So Herb decided to run away and find a better home.
He waited carefully on the table, in the hopes that some handsome, well-intentioned student would come and enjoy the questionable edibles provided by the University.
Numerous young pupils stopped at the table and gobbled down their malnutritional meal, but none of them seemed like a wise getaway choice: some of them swore, some larger ones ate almost an entire muffin in one bite, while others even poured salt and pepper into his pot, causing chafing and poor soil conditions. These students were much too irresponsible and revolting for a plant of Herb's stature. Would he ever find another home?
At last, a studly lad and a comely girl ambled into the cafeteria, purchased some corn pops, and settled themselves right next to Herb.
"What a fine house plant!" Exclaimed the strapping young man.
"What beautiful green leaves!" Declared the gorgeous babe.
Herb wasted no time at all. He stealthfully crept under the shirt of the valiant, heroic bloke, evading the wandering eyes of the supercilious cafeteria workers. All three suavely exited the building without batting an eyelash.
Herb was free. He even got a new corn pops bowl to spread his roots in.
He grew to know and love his owner, despite some initial difficulties involving his unusual diet of Dr Pepper and fruit juice, resulting in a noisome odor. Consequently Herb was banished from his new home, finding refuge in the hallway. However, a sinister neighbor purloined Herb in the middle of the night; soon missing signs were
posted, and Herb was greately missed. Herb, being the intelligent house plant that he was, escaped his prison, fixed his diet, solving his body odor problem, and returned home with a hopeful heart. He was received with cries of joy, and lived on in happiness and peace.
Today Herb is enjoying an all-new pot, and his bigger and is healthier than ever. He enjoys occasional binges of Miracle Grow, but otherwise he is very well behaved.
True story.
