mrtexperience

This interview was conducted at The Whole on the University of Minnesota campus in 1995.

Krusty: I wanna know if you guys ever built any tree forts when you were kids.

Joel: My dear daddy always promised that he would build a tree fort, but he never came through. It was one of the many bitter disappointments that taught me about how life... how unfair life really is.

Dr. Frank: Never built a tree fort per say. I did a lot of crawling into little spaces and hiding in them. Sometimes for days on end when I was a small child. Not in trees though. How 'bout you Jym?

Jym: No. Never a tree fort. Climbed many trees though.

DF: We are a no tree fort band apparently.

Jym: We're from Califomia. They don't have tree forts in Califomia.

K: That's not true.

Jym: Really?

Joel: Caught in a lie again.

DF: Well, it seemed like the easy way out. This is kind of like the Geraldo show. Being cross-examined by... cuz he was a lawyer you know. Caught in a web of lies just on the first question. It's getting a little hot here.

K: You guys have been together for ten years approximationately, right?

DF: Yeah.

K: Okay. So now what is it like… what's it like for you now with all these bands popping up that are like, similar in sound and now you're getting compared to them instead of them getting compared to you?

DF: Yeah. It's kind of funny, you know. I mean, what can you say about it? You can't get upset about it. You just have to kind of be amused by it. And… I don't know... I think that the people... the elite group... the small group of people who have any idea who we are can feel special... and that they are members of an exclusive club... that they're the one who knows about it. And we've been working really hard to maintain their exclusive status over the years.

Joel: So, I guess now all of those reading this interview are now party to...

DF: That's right. You'll have to be careful and help us. Can't tell anyone about this band. Keep it a closely guarded secret, or else it'll ruin our ten-year plan for obscurity that we've been devoting our lives to.

K: I'm going to make the assumption that you had televisions when you were children...

Jym, Joel, DF: Uh...

K: In your homes that you were able to watch.

Jym: Absolutely.

DF: Fair assumption.

Jym: You hit a bulls eye there.

K: Okay, what was your favorite show?

DF: Well, okay we have to start the day at 6:30 in the morning when you wake up to watch 'Jack LaLanne' which is an exercise program that was on at 6:30 every morning. After that was 'Cartoon Town' for an hour. Which was mostly Hanna Barbara cartoons and then following that was the various good morning shows which was in those days when I was a child, just people with cups of coffee, talking about the weather pretty much. Um... It sorta got more glitzy as time went on.

Joel: The pace of life was slower when Frank was a child.

DF: Yeah. And you moved on to the reruns of 'Love American Style', followed by the 'Phil Donahue Show', and then it was 'Tattle Tales', and 'Match Game '76', and the various other game shows, and finally you got into the reruns of television shows like 'Bewitched' and 'Gilligan's Island'. This would take you up to more cartoons at around 2:00pm. 3:00pm you have 'Batman', and 'Spiderman', and 'Aquaman and Marine Boy', and 'Kimba the White Lion' which would take you up to... you could keep watching cartoons up to, just up until... 'Nanny and The Professor' came on at 6:30 and then it was the 'Brady Bunch' and then it was the 'Partridge Family', and then it was bedtime. So, then your mom would tuck you into bed and then you would... you would watch 'Let's Make A Deal', which was on right after your mom made you go to bed. And 'Maniacs' which always scared the hell out of me. But, I couldn't help watching it. 'Night Gallery' also scared the living daylights out of me. But I still couldn't help it... I was drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. And, uh... Which was my favorite out of that rigorous regimen? I think that this time, this golden era that we're talking about was before I developed critical facilities. I think I enjoyed all equally, but especially 'Love American Style'. I think because it seems so adult and grown up.

Joel: Well, my childhood experience of... my love affair with television as a child was slightly different because the advent of the remote control had changed the face of television watching forever. And so I have never in my life seen a complete television program beginning to end so I couldn't tell you what my favorite is. I just watch TV for the love of television.

DF: Television technology has greatly improved, it's true.

K: Didn't you go to school?

DF: I'm talking about the days when I wasn't in school, and the days when I feigned illness to avoid going to school because I was afraid that they'd beat me up. And that actually covers quite a bit of ground. I missed a lot of school for that reason and television filled the gap. Television was my friend.

K: But, why would someone beat you up?

DF: Because they could. I was beatupable. There were few repercussions from beating me up.

Joel: Because by some cruel twist of fate we were exactly locker sized and people could not resist making the match between us and the locker.

