List Top Ten Things the MB Would Say after Finding the Clex in Bed Together - Cynthia187
Top Ten Things Lana Will Say When She Realizes She Loves Clark. - Starcat
Top Ten Reasons Clark Would Start a Gay Brothel - madmouth
Extra: So Clark can help the Talon's business by offering FREE BUGGERY WITH EVERY CUPPA - mrslexluthor
Top Ten Fun New Phrases We Learned from TWoP That Never. Got. Old. - mrslexluthor
Extra: "I will NOT be a slave to the 'Dillo'" - joyfulgirl41
Top Ten Ways Clark Will Seduce Whitney Back to Smallville - Clari Clyde
Top Ten Reasons Lana Would Turn Evil and Become the New AntiHero - madmouth
Ten Explanations of TWoP In-Jokes You Imagine Yourself Giving to Smallville Cast Members - suzycat
Top Ten Excuses Given to Your Family for Drooling/Squealing/Shouting/Fainting during Smallville - mrslexluthor
Top Ten Rejected References to Greek Mythology on Smallville - Miss Windy
Top Ten Exploits for Dr. Toby Feelgood Since He Last Saw Lex - slodwick
10. Son this isn't exactly what I meant when I said we could learn a lot from the Greeks. - firestarter
9. Clark I said milk the COWS - greenman
8. You've seen the pictures of Victoria and I, so don't act shocked when I get to the Farmboy, too. - Miss Windy
7. Again? - Funky Chicken of Death
6. Like Father, like son. Send my regards to Jonathan. - AlejandraDD
5. "Lex! Oh... oh my God! I'm, I'm shocked! This is terrible... How could you... um... mind if I join in?" - wordnerd
4. The produce delivery boy??? ... So. HOW does he DELIVER? - Clari Clyde
3. "Just let me get this cassette out of the hidden camera and I'll be on my way." - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
2. Wow...er, damn! What are they feeding him over there? Boys were NOT hung like that at 16 when I was growing up. - madmouth
1. Is this a PLOY to get my atTENtion? Well done. It worked. - edie22
10. The same thing she does when anything else happens: nothing. - Brooding_Soul
9. Would it help if I shaved my head? - DCookKC
8. At last, someone I can love who hasn't been squished by a meteor! (Spoken with a blank look on her face, of course.) - disbelief
7. Pay attention to ME. - BlueFroggy
6. Tell him something about her parents. - Brooding_Soul
5. I love you, Clark. By default. You're the one who's, you know, here. ::: smiles widely and blankly::: - Miss Windy
4. Now that we're dating (I know, folks, but you KNOW TPTB are gonna do it at some point... blahblahsoulcakes), you should wear this **hold out necklace**... hey, where'd he go? - Lyonside
3. I know that I'm not bald, rich, nor do I have a penis, but I know that I can make you happy, Clark. Or at the very least, I won't leave you passed out beneath a table at Club Zero. I'm no Lex, but my love is strong and true and it doesn't include roofies. - Bulletproof Monk
2. "I'm preternaturally prettier than Chloe, Whitney and Lex combined! Clark, look. Look at ME!" - Clari Clyde
1. "Clark..." and then she'd move her eyebrows up and down soulfully, twitch those upper lips into a dilating smile, shiny with lip gloss and vacuousness, scrunch up her tiny nose and twinkle her eyes in various ways for about 5 minutes. Like a baby seal - madmouth
10. Because gay prostitutes don't just house themselves. - Bulletproof Monk
9. Because while Chloe thinks he should be a journalist, Clark values Lex's opinions more. - outside the box
8. As a plot to lure the latest Krypto-Freak away from Lana...at least that's what he told Bo. - Lyonside
7. Because the allowance Lex gives him barely keeps flannel on his back. Really! - DCookKC
6. Because there are a lot of men with *ahem* specialist needs in Smallville and Enrique can only do so much. - suzycat
5. "....And, boys just want to have fun". And it makes Lex very jealous....and Lex's gifts even more expensive, ...heh, heh, heh. - TGC-64
4. Well, as Bo always says, if you're going to start a business, start with what you know. - Miss Windy
3. Because that barn is a perfect location. And open for business 24-7 - elvichar
2. In case Whitney comes back to town...hey, I have a feeling about that boy.... - mrslexluthor
1. Because all those chemical spills have shot organic farming to buggery. - suzycat
10. What? Lana's parents? The Langs? Dead? SAY IT ISN'T SO! How? Why didn't I know this?! - mrslexluthor
9. Yay!Pie - BlueFroggy
