Bring Me to Life
By Shardy
This is some weird little story I thought up when listening to this song (which is currently my all time favorite right now). In my opinion, there is no basic plotline, it doesn’t make a lick of sense, so if you wanna flame me because of this, go ahead because there is nothing you can say that I haven’t already told myself.
Notes: The lyrics and the story don’t exactly go hand-in-hand but I believe the essence of both is the same. I used the Japanese phrase “Onegai” and I think it means ‘please’.
***
How can you see into my eyes
Like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb?
Without a soul
My spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back
Home
Darkness. It was completely dark when unconsciousness took him and it was completely dark now as if there was no difference. Am I still alive? Not an actual thought on his part, at least not in conscious words that one could speak, but the simple wondering of the mind, and instinctive question if you will. He felt alive. He could hear the soft rhythm of his exhausted heart in the vacuum of silence. Such a quiet heartbeat, so slow he thought it stopped beating completely until it moved again.
As far as he could tell, he was alive. Well, in the scientific definition of being alive. His brain was operating, his heart was beating despite its slow pace. But he had long caught on to the joke: he wasn’t truly alive. No, he died some six years ago when he was adopted at age ten. Thanks to HIM, his heart, his soul, his essence of living shriveled up and vanished from existence. It was a fact he long ago learned to accept.
Now that I know what I’m without
You can’t just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
He was lying on his back, his arms shackled together by the wrists behind him. His legs were bent up by the knees. He wanted to stretch out, but the chain snaking around his left leg, then around his right, and ascending to the ceiling would not give him that luxury. His ankles were shackled as well, but he really didn’t see the point. Where would he go? He was in his spirit form, a prisoner in his own body. Ah, so that OTHER presence was calling all the shots.
Normally, he would resist, fight back. He had a will of iron; no one could hold him, control him. He was as untame as a wild stallion in a land untouched by human interaction. But now.....he was too tired, just too tired. This death-like rest was almost welcoming.
For years he had contemplated death, from standing by the bathroom sink holding a razor blade against his wrist to the icy pressure of a pistol against his temple just to see if he had the guts to let go completely.
He didn’t. Something always held him back. Weakness? Maybe, but more along the lines of that he never submitted to anything, not even the seduction of death.
Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead
With a shuddering exhale, he turned his face to the side and closed his eyes. “Let me die,” he prayed in a barely audible whisper. “Please let me die. Onegai....let me die.”
“Seto Kaiba? Giving in? Tell me my ears have deceived me.”
He slowly opened his eyes to see a young man about sixteen years standing over him, ice-blue eyes glaring at him, brunette hair tussled with wild abandon. His arms were crossed in front of his chest. His other self wore the same thing he did: a blue silk shirt, open exposing his chest, and black leather pants. “What are you doing lying down!?” that cold, calculating voice demanded angrily. “Get up, Kaiba! You have to fight!”
He knew who this other was, the voice of the one he had listened to as his only method of survival: his ego, his pride, who looked exactly like him because it had dominated his whole life. For once, he couldn’t listen, not this time. He was just too damn tired.
“Why are you doing this, Kaiba!?” his pride shouted. “You have to fight! You don’t submit to anyone, you understand, Kaiba!?! NO ONE can hold you down! Stand up! FIGHT!”
Just considering it was tiring. “I......can’t.....”
“Shut up!! Stop being so weak like Katsuya Jonouchi!! Yes, you can stand up!! KAIBA!!!!”
He groaned softly. “No.....” Already, he could feel himself slipping away. Death was close. Very close. His pride vanished and he was alone again. Good. Let the other presence keep that non-human shell he suffered in all these years. So long as he could rest. Dear God, let him rest. Onegai.......
All of this sight
I can’t believe I couldn’t see
Kept in the dark
But you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping 1000 years it seems
I’ve got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don’t let me die here/There must be something more
Bring me to life
“Wake up, Seto,” a young, child-like voice pleaded softly. “Oh, please, wake up.”
“No....I don’t want to....I just....I just wanna.....rest.....let me rest, onegai.....”
A soft intake of teary breath. “But you have to, you must, Seto!”
“Onegai....please....”
“You are still needed in this world!”
That voice. He had heard it before, too. It often spoken to him as well, but this voice he had refused to listen. He had thought this voice died....or was it his pride deceiving him again?
He willed his eyes to open, and was shocked to see a ten-year-old boy kneeling beside him with brunette hair and large sapphire eyes. Tears were trailing down those oceanic pools. It was defiantly not his pride. He knew exactly who this boy was.
“I....I’m needed?”
“Yes,” he heart whispered. “Mokuba needs you. More than ever. You have to fight the Rod, Seto! Please, or your little brother will suffer!”
Suddenly a voice called out from the depths of his being. “Seto! Can you hear me!? Big brother!”
Maniacal laughter followed. “Foolish brat! Your ‘big brother’ is gone! He has submitted to the power of the Millennium Rod, as you will soon!”
Submitted. That word again.
“I, Seth the almighty sorcerer, am in control now!”
“NO! SETOOO!”
The sound of his own name coming from the one who depended upon him the most seemed to give him the energy he needed. Submit? NEVER! As long as he had someone who loved him and needed him, he could never give up on life. “MOKUBA!” he screamed as he struggled to break free of the chains that bonded him. The fuckers were wrapped tight and all he did to break lose was in vain.
Exhausted, he lay there as memories of himself and Mokuba flashed in his mind: playing chess, snowball fights, wrestling matches, the realization that no matter how much work he had to do, he always had time for his little brother.
Perhaps one had to be standing on the threshold of Death’s door in order to fully understand how truly blessed he was. Just having Mokuba love him as he did was more than he could want, more than he deserved. There is no such thing as a bleak and empty life because it is the little things that make all the difference. Life is not ruled by events that happen to one, but how one reacts to those events. One can have a miserable past, but the future can be as bright and cheery as he wants it to be. Only you had the power to control your future, your fate, and no person, no event, can do it for you.
I can’t die, he thought desperately. Not now. Not this way. Tears gathered in his dimming sapphire eyes that melted back to ocean depths. I have to live; I WANT to live. Tear drops fell like shimmering diamonds and burned through the shackles as if they were really made acid.
“Let me live, please....ONEGAI!! LET ME LIVE!”
Then, he was conscious and standing back in the realm of reality, the other presence having vanished, the duel, both duels, lost. Everything came into focus just as a Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, under the magic of brain control, blasted him with neon energy. He was flung backwards as his lifepoints sank to zero.
He had lost a duel to Yugi again.
And he was glad.
He was alive.
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside
(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up) Before I come undone
(Save me) Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life
I’ve been living a lie/There’s nothing inside
Bring me to life......
~*~The End~*~
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