Dear Kathy,
My mistress is leaving me for a younger man. She's twenty-seven, I'm forty-seven, and this other punk is twenty-nine. The irony is that I was just about to divorce my wife and three kids over this bitch, but now I'm stuck in the mud without a shovel. Should I try to win her back, or pull the brake line on this punk's car?
Dear "Herman",
Um, not that I want to take sides or anything, for fear of my life, but here's a thought. Perhaps you should reunite with your wife, and pretend like nothing ever happened. How's the old song go-We Don't Need Another Lolita... or maybe the song is We Don't Need Another Hero? My advice is to just go home to the wife and kids like any 'ol normal, cheating husband would do in your situation. Trust me. But for now, stuff the fluff in the cobwebs of your memory, and move ON. Gosh I feel jittery all of the sudden. Maybe too much coffee? Anyone got an asprin? A sleeping pill?