| Via Dolorosa - He Came, He Gave, He Lives! |
| What began looking like any other typical Friday would prove to be anything but. In the distance I heard a crowd, swirling about, voices shouting and chanting. I awoke to that and quickly went out into the street to see what was taking place. A man, I recognized him! Bleeding, stumbling, carrying a wooden beam. I knew the sight all too well. I'd seen it before! My mouth must have hit the ground as I looked at him closer and He momentarily met my gaze. He stopped and just looked at me as if to say, "I love you and this is for you." I had to look down. I had to break the connection as my heart within sank, knowing His fate. I followed the crowd, racing to maintain a view of this man who'd done nothing but love, love all of us regardless of who we were. My heart raced as this crowd stopped up top of the hill. I watched as these brutal, seemingly unfeeling soldiers stripped him of his clothing and began their process. One spike, about 8 inches in length, the crack of the hammer. I saw it and I heard it as blood splattered in every direction. He cried out and I began to cry. They continued. Both arms and both feet, He screamed. He continued, "Daddy, they don't know. They don't know." I found myself on the ground crying out to God. These tears just flowed and the soil below me was wet. I somehow felt this pain, I wanted to help Him but there was nothing anyone could do. I couldn't understand the reasons why He hung on that cross for hours erected high above us as the soldiers spit and joked and tormented Him. He spoke very little and began to struggle to breathe. I watched through my tears as His struggle to breathe became greater. Suddenly the skies broke open like nothing I'd ever seen before. The sun had disappeared and it was dark as night. I moved closer to Him as the soldiers' attention seemed to dull. As if to follow right along with heaven's driving tears and cries, He cried out. No one moved, no one spoke, no one blinked, no one breathed..."It is Accomplished!" I knew my crying was now sobbing. I knew I was audible but somehow I didn't care. I couldn't take my eyes off of Him as I watched His body fail to take another breath. It indeed was finished. I saw His mother, she was at His feet beheld by John. I wanted to reach out but as they began to take His body down, it was too much. I ran and hid. I spent the next 36 hours in my own personal hell. I wanted to know why. I missed Him though I'd not truly known Him well. I'd never accepted or befriended Him. But the emptiness that left me alone in this darkness was too much to bear. I considered what I'd do and had no answers. I fell asleep in my exhuastion. I had cried myself to sleep. I awoke to a sound I could not describe. It was a deep sound as if there was something not of this world moving, coming closer. Not wind but almost a moan. It was still dark but I could tell that the sun was ready to break the horizon. As I began to focus in my first glances, a light broke through as if spreading from the darkest of corners to the center of the room right infront of me. I shielded my eyes in both fear and pain of the brightness. The noise stopped. All was silent but from beyond the cracks between my fingers, I could see the presence. Who was with me in that room? A hand took my own in theirs, softly and slowly as a comforting voice came forth from this presence. "Open your eyes." I did so, slowly, as my body continued to tremble. I looked and there He was. He was holding me. He was looking almost through me as if to see my very soul. He saw my tears begin to flow once again. "My Lord...I...". "Shhhh, I know, My Child. I know." And with that He reached out and held me as I had never been held. I cried to Him from all that was within me. Suddenly I knew why He had come. I knew why He had given His life only 2 days earlier. I knew at that moment somehow, that He would never leave me and it was a peace within me that I continue to be unable to explain. The emptiness had gone. The tears that flowed now were of joy and release as the hands of Jesus wrapped around my heart, my body and my life. He'd come for me. He'd given....for me. He'd lost His life out of love for me. I could not cling tight enough to Him as we sat in that room. I began to drift into a restful sleep in the arms of Jesus as I whispered in a fading voice, "Thank you My Lord...I love you...". Copyright NJM 4-18-03 Written and completed at 3 pm EDT |
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