The 101 Rules of Conduct for the Dallas Urban Skaters

      1.All associatess must commit the rules to memory.
      2.URBAN SKATERS will skate with anyone.
      3.Meeting times will be posted at all times on the bulletin board in the club house.
      4.All officers will be elected by a secret ballot.
      5.You must have an official URBAN SKATER name, but you don't need to know it.
      6.Dues are payable on the 32nd of each month.
      7.The Treasurer is responsible for all dues.
      8.The Secretary is in charge of notes.
      9.The President will be present.
      10.The Vice-President will play golf.
      11.A pop quiz on the URBAN SKATERS rules may be given at any time.
      12.The URBAN SKATERS power sign is accomplished by clenching your foot with your skates on - until the
           front and back wheels touch.
      13.The official URBAN SKATERS motto is "Too Cool To Care".
      14.There can be no designated leader.
      15.No whining allowed.
      16.No trashholes allowed.
      17.There will be no long rules.
      18.URBAN SKATER associates who, while wearing a Radiant Rollers wristband, commit any infraction of the
           law or common sense, must gnaw off their wrist to ensure the wristband is not noticed by a pursuing police
           ossifer, security guard or parking garage attendant, lest they bring disrespect, scorn or public ridicule upon
           the lofty aforementioned organization.
      19.Conventional Skater Rule: Bladers must always ride in the back of any vehicle while being transported from
           one skate to another. Blader Interpretation: Bladers are superior to conventional skaters and therefore are
           afforded the right to be chauffeured around.
      20.Blader Rule: All conventional skaters must yield to bladers. Conventional Interpretation: Most bladers are
           out of control and don't know how to stop their skates.
      21.Whining is allowed when the reason for the whining has been discussed by all associates present and is voted
            on by said associate to be a legitimate reason for so doing.
      22.You must know and be able to execute the URBAN SKATERS salute.
      23.The official URBAN SKATERS salute is accomplish by skating heel to heel, while performing a "Benny Hill
            Salute" with the right hand (of course the left hand is also acceptable).
      24.If you find yourself in anything other than an upright position you may have fallen or you may be skating
           upside down - correct this as soon as possible.
      25.URBAN SKATER Rash will not be recognized unless a picture of said rash is submitted to the committee.
      26.All URBAN SKATER rashes will be judged and reviewed by the committee at the end of each calendar year
      27.Judging of URBAN SKATER rashes will based on time lost skating, blood loss, size, length and depth.
      28.The committee will submit 10 finalists which will be judged by Applause-O-Meter and the winner will receive
            an all expense paid trip to the Emergency Room at the hospital of their choice.
      29.No Welmet Whining you Whisky Wabbits. A weevee & wary whule.
      30.See rule number 47.
      31.If you ignored rule number 30 before you went to rule number 47, go back to rule number 30. If you followed
           the rules and came here from rule number 38 then ignore rule number 30.
      32.All URBAN SKATER rules must have a number.
      33.All numbers must have a URBAN SKATER rule.
      34.Any URBAN SKATER rule number can be changed at any time.
      35.URBAN SKATERS never stays to the right.
      36.All URBAN SKATERS rules are meant to be broken.
      37.There are no rules.
      38.See rule number 31.
      39.There will be no officers.
      40.URBAN SKATERS must be prepared to skate at all times.
      41.URBAN SKATERS are human beings.
      42.URBAN SKATERS colors are black and blue.
      43.URBAN SKATERS must always skate alone, unless in the company of others.
      44.URBAN SKATERS must always keep their mustache neatly trimmed (men and women).
      45.URBAN SKATERS never falls.
      46.If URBAN SKATERS falls no one will acknowledge it.
      47.See rule number 72.
      48.Once you become a URBAN SKATER associate, you cannot be dismembered for any reason.
      49.Any associate attempting to discover the location of the secret ballot will be dismembered.
      50.Your URBAN SKATERS T-shirt must be worn at all times, unless you don't have it on.
      51.If your URBAN SKATERS T-shirt touches the ground it must be burned.
      52.You cannot wipe your butt with a URBAN SKATERS T-shirt unless there's no toilet paper available.
      53.URBAN SKATERS must be 21 years old (ID required).
      54.Minors are exempt from rule number 53.
      55.URBAN SKATERS never pays their membership dues.
      56.No URBAN SKATERS rules are to be written down.
      57.URBAN SKATERS will not have a bulletin board or a club house.
      58.Your URBAN SKATERS manual must be carried at all times, unless you don't have it with you.
      59.URBAN SKATERS T-shirts must be worn at all meetings.
      60.Meeting times will be announced by the president at all meetings.
      61.The URBAN SKATER master, no matter what he says, does not know all the rules.
      62.Anyone can play hockey.
      63.Anyone playing hockey must hear the coach but you dont have to listen.
      64.Playing hockey may lead to more use of rule number 24.
      65.While playing hockey, if you find yourself using rule number 24 and the coach asks if you are ok,
            please answer as soon as possible unless you are not ok enough to answer. Not answering quick enough
            will make the coach mad but who cares.
      66.Post-Game Reviews are not necessarily the way things went (a lawyer advised rule).
      67.Anyone showing up for a Tuesday night skate with a hockey stick needs more hockey.
      68.This rule is the last rule to replace the kick the cup rules. As a rule there will be no more rules
           concerning kick the cup playing. With there being no more rules concerning kick the cup playing,
           feel free to kick the coach's cup.
      69.Is rule number 69.
      70.Shut up and skate.
      71.Bladers cannot get out of line.
      72.See rule number 38.
      73.URBAN SKATERS does it on the trail.
      74.Incumbents cannot be re-elected.
      75.Skate this!!!
      76.Skate or die.
      77.There will be no repeat rules.
      78.There will be no repeat rules.
      79.URBAN SKATERS does it in the park.
      80.Ignorance stupidity and dumb acts will earn you a "DUUUH!!!".
      81.URBAN SKATERS are not allowed to eat while skating, unless they are hungry.
      82.Don't skate in a buffalo herd unless you are in Buffalo.
      83.All Buffalo skaters will be herd.
      84.Don't screw  with the person writing down the URBAN SKATERS rules. (This is a whining rule)
      85.URBAN SKATERS never swims with their skates on.
      86.URBAN SKATERS never gets lost.
      87.URBAN SKATERS never asks for directions.
      88.Otay Hotay (this was the URBAN SKATER masters idea of a rule).
      89.URBAN SKATERS does it in the street.
      90.Don't skate between any headlights, unless it's 2 motorcycles.
      91.You can be a PEGASUS FLYER and URBAN SKATER, but you can't be URBAN SKATER and a
           PEGASUS FLYER, unless you're a member/associate of both.
      92.Anyone reading the URBAN SKATERS rules will be dis-membered.
      93.Any URBAN SKATER rule that makes sense will be rewritten.
      94.All URBAN SKATER rules are meant to be broken.
      95.URBAN SKATERS rules are not to be analyzed, criticized, or politicized.
      96.There are too many rules.
      97.The only way to get a URBAN SKATER manual is to buy a URBAN SKATERS T-shirt.
      98.There will be no ridiculous, contradictory, or otherwise stupid rules.
      99.We picked this number for a special rule so that the number would be easy to remember, but before we could
            write it down, we forgot what the special rule was supposed to be… (feel free to insert your own rule here).
     100.Disregard all rules.
     101.There can be no more than 100 rules.
     102.There will never be any more rules (unless a good one comes along).
     103.Doh....

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