Top Ten Reasons Why Lana Is Still A Virgin - LucyWiggin
Extra: Because her heart belongs to but one man - Lex Luthor - and he's too busy corrupting Clark, hitting on reporter/masseuses and driving around in his fast car to care. - suzycat
Top Ten Things Martha's Found under Clark's Bed (she only goes in his room to pick up his laundry...honest) - Ophie5
Extra: Blueprints to a Cow-Feeding Machine. - outside the box
Top Ten Activities We'd Like to See Clark and Lex Engage in Together Onscreen (which the stupid no-gaydar censors will let through) - suzycat
Lex's Top Ten Websearches - wileykit666
Extra:Magnificent + Bastard - Gnosis
Top Ten Superpowers That Suck (in the bad way) - slodwick
Extra: Crappy CGI Deer Crossing - ld
Top Ten Things Bruce Wayne Will Do When He Finally Comes to Smallville - Justin Cognito
Top Ten Non-Human Things That Give Clark a Super-Woody - marysia
Top Ten Ways To Show Lex You Lurve Him - Bulletproof Monk
Top Ten Things On Lex's 'To Do' List - anotherguitarchick
10. Because her "soul mate" keeps spending all his spare time in bed with that bald guy - suzycat
9. "Blah blah blah parentcakes." - Kimiko
8. Her meteor rock necklace has kept her libido from normal development, and Lana is at the same level of sexual awareness as a 6 year old. - disbelief
7. The boys of Smallville are scared off by the excessive use of makeup. - misty130
6. Because every time she gets close to someone, she sees her reflection in their eyes and all thoughts of lovin' flee her head, to be replaced by, "Oh, I'm so pretty! So very, very, pretty...." - wileykit666
5. Lana feels that its just not right to give up your flower before menopause. - Bulletproof Monk
4. She's been put off by the fact that the hottest guys in Smallville all wear as much makeup as she does. - suzycat
3. She's so pretty because she's really an angel and has no genitalia (see Dogma) - marysia
2. Because she really was Whitney's beard and Clark likes Lex. - Elrond50
1. Because she's waiting for Chloe to stop liking the icky boys and realize she's really meant to be with Lana. - Ophie5
10. Hot Baldies magazine. - suzycat
9. Rumpled lavender dress shirts. - Starcat
8. A half empty box of condoms and lube. - Elrond50
7. Leather and *certain* toys and outfits he should have left at Lex's, all cleary marked "property of Lex" - BlueFroggy
6. His foil, of course. (Lex likes it under there. He loves even Clark's dust bunnies.) - suzycat
5. Ticket stubs to the touring production of "Angels In America." - firestarter
4. His Diary (as trancribed by kstanley) - Tresca
3. "The Joy of Gay Sex." Can't have a Clark list without that! - wileykit666
2. A copy of the "Kama Sutra" he printed out in the Torch office. - AmandaFM25
1. PICTURES (The ones he has been sending like clockwork to Ms Anvil). - raeblackman
10. Kiss...oh wait they did that already - raeblackman
9. Lex on his hands and knees while Clark comes up behind him. Wait a minute, they already did that too. - Lexual Healing
8. Have Lex gaze at Clark's crotch whilst fondling a...No, wait. That's no good either. - wileykit666
7. Lex taking a cold shower with Clark in the room next door staring at the wall. Oh, sorry I mean admiring the decor. - raeblackman
6. Graeco-Roman wrestling. It's soo manly. Clark would of course have to hold back quite a lot. - suzycat
5. Naked pool. Naked fencing. Naked THE ART OF WAR. Frolicking in Lex's sauna. NAKED. And then they could feed each other lollipops. - madmouth
4. Playing Tomb Raider on Lex's playstation while sitting very very closely together and fawning all over each other while pretending to perve on Lara Croft. - suzycat
3. Have them somehow end up on the ground, panting and staring at each other like they're going to kiss ala "Buffy's" Willow and Tara at the end of "Tabula Rasa" - joyfulgirl41
2. Have Lex not leave the loft, or Clark not leave the Castle, after a conversation which ends with them staring at each other. Hold on! They've done that. - JenHall
1. Get Clark tied up, mostly nekkid, sweaty and helpless, while Lex stands with his head level to Clark's crotch. No, that's not right either... - wileykit666
10. "farmboy + organic + cucumbers" - Tresca
9. Armadillo - Cyb
8. Alexander the Great + breastplate - Tresca
7. Unearthly strength + meteor rocks + astonishing physical perfection + very little brain - suzycat
6. Ty Nant - AlejandraDD
