Narrator 1: {Sup everyone, this is Marcus… I don’t know why I’m really talking to you all… or even why I’m the narrator of this fanfic… but I am… and I could care less about it… about anything really.}
It is mid summer, and in the afternoon on this day upon Balamb’s beautiful beach. The sun is high, and the rolling of the tide creates a soothing rhythmic melody, helping to add to the serenity and calmness on the air…
“What was the point of coming here in the first place?” Marcus says, donning a pair of black swimming trunks with a white towel thrown over his shoulder, crossing his arms over his chest as he walked beside a small girl in an orange colored two piece bikini.
*Scene Pauses*
Narrator: {Yeah… so that’s me, Marcus Alvarez. Don’t ask me why I’m there, or why I’m walking beside that little girl because I could care less for your petty questions, and it’d be bothersome trying to answer them. But… as you can see by the look on my face
-_-” I’d much rather be somewhere else right about…
*Camera pans in on the small girl as she gets ready to respond.*
Narrator 1: {Now. -_- }
Narrator 2: {Incase you idiots don't remember my voice, it's Karai Suki,
that's not "Suck-I" by the way. It's "Suu-key".
So there. I don't know why I’m doing this fanfic when
I could of done a cameo in Don't Kill Mill as Gogo Yubari, AKA the girl who
slashes up Millie's shoulder with a razor bladed ball on a chain. But this came
first, who knows maybe the part is still available.}
The girl who looked like she was twelve laid there with a big sun hat and dark glasses on covering up her face, she had been in the water for like a few seconds then come back because it was too cold. Sun baking would be better. It if wasn't that obvious it would seem that Karai had dragged Marcus out to the beach for the day. Why is unknown, probably because she has no friends and Marcus shares the same ‘yeah, whatever’ attitude that she does, so it would be a peaceful outing with no loudmouth people…
Narrator 1: {Hey… I don’t have friends because you threaten to eat their brains out every time I invite them over… You don’t have friends… well… because no one likes you.}
Narrator 2: {Or maybe you don't have friends because every time some girl brings up romance you go all stoic and serious and make the girl want to punch you in the face. And I have tons of friends; they just don't know it yet.}
Narrator 1: { -sigh- How come the grimness and seriousness doesn’t work on you?}
Narrator 2: {Well, because unlike those other people, I don't really care that much. So it all works out. }
Narrator 1: { -sigh- On with the story…}
Narrator 2: {There's a story? I better get paid a lot for this…}
Karai's held an empty glass of orange juice in her hand with a straw in it, she went to drink more of it but found that the glass was empty, her glasses almost fell off her face when she looked down making her push them back up as she rose the glass in the air. "Hey! I didn't come to the beach to have an empty glass of juice here, Marcus! Where are you?" she said, lifting her sun hat up and looking around. "He better not of ran off again." she said, and then looked to the left to see Dr. Hojo in a white jacket with a few girls around him.
"Cameos are great huh?" Karai asked of him.
"Superb." Hojo replied with laughter.
Marcus had gotten distracted by a girl who had been walking past them in the opposite direction, and immediately upon noticing him, she bombarded him with questions. Karai, too caught up in herself, was unaware of what was happening.
“Oh my god! You’re Marcus Alvarez!” the girl, in a simple one piece purple colored bikini asked, jumping up and down slightly as she grabbed on his arm.
Marcus did not reply, but just allowed her to touch him.
“Oh my god! You are like so hott! The way you just stand there all serious like you don’t even care about my existence so turns me on!” she said excitedly in an annoying, dumb blonde, kind of voice. She was a brunette.
“Did you hear about when I took down that Iron Giant with one blow?” Marcus asked, unenthusiastically, but interested in her response.
The brunette jumped up and down in excitement. “Like oh my god! That was my favorite!”
Marcus simply looked at her with a stoic face, slightly raising an eyebrow.
Narrator 1: {Yeah… aren’t I great?}
"So, you slice the back of the head, and then take the brain out before eating it?" Karai asked of Hojo, having a notepad in her hand, Hojo nodded slowly having past experience himself. Karai continued to talk to Hojo until she heard the voice of a ditzy girl and then in the corner of her eye she saw Marcus with this girl. Her eyes turned into small flames as she clenched her fists then ran over to the girl.
"OREEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" She yelled out and uppercutted the girl so hard and so fast that she flew up into the air. "I love youuuuuuuuu!" was heard fading away as the girl turned into a twinkling light in the sky, leaving Karai panting with the >.< face.
Marcus felt the girl’s hands suddenly yank away, and turned to see where she had gone… He had been too caught up looking at his reflection in the water to even notice what had happened… and now Karai was standing next to him, panting and in a strange position with her fist pointed up in the air.
Marcus looked around for a second, and then shrugged. “You know…” he said looking over her for a second, “you’re out of orange juice, maybe you should go and get some more.” He said, a group of girls looking on in the distance, staring at Karai, all huddled up and trembling in fear.
Karai looked up at Marcus and shook her head, she raised the glass and bonked Marcus on top of the head with it harder than she planned to, and making a large crack appear down the middle of the glass, she opened her eyes then threw the glass over her head before it broke it her hands. Some more girls screamed as they were hit by the broken glass, crying was heard soon after. Karai pointed at Marcus.
"You are supposed to get the juice. Not me, I thought that was where you were going, not standing there talking to airheads." she said then walked back towards the beach with her umbrella, eyeing every girl in sight with an evil glare before she sat down on a towel underneath the giant umbrella.
Marcus raised an eyebrow at this and rubbed his head a little bit muttering and cursing under his breath all the while as he followed in her footsteps. When he sat down he sat down on Karai’s towel, in between her legs, his back to her. He’d rather sit on hers, and spare his from getting sand on it…
“I wasn’t even talking to her, she was talking to me,
besides- How am I supposed to know it was an airhead? All girls look like
airheads to
Karai noted the point and nodded slowly, looking off to the side. "Must have been why she flew so high, all that air was expelled from her ears or something." She said, then looked to see that Marcus was so close, she felt a bit awkward in this position so she brought her legs back then stood up and moved to a point where she was sitting next to him, she was half on the sand and half on the towel now though.
"Nggh... move over." She said, not even looking up at him, she nudged him though, with her fist.
Narrator 1: {Prude.}
Narrator 2: {What the hell does that mean?}
*Narrator 1 flips through a dictionary for a few moments.*
Narrator 1: {Nevermind… not the word I was looking for.}
Quistis sighs as she bows her head down, shaking it as she stands next to the large camera filming the whole segment 10 meters away from the stage, wondering how the hell she got fired from directing Don’t Kill Mill and ended up with these jokes…
Director: "Cut! Start again. -.- Damn amateurs."
Marcus cocked an eyebrow with a disappointed look; he had felt comfortable… now he was going to have to move. “How come you’re so friggin shy?” he asked, looking at her with a quirked eyebrow.
Karai fidgeted a bit and shrugged, crossing her arms across her chest, looking at the other girls on the beach, they were all more developed then her, even though she could thrash them all, she sort of wished she looked like them, it wasn't jealously though because she knew if she did look like them she'd have to resort to sticking her finger down her throat everyday.
"Just don't talk to other girls, makes me wanna hurt people." she said, narrowing her eyes as she sat next to him.
Director: {And I could of directed the FF7 Advent Children movie... what the hell was I thinking? -twitch- }
Marcus shrugged a bit and looked out into the ocean in a sexy, godlike pose, his chin sticking out, his face with no expression, and his hair blowing in the wind like the way it did for all hot movie stars on the beach. “That has to suck, having a hot-“
Narrator 1: {BOYFRIEND!? What the hell, this isn’t supposed to be in the script! What the hell is this?!}
Narrator 2: {I dunno, who the hell is writing this crap and when is the part when we fight all those ninjas all cool back to the back style? I want my agent!}
Karai smirked and looked out to the sky in the same direction that Marcus was looking, except her eyes were moving around very fast to see if any girls were looking too, but there was none. Marcus was only for her; she finally wrapped both her arms around him from the side and rested her head on his shoulder, smiling as the sun began to set.
Then suddenly... from out of nowhere... NINJAS WERE JUST EVERYWHERE ON THE BEACH!
