Siamese Human Knot Transcript

A Transcript of the Siamese Human Knot scenes

Click on underlined dialogue to hear it from the soundtrack

Narrator - Following the portable Bat-computer's lead, the Terrific Trio drop in on the warehouse of Dropstitch and Company, manufacturers of fine knitting needles; but who has the drop on whom?

Nora Clavicle: "Don't make a move, Batgirl! Nor you either, Dynamic Duo."
Robin: "Holy knit one, purl two!"








Nora Clavicle: "Exactly, Boy Wonder. This needle is razor sharp, and can puncture her jugular vein in an instant.













All right, girls! Let's tie the Terrific Trio into Terrific Siamese Human Knots!"













Nora Clavicle: "You are wise to stay motionless or you will be the Terminated Trio. The slightest move by any one of you will only draw the Human Knot tighter, crush your bones and . . . strangle you!"











Robin: "Holy hamstrings!"
Batman: "Exactly, Robin. This is torture, at its most bizarre and terrible."















Batman: "I understand your desire to checkmate us, Miss Clavicle . . .
Nora Clavicle: "Commissioner Clavicle, Batman."


















Batman: "But I strongly suspect there's more to your scheme than just . . . tying us in a Siamese Human Knot."






Nora Clavicle: "Very observant, Batman . . .and you're right. There is more. Much more. As soon as night falls, I'm planning to destroy all of Gotham City!"








Batgirl: "All of Gotham City?"
Robin: "Why?"











Nora Clavicle: "Do you know what this document is, Batman?"
Batman: "If I dared move my head, I might recognize it, but I daren't."
Nora Clavicle: "It's an insurance policy on Gotham City."









Robin: "Holy underwritten metropolis!"










Nora Clavicle: "Exactly, Boy Bow-knot. I've insured Gotham City for ten million dollars and what do you think it cost me?"
Batman: "Two hundred dollars, perhaps?"
Batgirl: "Two hundred dollars! for a ten million dollar policy?"
Batman: "Yes, Batgirl, because the risk is so low. The chances of destroying an entire city are infinitesimal."
Nora Clavicle: "Right again, Batman. But Gotham City will be destroyed . . . I'll collect the ten million . . . and there won't be any witnesses around to make trouble.





Oh, you'll find it completely impossible to ever get out of that human knot
.











. . but it will all be over . . . soon.
Come on, Evelina. Angelina should be outside with the truck by now.





Don't . . . move."
















Robin: "Do we dare breathe, Batman?"













Batman: "Cautiously, Robin, cautiously. Talking has been dangerous enough. A deep breath might prove fatal."


Batgirl: "I can't stand this much longer, Batman. I'm getting terrible cramps in my legs!"
Batman: "Good!"
Robin: "Good!? Terrible cramps?!"






Batman: "Exactly, Robin. The involuntary muscular contractions in Batgirl's legs may indirectly relieve the tension in your lower lumbar region."














Robin: "Holy slipped disc!"











Batman: "Not . . . quite . . . Robin. If . . .I . . . can wiggle my ears . . .and if you are able to . . . bend the fourth finger on your left hand, just a fraction of an inch . . ."








Batgirl: "He might strangle us all!"











Batman: "Release us, Batgirl. It's the basic formula for escaping from the Siamese Human Knot. I just recalled it. . . Ready. . . Ready, Robin?"
Robin: "Ready."
Batman: "I'm beginning to wiggle my ears under my cowl."
Robin: "All right. I'm releasing my fourth finger."
Batman: "I'm wiggling."
Robin: "I've got it."






(---Here you can clearly see Robin saying, "We're free!"---but it is not on the soundtrack.)













Robin: "Gosh, Batman! What a simple way to get out of a Siamese Human Knot."












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