DF: Yeah. I recall very clearly when I was uh... when I first went to high school which was ninth grade in California, I know its stupid so... ninth grade the first thing I noticed on walking onto the high school campus was the lockers were, instead of the full size teenager size lockers that I was used to being locked in, they were sort of midget size. Too small, even for me, and my first reaction was, 'Yes! No more being locked in lockers.' But then a few minutes later I realized how wrong I was for my premature rejoicing because the garbage cans were just around the comer and so I'm kinda crawling out of the garbage can going, 'I like the locker better.' But this is growing up in America. And I think it taught me to be bitter and to hate my fellow man and various important lessons like that.

Joel: Not to trust anyone.

K: Well, you seem like you were watching television an awful lot. Did you ever play with I any toys?

DF: I had some toys. Yes.

Joel: All television related.

DF: Yeah. All tie-ins. I had a Major Matt Mason and Captain Laser... I had a Puff-N- Stuff and I had... I even had the Charles Nelson Riley from Flintstones. You know they made a stuffed animal of him? Which is really a revolting thing when you think about it. I also played with other things that aren't generally considered toys. I had a hammer, and I had a box. You know, my parents weren't poor they were just cruel and they knew they could get away with giving... 'Here son is a box for Christmas' and I'd go to school and I'd realize that the other children had better toys than me. This led to the early realization that there was no Santa Clause and to my being beat up by first graders for telling them that there was no Santa Clause. You know, you haven't really experienced the depths of human existence until you've been beaten up by a bunch of first grade girls. That really shows you how bad life can be.

K: Now, please tell me you were either in first grade or kindergarten.

DF: Well, no. This was just last week.

Jym: Uh, my introduction to music began with a Quaker Oats box, which I used as a crude drum. All my toys were fashioned from crude materials at hand, such as dirt.

K: Did you eat dirt?

Jym: I didn't eat it. I made weapons out of it. Rudimentary weapons that were very ineffective against my childhood adversaries. Mud and sticks. I made pies and I made mud loafs.

Joel: Jym baked mud bread.

Jym: Yeah. I made mud bread. It was good.

DF: Stayed away from the other children as much as possible. I was in my own little world. Sitting there quietly. Brooding and hating them with every fiber of my existence. When you're in that mode, toys don't really matter too much. You're just waiting till you're old enough to acquire something with real firepower so that you can teach them a lesson they'll never forget.

K: Did you find that?

DF: I'm still looking.

K: Well, if you were consumed by your television every day and the few moments that you weren't with that you were playing with your little toys, how did you get into music? Somewhere along the line you had to have started listening to a record.

DF: Yes. For most of my childhood my favorite music was show tunes and I really didn't like rock music then very much because I associated it with my evil peers who I thought were uh...

Joel: Beneath contempt...

DF: Beneath contempt. Completely lacking in taste and it wasn't until I realized that there was a music that they didn't... rock music that they didn't like that I decided to think that there could be something to it. And that was probably around age twelve or so.

Jym: We devoted the rest of our lives to making music...

DF, Jym: That nobody likes.

DF: And providing the children of today with an easy way to rebel against their parents and society. It's very easy to confuse your parents if you listen to the Mr. T Experience. I know that I even heard some kids express directly that they are grateful for that. So, kids: It's for you. We're doin' it all for you.

Joel: The first punk rock record that I ever heard was the Mr. T Experience in 1989. I was eleven years old and it changed my entire life. I'd have to say that certainly if I had not heard that first Mr. T Experience record when I was eleven years old, my life would be completely different. And events leading up to the present would've probably... I'd probably be either dead or in jail right now if it weren't for the MTX.

DF: That was about the most uplifting that that either of us has said in an interview. Joel... I love this guy.

Joel: I have Dr. Frank to thank for my station in life. You saved me from the streets, the mean streets.

K: Anything else we should know?

Joel: You could mention that we have a new record for sale that people might... uh... people might not want to buy. Because...

DF: No. You want to buy it to help in those dreary days where you feel lost and unloved. I know they happen. What better way to celebrate the constant presence of pain and melancholy than to listen to the MTX - Love Is Dead? Songs made up by a person who is guaranteed to have been even more miserable than you.

Joel: And kids, if you buy our record our mothers can finally get those operations.

K: And which operations would those be?

Joel: They are very costly ones. And I'm sure that they're of some life threatening nature. And it's imperative that you purchase our record as quickly as possible so that...

DF: Yeah. It could be too late and all that guilt will be on your head. So, don't delay.

Joel: And who knows... it can't hurt to buy our record.

DF: What is the saying I heard? The statistic I heard? About every... about over population? Every five minutes in America, a woman gives birth to a child. And it's our duty to find her, and stop her.

Joel: Before it's too late. As we've been... as this interview has been conducted, probably at least three or four women have given birth and we're powerless to stop it.

DF: Yes. But I look at them as potential customers. And so women out there reading this magazine: Have more children. And have them fast. Because I don't know how much longer we are gonna be around to keep making the records that will destroy their childhood. So, if you hurry now, if you act now, they can still be in on this.