8. Shut. It. Bo. - Lyonside
7. Those cows aren't going to feed themselves. - Starcat
6. Shut up and blow me. - suzycat
5. Act, damn you, act. Three guesses as to whom I'm talking about - Lexual Healing
4. You know that hunky farmboy with the abnormal abilities? Well, I think he and the sexy bald guy might have this thing.… - Grey Roses
3. Alexander the FABulous - ZigStar
2. IHOP - ZigStar
1. Omar is the boss of us. - birdysj
10. "I'll make sure you won't have to deal with Lana anymore. Actually, I'll make sure we won't have to deal with Lana anymore." - Clari Clyde
9. "I have poppers." - suzycat
8. As a favor to me Lex got you a new bright red truck. - DantesFire
7. I'll let you tie me up again - Funky Chicken of Death
6. Buggery! - Jackbugger
5. Clark Kent isn't called "Vacuum Lips" for nothing. And Whitney knows this. - Bulletproof Monk
4. Inform him Lex has finally consented to that threesome they were discussing. Handcuffs, TyNant, Mom's organic apple pie and all. - suzycat
3. "I'll let you dress up in a football uniform any time, sailor." - Miss Windy
2. "Hey, it's me...how are you?...good...I'm fine, yeah...well, it's really hot here, but other than that I guess I'm okay...well, Lex's butler, Enrique...oh, you've met?...well, anyway, he lent me these shorts he has, so I don't get overheated when I work in the fields...shirt? Why would I wear a shirt?...no, I-" Sees Whitney in doorway. "Damn, that was fast." - wileykit666
1. Clark: "Take me!" Whitney: "Okay." - Justin Cognito
10. She runs out of pink eyeshadow!!!!! (it's the end of the world!!!!!!) - AlejandraDD
9. The meteor rock chain finally gives her The Voice, so that everyone w/in hearing range has to listen to whatever she says.... Oh, the HUMANITY! - Lyonside
8. In a world of cuddley!Clex someone has to be the bad guy. - DCookKC
7. Turning into a big bad was the only way to steal Clark's attention from Lex. - Clari Clyde
6. So that someone would put her out of her misery and help her join her parents. - Clari Clyde
5. While eating pancakes at the local IHOP, she accidentally ingests her own parents. Doh! - Bulletproof Monk
4. TPTB finally give up on the acting lessons and give Pete all of her lines. - adellyna
3. While inside the tornado, she and the Wicked Witch of the East are fused into one person! Quick - throw that water in her face!! - DCookKC
2. Her face is horribly scarred and she cannot deal with no longer being preternatural, so she looses her mind (wait, was there a brain in there to begin with?) and makes it her mission to destroy everything in Smallville that is pretty. - ZigStar
1. In a freak accident, Lana grows a spine. - suzycat
10. "Well, um *blush*, you see, apparently one day someone was talking about a particular shot, and, um, they said *furious blush* that it looked like Lex had an armadillo in his pants *blushing to the power of infinity* and well, um, it just took off from there, really. God, I'm so embarrassed. Will you marry me?" - suzycat
9. The PHOC award? Well, you know that thing you do, with the bottle? Yeah...that's it...mnnnnghhh...will you marry me? - wileykit666
8. It's nothing personal. It's just that everybody hates your character and wants her to die. - suzycat
7. As far as I know, it refers to an actual armadillo. Can I say it with a straight face? Sure. Maybe. - Jackbugger
6. Well. Pie's good, you know? - DCookKC
5. Yes, but do you have to wear them with the boots? - wileykit666
4. No, no, we like marsupials! It's just that they don't really live in Kansas. Not even duck-billed ones. Sorry. - justjoan
3. Oh come ON! You're looking right at it! - wileykit666
2. It's not that we're being insensitive to having one's parents killed by meteors in front of one, I'm sure it's a horrible way to die (quick, though), it's just that, you know, your character talks about her flat, lifeless parents all the time, so we're de-sensitized to the concept. - ZigStar
1. Sexy Lexy. Well...you play Lex...Lexy is not far from Lex...and you are personally rilly sexy...so.... - mrslexluthor
10. "Uh...uh...there's...there's a cockroach on the screen! No, it's gone now! Quick, go find it and squish it! Roaches are evil! Don't come back until your mission is completed!" When alone: "Aahhh, Clex!" - ZigStar
9. "Oh. My. God. That is so unequivocably gay..ly coloured. The truck in the background. What a gay shade of red!" - suzycat
