him.
Gourry took a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" Lina asked a little distant.
"Yes, I'm fine now." He grabbed Lina's hand and pulled her atop him once more.
She made herself comfortable and sighed.
"Did you like your birthday party?" asked Gourry curiously.
"Yeah.... I really enjoyed myself...." she was tired, but couldn't sleep.
"Good. I'm glad." yawned Gourry.
Gourry started to stroke Lina's back.
The room seemed to have gotten darker somehow. Either that, or Lina was blind - she couldn't see a thing. Maybe it was because she has trouble pulling an all-nighter... Staying up for more than 20 hours....
She felt as if she was waiting for something to happen. But didn't know what...
Maybe she was supposed to do something?
She couldn't quite make up her mind.
"Gourry..." she started, and felt her face feel hot already.
"Hmm?" he replied.
Her mind somehow stopped her from speaking. She wanted to say something but it was as if she lost her voice.
"What?" Gourry said slowly moving to see her face.
She blushed even more and couldn't pull herself together to simply say 'nothing'.
Gourry slightly shrugged and lay back relaxed.
"I have a confession to make." whispered Gourry.
Lina's heart raced hoping to hear what she couldn't say.
The swordsman couldn't tell what her reaction was. "Well I.... I have trouble saying something... I mean... even now it's taking so much effort to say this.." he laughed quietly.
So did Lina....
"I... want to say something but can't...." he admitted quickly.
There was a long silence....
"Me..." Lina shocked herself with the sounds of her voice. "Me too." she completed.
Gourry stroked Lina's back again. "I'm glad I'm not alone." he replied.
Lina nodded softly.
Gourry felt like smacking himself.
Lina felt like smacking herself too.
The awkwardness of it all....
Gourry searched for Lina's hand, and held it in his, softly, but tight. He didn't want to let go.... Not from Lina.
Lina took a deep breath, was about to speak... but then didn't and sighed.
The poor things lay there for almost an hour.... Both of them mixed in their own minds of words they were too confused to say. Not confused... more afraid...
Gourry kept stroking Lina's hair, and finally paused.
"Lina... I love you." his face was red, but his mind was happy and full of satisfaction. He finally told her... finally....
But what's her reply? Gourry listened carefully.....
*SNORE*
He nearly jumped. 'She's sleeping??' he thought in shock.
The swordsman sighed, then looked at her and smiled... Leaning closer, he lightly kissed her on the forehead.
"I love you..." mumbled Lina half-asleep.
He smiled again, and lay back ready to sleep.
Lina opened her eyes and looked around. Light was shining through one of the open windows... It was morning already.
The sorceress didn't really sleep much, but was awake early.
She looked at Amelia, who was laying over Zelgadiss. And saw Filia sitting in Xelloss' lap, with him embracing her.
Everyone... together with someone else...
She smiled sweetly, and felt something new inside of her...
Whether it was the feeling of another year, or love... didn't matter.
She was happy with the way things were heading....
"I can't wait until next year."
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