5. kill + fairy + princess + die - Tresca
4. How To Make It Stop Burning...yeah...think dirty people - steptacular
3. meteor + rocks - Thayli
2. Kansas + Age of Consent - Thayli
1. Baldness + cures - parental intervention - suzycat
10. The ability to communicate with tapeworms. - Brooding_Soul
Top Ten Unusual Street Signs in Smallville - Brooding_Soul
9. KK's ability to super-suck all the interestingness out of a scene. - AmandaFM25
8. Super-diarrhea! - Bulletproof Monk
7. The ability to look like Donatella Versace. - Brooding_Soul
6. The ability to come up with a platitude for every occasion. SuperPlatitudeMan! - JenHall
5. The ability to jazzercise really, really well. - Brooding_Soul
4. The ability to transform into airplane glue - Bulletproof Monk
3. The ability to trip over air - PunPunPun
2. The power to tangle hair. - Starcat
1. The ability to snore really, really loud. - Brooding_Soul
10. Anvil Ave. - AmandaFM25
9. Kryptovillain road. - AlejandraDD
8. Drive Fast: Langs At Play - Brooding_Soul
7. Mutant Crossing - PunPunPun
6. Cheese Lane - Tresca
5. WARNING: Falling Anvils, Cheese, and Plot Rocks. - Justin Cognito
4. HoYay Way - Fleegull
3. Luthorville Way - Elrond50
2. The Lang Memorial Pothole - Bulletproof Monk
1. Caution: Cows feeding themselves (But with one of those red "no" circle and lines through it...because we all know they DON'T feed themselves). - wordnerd
10. Listen to Lana, and think to himself, "Goddamnit! Even I know when to shut up about my dead parents!" - Justin Cognito
9. Lex - Honoria
8. Stock up on his organic cucumbers, and other phallic veggies. - slodwick
7. Will be saved by the Clarkbar. (Including the mouth to mouth thingie) - LucyWiggin
6. Ask Lex how he can get his own younger lover. You know, from another mogul's point of view. And without money bribes. - venusboi79
5. Show Bo the finer points of building a hiding place. Like using a cave. And having a cool butler. And not hiding the object under only a tarp. - anotherguitarchick
4. Try to convince Clark of the value of a form-fitted costume, including mask and cape. - slodwick
3. Seek out a sidekick. Pete, we're looking at you. And Bruce is looking at your butt. - suzycat
2. Ask Lex where he buys his purple shirts. - wordnerd
1. Try and take over LuthorCorp while Lionel is indisposed and get his ass kicked by Lex - marysia
10. Pink eyeshadow - suzycat
9. Yay! Pie! - slodwick
8. Lex. What?! You don't really think Lex is human, do you?! No, no, no!! He's an alien from the planet Sexy!! In fact he's the Ruler, sent to enslave millions of willing human subjects - and one beautiful boy from the planet Krypton!! :D - Scarlett007
7. Cheetos - slodwick
6. Warrior Angel Comics - Tresca
5. An all you can eat buffet - Elrond50
4. Flannel - mrslexluthor
3. Peas.(Cos that whole "he hates them" thingy was just a cover.) - Honoria
2. Tractors - suzycat
1. Cows (it may not be genetic, but he is his father's son) - Gnosis
10. Wear purple or grey and lick his beautiful bald head. - mrslexluthor
9. Bite his scars - suzycat
8. Let him borrow your black pumps when he asks, even though you know he looks better in flats. - Swa
7. Not let him get smacked around in an episode (in the bad way, I mean). - anotherguitarchick
6. Just grab him and tear his clothes off. Although the Talon would not be the ideal venue. - suzycat
5. Bring him REALLY good blackmail material on Lionel for free. (Or in Clark's case a non-monetary fee.) - Elrond50
4. Gift wrap Clark - Brooding_Soul
3. Yay! Pie! - slodwick
2. Hang around on the highway in bad imitation D&G on the offchance he will pass by and get to perve at your legs. - suzycat
1. Give him any sort of artifact that once belonged to a historical leader, especially those who conquered the world before the age of 30. - disbelief
10. Buy pie. - slodwick
9. Invite Clark round to share pie. - suzycat
8. Keep chocolate bar in pocket of tightest slacks. - slodwick
7. Conquer world. - suzycat
6. Have gusset of his own pants reinforced before he watches Clark eat aforesaid chocolate bar. - disbelief
5. Head massage - Tall Poppy
4. Get full body massage from whoever happens to stop by mansion. - suzycat
3. Pick up his copy of Powder on DVD. - slodwick
2. Ensure law passed to allow same-sex partners in the White House. - suzycat
1. Have the pool table refelted. ("Tsk tsk, Clark") - justjoan