8. "Ngggggghh...Damn couch spring." - suzycat
7. Er, why did I squeal? Well, you see, I was, um...watching this show, and...Um, yeah, I was watching Smallville...Yeah it's the one with Clark Kent and Lex Luthor...Heh, yeah, they do have nice asses--Ohmigod, Mom, I can't believe you just said that! - Grey Roses
6. "Just kiss him already! What? I was talking to Lana. She'll be on screen in a minute...see, told ya." - suzycat
5. Well, you're seein' the eyef**ks aren't you? - DCookKC
4. It's not JUST a bottle!! - AlejandraDD
3. "Look at him. LOOK at him! And look at HIM! And HIM! I mean--God...." - suzycat
2. (squealing, hurling heavy objects at the screen, it's all the same) Look, Mom, it's not that I wanted the TV to be broken, but she talks about her damn parents ALL THE TIME! No I don't need to see a psychiatrist. - outside the box
1. I've developed WB Tourettes. Don't be insensitive! - Miss Windy
10. Lionel to Lex: "DON'T be WEAK, Lex. You MUST BE like Zeus and KIDnap your Ganymede, WHISKing him off to ravage him with IMPUNITY!" - Miss Windy
9. "Showing no respect for their new monarch, the Thebans refuse to let him and Hephaestion play in their bathhouse with the Sacred Band, prompting Alexander to march on their city.... Your loyal minion, Gabe Sullivan" - Jackbugger
8. Bo's religious devotion to Pan, God of the goatherders and shepherds. In his head, Bo refers to Sparky (his favorite goat) as Pan. - disbelief
7. Aristophanes' myth of the original humans, as told by Plato in The Symposium. Humans originally had two heads, and four arms and legs, etc. Some humans were of one gender, male or female. Others were bisexual, meaning that they had one male side and one female side to their body. They were split in half by the Gods because they were too powerful, and now we're all looking for our other half. But the most manly men came from the all-male humans. - JenHall
6. Due to Bo's "questionable activities" with his cattle, Martha ends up bearing the Minotaur. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bathe in Lysol. - Justin Cognito
5. Pygmalion and Galatea. "No, I swear I saw her lip move! I did! What? She's a statue? Huh, that's too bad." - Athene
4. A la Lysistrata, the women of Smallville refuse to have sex in order to get the men to save Plant #3. Heartily supported by Clark and Lex, who aren't affected by this in the slightest. - Lyonside
3. Well I don't know about *in* the show. But sometimes watching the show, I feel like a hybrid of Prometheus (having my liver torn out each day by an eagle), Tantulus (thirstily reaching for grapes and water that is always just out of my reach) and Sisyphus (rolling a rock up a hill, only to have it fall back down before I can reach the top). - kstanley
2. The Bacchae - Dionysion orgies, transvestism, lots of crazed murders, a character called Cadmus and a shaved god. Hang on it could work. Maybe Smallville writers are using it as a template. - elvichar
1. Hercules diverting the river to clean the Augean stables, causing a never-ending flow of shit. Oh, I forgot! That's the metaphor for TV in general! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
10. Trying to keep out of the way of the camera on the set of The Osbournes. - disbelief
9. Drugging the water supply of Nielson ratings families - how do YOU explain the success of American Idol? - Lyonside
8. "Special advisor" to the President. - Miss Windy
7. "Coach" for the US World Cup soccer team - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
6. Lucrative career as "manager" for a stable of strippers, most notably Officer Funboy. - slodwick
5. Creative Consultant for the Baseball Players Union (whatever the hell it's called). - Athene
4. Following Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson around on his tour, 'cause it's just a matter of time before he's needed. - firestarter
3. Marketing his new range of "Mane No More" hair products, for those with wiiiiild and crazy barnets. - wileykit666
2. Editor for the new magazine "Scuzzy: The Magazine For People Who Usually Wake Up In Their Own Vomit." Their first celebrity interview? Mickey Rourke! - Bulletproof Monk
1. Working as "janitor" in a very exclusive rehab clinic. "Psst! Wanna buy some Drano?" - suzycat