Narrator 1: {Hold up, I was told that I was going to be in a hot love-making scene on the beach. Where the hell is my agent!?}
These ninjas weren’t real ninjas… oh no… by far, because Marcus and Karai knew what a real ninja looked like. These ninjas wore black hooding that came equipped with a mask to cover their mouths and everything. They had all black on, and waved about katanas and nunchakus and wielded shurikens and looked pretty much like real ninjas… These were definitely not real ninjas.
Marcus looked around from side to side and quickly rose to his feet, a stern look on his face. The wind blew, making his hair wave about in the sexiest way possible as his body tensed up, showing off his legendary like physique.
Narrator 1: {I am so friggin hott…}
He points out a finger to the closest ninja. Time continues to go on as if it was actually meant to go by in slow motion like in all the other cool movies. Like in DBZ when it takes two episodes of talking and staredowns and slow motion activity and cool music and narrating before the fight actually began. Yeah, it was just like that except… it wasn’t in slow motion, there wasn’t any music, and the narrators had just went on a ‘bathroom break’ trying to call their agents who signed them up for this damn script… Marcus had just forgotten his next line…
“Who are you guys?” Marcus finally asked, and then put his hand down and balled it into a fist.
The head Ninja, being the Ninja at the front of all the head ninjas moved forwards slowly and moved really fast swiping his sword through the air before throwing shurikens all over the beach so fast that it couldn't even be seen, after all the shurikens were thrown the Ninja landed on the ground in a crouched position and everyone except Karai and Marcus fell down…
"We are the Ninjas From The South Sea. This beach has been ours and every day people come and desecrate our land with this foolishness. It is time for you to die! Ninjas! Super Secret Stealth Technique Five!" He stated, and then all the Ninjas became invisible.
Karai stood back to back with Marcus in a cool kung fu fighting pose in her bikini. "Damn... they're real ninjas. Not like the ones you see in the movies."
Marcus, back to back with Karai, looks around to see the ninjas are all gone, since he had been distracted by the way his body looked in the light of the setting sun, he was totally oblivious to what was going on.
‘It seems they all ran off… more than likely do to my awesomeness…’ He thought in his head as he stood out of fighting position and put his hands on his hip and began to shake his head in approval. ‘Ok, now time for the hot love making scene I took this job up for.’
He then turned around and looked at Karai with the most sexist look he could give her- the expressionless face along with the quirked eyebrow. “Now,” he began, taking a step towards her, allowing her to see his greatness as he stood there with his hands on his hips, “we can go to the climax.”
Narrator 2: {What the! No agent told me of this! @.@!!}
Karai shook her head, moving her hands up while looking away. "Not in a thousand years... It's just what they want us to think... they are probably approaching now with their ninja techniques as we speak!" She said, then saw the look on Marcus face before she twitched and kneed him in the groin as hard as she could, then looked down at him sprawling on the sand as she blushed and panted.
"Attack!" was heard as the Head Ninja, who could fly, appeared there in the sky and all the other Ninjas soon appeared too.
Narrator 2: {Ah crap... this is the scene where I fight them
all... IN A
Millie (The Writer): Yo! n.n
Narrator 2: {Why me... -.-;}
Narrator 1: {Wait a second… where the hell is the sex scene?! Why the hell am I on the ground grabbing my crotch? Why the hell are those wanna be ninjas flying? Where the hell is my agent? Where in god’s name is is my cappuccino? Where are my fans? Why am I still grabbing my crotch? Furthermore, where is my god damn sex scene I signed up for?}
Narrator 2: { There's no sex scene in this, I read the script and unless there's been some changes the closest thing to that is my Bikini fight scene where they randomly do close-ups of my flat chest and lower body with water splashing up on me. The ninjas can fly because they're real ninjas. I had your fans disposed of and you’re holding your crotch to avoid your testicles falling out.}
Narrator 1: {What the hell? What is this damn thing's title anyhow?} *flips to the cover page of the script*
Narrator 2: {The name is, Super Happy Fun Day On The Beach! (With Boobs) … … … Ooookay…}
Will Karai survive the fight alone against the Ninjas while she is only in her bikini, will Marcus ever get up from being kicked in the groin? Will this Fanfic ever go anywhere? Find out next time on Super Happy Fun Day On The Beach! (With Boobs)
Narrator 1: {Wait one got damn cotton pickin
minute… … … … Where the hell are the boobs?!}