Fucking Libra
Fucking uhh Taurus, born in 1775
I'm like 300 and something, but I'm still alive
I used to hang with the original, Billy the Kid
You probably think I'm only playing, but I did
My daddy's were a 2 headed freak show
Momma, a fortune teller, Esmeralda Zeller
Anyway, they had sex on a Ouija board
And I was born the next day
Violent J
When I was 14 I tripped on the train track
And I was crushed right there, on the steel rack
I'm out cold, they thought it had fucked me up
I got up and itched my butt, I'm like, what?
Everybody tripped and called me the clown devil boy
Child of the Witch heffer, whatever
Tied me up, burned me, and threw stones
Had a few scrapes and cuts
Smokey Nuts
After that they started bowing and shit
Praying to me, you know how them primatives get
I said get off my dick I ain't a savior
I'm what ya call a juggalo, and all I want is my flavor
4 simple things in this bitch before I die
(Chorus)
I want a rusty axe!
I wanna know voodoo!
A fat bitch named Bridget!
And a little sip of Faygo, too
Till I get my shit in this motherfucker
I will neva DIE!
Aww hell yeah, so anyway
50 years passed all my homies are old ass fucks
I ain't even got hair on my nuts
I left the village in search of my ends, I wrestled alligators
Battled terminators
Nothing ever killed me, nothing could harm me
I fought in the Civil War, Yankees army
I walked across enemy lines with a Mack 10
Man they didn't even have that shit back then
How you just gonna come in my shit and fuck it up?
Well at least make this shit sound real man, damn!
I walked acrossed enemy lines with a lantern
Steady taking cannon balls
To the balls
The war ended, I traveled the country horse back
Untill this fool tried to horse jack
He put his gat to my head and blew my face up
It didn't even smear the makeup
I took his gun a put a divot in his neck
Sherriff didn't like it
I got indicted
87 long years in the state pen
Until they finally forgot why they put me in
They had to let me go, can't hold me on nothing
On they way out they like "Yo, ain't you like a hundred and something?"
I said "Yeah that's right, and I ain't gonna die till I get my shit motherfucker"
(Chorus)
I want a rusty axe!
I wanna know voodoo!
A fat bitch named Bridget!
Just a little sip or two
Till I get my shit in this motherfucker
I will neva DIE!
Hahaha whoo hoo, yeah
I slept under bridges, lived in the valleys
I climbed up mountains, searched the alleys
More years passed and I still ain't died
Now I'm in Detroit on the Southwest side
My homie has an Impala blue '67
Last night we hit the road pushing 111
I stuck my head out the window told them floor it the most
And let my nugget ping off a light post
Hahaha hell yeah, cause, hurts a little bit but then ya get a straight buzz
The world hates me cause of shit like this
They always try and kill me but, MISS!
I know it's odd cause my face is forever painted
When I was born the bitch ass doctor fainted
My tongues a little long I choke people with it
Looks kinda nasty, but chicks dig it
And I told ya my neck can strech for miles
I sorta look like something from the X-Files
People wanna see me die more than a little bit
But I'm a juggalo, and as a juggalo I want my SHIT
And I ain't gonna die till I get it!!!!
(Chorus)
I want a rusty axe!
I wanna know voodoo!
A fat bitch named Bridget!
I said Faygo FUCK Mountain Dew!
Till I get my shit in this motherfucka
I will neva Die!
Die!
Die!