Joel: And in thirteen or fourteen years they'll realize... they'll come to the cruel realization that life is nothing but bitterness and misery and they'll become part of our clientele.

K: So, did that guy really come up to you in the bar and say you sounded like Green Day?

DF: Yeah. It happens with sort of distressing regularity lately. Ever since they started to become 'huge' and bigger than us. Which isn't very much of a jump really. People started to say, 'You know who you guys sound like? It's that band, I don't know if you've ever heard of them...' and so on and so forth. I remember very well the first time it happened. It was a poignant moment. It was captured on videotape actually because I was being video taped by a 'rockumentary' filmmaker and she zoomed in on my face, which was sort of looked like this: This probably won't register in over the microphone, but that was the look.

Joel: I guess in parenthetical notation, you could put "abject horror' which is just as descriptive as...

DF: Well, I would say more "surprise". I think that all bands that do this kinda sound like that because it's a... I mean, to a degree, it's certain that we're doing something a little different than they are, but in basic... you know, it's like they say that all Chinese people look alike to us and we all look alike. All Chinese people... well all punk rock bands sound alike. I don't know. You know... I have an anecdote about that, which I'm gonna decide right now to censor, so...

K: Why?

DF: I just don't think it's appropriate for family publication so... next question.

K: So… What are family values?

DF: Well, here's what I would like. Is, you know... a mom, and a dad, and some kids in a house, and a dinner with piping hot pieces of chicken with cream of mushroom soup poured on top of it, some scrambled eggs with chopped up hot dogs...

Joel: ...and ketchup...

DF: ...Gathered around the TV watching 'Little House On The Prairie', and the youngest daughter gets to make the salad dressing. And I feel that those who would disparage this are really missing the point of what life is all about. Because if I had a daughter, I would love her to pieces and I would want her to make that salad dressing. And I'd sort of tousle her hair a little bit and say, 'good work, squirt,' or whatever her nick- name was... 'half pint'... I don't know...

Joel: …'pun' kin'…

DF: …'pun' kin'…

Joel: Do you know how to spell 'pun' kin'? P-U-N-apostrophe-K-I-N, 'pun' kin'.

K: Well, I learned family values today.

DF: Yes!

Joel: Lose an anecdote; gain a dissertation on family values.

K: You think we need anything else, or you think we got it? Let's see, we learned how to spell pun' kin... we heard about the typical day in television land...

DF: You may have covered everything.

Joel: All the important things anyway.

DF: I believe so.

Joel: Unless you wanna get into like grooming tips, or something like that. Which...

K: Grooming tips? Sure!

DF: A day of good grooming starts...

Joel: ...at 6:30...

DF: ...at 6:30, when the alarm goes off. Immediately waking up should be followed by a brisk shower.

Joel: Wait! I think you got it a little backwards. First, the alarm goes off at 6:30...

DF: Stretching? Exercises? Calisthenics?

Joel: No! Realization that you have to, once again, go through the pointless exercise of living one more day on this cruel unforgivable planet.

DF: Right. Okay. That goes without saying.

Joel: Then the calisthenics.

DF: The stretching exercises: deep knee bends, sit ups, and so forth. Followed by a bracing hot shower, not too long. After which, the body is patted dry and the hair is vigorously but not too aggressively towel dried and combed into an attractive arrangement.

Joel: Fashionable.

DF: After the hair, which is the most important start of the day's grooming. Then dental hygiene. Step two: very important. Brisk brushing of the teeth in horizontal and vertical direction, front and back, not neglecting the tongue. I don't know that you girls brush your tongue, but many people do not realize that it's very important. If you keep up with this, you could spend an entire day doing nothing, but grooming. One of the most satisfying things one can do when you continue from when you wake up to when you go to bed with breaks for meals...

Joel: And then followed by more dental hygiene maintenance.

DF: Yeah. Dental hygiene after each meal. And in hair care...

K: Have we gotten dressed yet, or are we still standing in our underwear… no with our… no we patted ourselves dry, so, uh...

DF: I think the girls are... have already stepped into their bras, panties, and girdles... and the boys... the boys have stepped into their boxer shorts and their khakis. And the boys are shaving their face; the girls are shaving their legs, uh...

K: Wouldn't they do that in the shower?

DF: Um, it's an option. I just... the image of the lady in her underwear, her leg up on the sink, shaving her legs, it's just sort of got me a little bit... right now, so, I'm just... Although the shower... that's an attractive image too. All that steam is sorta getting in the way though. (Sigh) Anyway...

Joel: I digress.

(You're pizza's here)

DF: I think that's a suitable end. If we have a message for the youth of today, it's: Eat more pizza. Buy more punk rock albums!