How
To Cook A Husband
A
good many husbands are spoiled
by mismanagement. Some women go
about as if their husbands were
bladders, and blow them up;
others keep them constantly in
hot water, others let them freeze
by their carelessness and
indifference. Some keep them in
a stew by irritating ways and
words, others roast them, and
some keep them as a pickle all
their lives.
It
cannot be supposed that any
husband will be tender and good
when managed in these ways, but
they are really delicious when
properly treated.
In
selecting a husband you should
not be guided by their silvery
appearance, as in buying a
mackerel; nor by the golden
tint, as if you wanted a salmon.
Be
sure and select him yourself, as
tastes differ.
Do
not go to the market for him as
the best is always brought to
your door. It is far better to
have none unless you will
patiently learn how to cook him.
A
preserving kettle of the finest
porcelain is best, but if you
have nothing better than an
earthenware it will do with
care.
See
that the linen in which you wrap
him is nicely washed and mended
with the required number of
buttons tightly sewed on. Tie
him in the kettle by a strong
silken cord called
"comfort" as the one
called "duty" is apt
to be weak.
Make
a steady fire out of love,
neatness and cheerfulness. Set
him as near as seems to agree
with him. If he sputters and
fizzles do not be anxious; some
husband do this until quite
done.
Add
a little sugar in the form of
what the confectioners call
kissed, but no vinegar or pepper
on any account. A little spice
improves him, but must be used
with judgment. Do not stick any
sharp instrument in him to see
if he is becoming tender. Stir
him gently now and then. You
cannot fail to know when he is
done. If thus treated you will
find him very relishable,
agreeing nicely with you and the
children, and he will keep as
long as you want, unless you
become careless and set him in
too cool a place.
~Author
Unknown~
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