(Ethyl jumps up, excited, hurries to the front.)

MC: Hi Ethyl.

Ethyl (almost hysterical with glee) Hi.

MC: Now, Ethyl, do you know how the game works? (Ethyl nods excitedly) Ok, then, let's begin. (Place colendar on Ethyl's head) OK, Maynard, let's probe this brain and see who comes out! (Sounds effects would be good, here).

(Enter Bernice, who is 10-12 years old, freeze)

MC: Ethyl, do you recognize this young lady?

Ethyl (shocked): Yes, that's Bernice, she was my best friend in middle school.

(Bernice comes to life): I remember, in 8th grade, Ethyl was class president, star point guard, captain of the volleyball team, fastest on the track team, first chair flute, and pulled straight 'A's, but she never noticed when I wore a new poodle skirt. (Cross arms, angrily, freeze.)

MC: Well, Ethyl, this is an.. uh... interesting start, isn't it?

Ethyl: I know we didn't do a lot together, because I was always doing other stuff. She never wore poodle skirts, did she?

MC: Let's see what else Maynard can find! (Sound effect)

(Enter Rhona, freeze)

MC: Who is this, Ethyl?

Ethyl: Well, that's my roommate and best friend from college Rhonda.

(Rhonda comes to life): Ethyl? She was my roommate. At least I think she was. She slept there, anyway. She was always doing something: extra credit lab, volleyball, marching band... (laughs) I remember this one time, a bunch of us went to Daytona for spring break. We drove all night and all day, and went to bed right after we go there. The next day, Ms. Busybody was up at 6am, getting ready, waking everyone else up, trying to organize visits to all the sites. Finally everyone got up, put our hats and bathing suits on, hauled our chairs to the beach, put on our sunscreen, and went back to sleep. She was furious! And that whole week...

(Ethyl rips off colendar, Rhonda freezes): Enough already! Where did you get these people? I didn't come up here to be insulted like this!

MC: Well, Ethyl, these people are coming out of your memory via the brain probe! Only YOU know how these people will react.

Ethyl: (nervously) Well, can we move on? I've seen enough of Rhonda...

MC: Very well. Maynard? Let's move on (Rhonda exits, Ethyl waits until Rhonda is gone, and puts colendar back on, hesitantly.) Who's next, Maynard? (Sound effect. Enter Frieda, freeze.) Who is this, Ethyl?

Ethyl (thinking for a moment, to see if she *wants* recognize this person): That's, uh, Frieda, my husband Ted's sister. She was so helpful at Ted's funeral.

Frieda: The first time we met Ethyl at Christmas after Ted asked her to marry him, I thought she'd fit right in, because she loved helping out in the kitchen. But, when dinner started, she just couldn't seem to stop! Jumping here and there, getting everything for everyone. Finally, Ted told her to sit down and relax. She sat, but she was anything but relaxed. AFter they got married, it was "Honey do this, and Honey do that, and "I'll be home before 10" (Secretive) You know, Ted died of a heart attack, but most of the family says that Ted died first because he wanted to. (Frieda freeze)

Ethyl: How can these people say these things about me? Was I really that harried? I didn't know that was always so busy! I guess I was too busy to notice. Well, this couldn't have happened at a better time! My work retirement party is tomorrow, and as of 3pm, I am officially retired.

MC: That's wonderful! So, what will you do, when you retire?

Ethyl: Well, I'm signed up for the sewing club and knitting club, I'm taking up golf and tennis, I've volunteered to help with kids at the local elementary school, and I'm bowling 4 nights a week, and... (if possible, have sparks or smoke come from the brain probe, realize what you're doing)

MC: Let's take off this brain probe before somone back there gets hurt. (change affect) And that does it for this edition of "this is your life." Stay tuned for this week's horror feature: When schedules go wild. Good night, everyone!