Marik's Valentine
By Shardy

A really short, humorous monologue that just came to my head several days before Valentine's Day.

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Valenine's Day. How I hate it. Curses to the man who sacrificed his life for his life and created such a horrid day to begin with!!! (Well, considering he's already dead and has been dead for quite some time, I guess that won't work).

I've always hated the day of love. Love. What a joke! Nothing more than "Evol" spelled backwards. Ishizu likes Valentine's Day. Of course she would! She's the pretty one, the "loved one". She always recieved the chocolates, the roses, the attention.

I like chocolate. I like chocolate a lot. But did I ever recieve even a piece of the wonderfully gooey sweet stuff for Valentine's Day?? Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Hey, I have feelings, too! I wasn't always an evil dictator trying to take over the world. Maybe I want my fair share of the cheesecake for once.

This year, it was different. Much different. I woke up as usual, took a hot bath, and stood in front of the slab of Egyptian heiroglyphic inscriptions with my shirt off for an hour, contemplating on how I was going to get rid of that pesky Pharoah once and for all. Then I put on my robes and opened the door to go sit on my throne and do what I do best: pout.

Something red caught my eye, and when I looked down, I stared in total and utter disbelief. A rose lay in my path on top of a heart-shaped box with a note that said "I Love You" attatched to the leaf.

I choked. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came forth. How could this be??? I banished all things called "friendship", "companionship", "love", and all things associated with those potty-mouth words like "loyalty" and "lust" (uhhh...okay, scratch that...maybe not "lust"). Anyway, to make a long story short, I could not understand why anyone would want to give me something. ME!! Marik!!! What happened??? How could I screw up like this??? Was I not evil enough??? Was I not cold-blooded enough??? Have I not tortured enough souls already??? Was there a promise I forgot to break?????

Dammit, the Board of Anime Villians are sooo gonna take away serious brownie points for this!!!!!

I screamed for my coughcoughmindlessslavescoughcough servants until my voice was hoarse with panic. They rushed into the room, Rashid staring at me expressionlessly. I pointed to the rose and box. "What is this abomination??" I demanded through cletched teeth.

Rashid instantly went... giggly on me. No, this totally freaked me out, because Rashid never even smiled, much less giggled . I narrowed my eyes at him as he sniggered, "Chocolates, sir. We know how much you feel left out on Valentine's Day, so we all collaborated together and bought you something."

I paled. I shook from head to toe. My eyes were so narrowed that they were almost closed and I bet I had that expression on my face as one has when he was swallowed a sour lemon. I wanted to use Mind Crush and banish them all to the Shadow Realm and take over the world myself (hell, I was doing most of the work, anyway). But I was too mad, too flustered to make the spell work properly. So, I did the only thing I could do. I stamped my foot as hard as I could, whirled around and stormed into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

It was then I realized I had somehow taken the rose and box with me. I flung myself on my stomach upon my vast, elegant bed. I put the rose on my pillow and opened the heart-box.

There they were. All twenty of them. Brown, sparkly, purty. I can actually, honestly say that tears filled my eyes. I delicately took a piece and popped it in my mouth, chewing slowly, ever so slowly, my eyes closing in ecstasy as I purred like a leopard.

Chocolate. Sweet, sweet, gooey chocolate.

~*~The End~*~

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