Top Ten TWoP Spy Names for Smallville Characters if This Show Was ALIAS Instead - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
Top Ten Smallville Family Pets - TGC-64
Top Ten Animals Lex Might Be Providing Refuge for (on his person) at This Very Minute (please include the location) - kstanley
Top * Reasons Clark Should Go Badass for an Episode - Shy
Top Ten Things That Happen Following This Line: "This is Kansas, what could happen?" - Thayli
Top Ten Cross-Overs Between Monty Python and Smallville - Athene
Top Ten Big-Screen Love Scenes You'd Love to See Clex Re-Enact - Slashgirl
Extra: The opening scene from My Own Private Idaho, which I think would make a fine episode teaser. - Jackbugger
Top Ten Things to Do on a Date within the Smallville City Limits - Thayli
Extra: Play spin the bottle with expensive Ty Nant Water at the local billionaire's son's mansion - adellyna
Top Ten Things to Do in Luthor Manor -- Stark Nekkid - Bulletproof Monk
10. Clark...Flannel!Spy! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
9. Normal!Pete. Because nobody would notice Pete being there, allowing him to slip in and out of…er...'tight' situations. - outside the box
8. Bo - Platypus - firestarter
7. Lana - Blank!Spy. She lures the enemies in with her blank gaze and frozen upper lip, and then bludgeons them to death with anvils, on which are imprinted the story about how her parents died in a meteor storm. - Justin Cognito
6. Martha - SpyMommy. 'Cause she's a spy, and she's a mommy. - Ktnb
5. Chloe - Spy!Flippy. - Slashgirl
4. Lex. 00Sexxy - Wubba
3. Lex. Luthor. Is. Max. Dillo! Lex: "Alright, StinkyFinger. You may have me tied up but you'll never get me to talk! Not even if you ripped off all my clothes and tickled my sensitive nipple buds with feathers and tied my genitals with a rubber band and poured honey in my belly button and had a goat wearing a diaper lick it out! I'll never talk! Bad guy: "Uhhhh...I just want to know where the coffee maker is?" Lex: "NEVER!!!" - Bulletproof Monk
2. Principal Kwan = Smooth Operator (de-activated 5-7-2002) - Lyonside
1. Pa Kent: Spies.Won't.Feed.Themselves - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
10. Lionel Luthor, white persian cat with diamond choker. - TGC-64
9. Kents have Bessie the Bull. Bwahahahaha!!! - BlueFroggy
8. Lana with a canary. I am sure it reminds her of her own situation - all alone in a golden cage she can't escape from. - kstanley
7. Pete would have a mute parrot. It sits there and looks pretty, but doesn't get any good lines. - psiren
6. Kyle from "Hug" would have hermit crabs. - Lyonside
5. Lex has Tex Pichiago, the genetically-engineered fairy armadillo that he keeps in his pants. It's wiggly and pink and horny, and has claws. - slodwick
4. The evil step-step-mother from Stray would have crabs. And I don't mean the oceangoing kind. - Jackbugger
3. Whitney would have a Golden Retriever. - Elrond50
2. Lex - Clark (or Enrique) in a choke collar. - Gnosis
1. Clark - an 'dillo...what do you mean it's Lex's? Well, I think they both have a...fondness for it, and I heard Clark's pretty possessive about it. - joyfulgirl41
10. A snake in his trousers. - Bulletproof Monk
9. Ants in his pants. - Bulletproof Monk
8. A flying squirrel. Also in his trousers. They're quite roomy. - slodwick
7. "Lex, is that a bottle-nosed dolphin in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" - Bulletproof Monk
6. The armachillo - on his chest. Lex puts it elsewhere when he gets a massage. - kstanley
5. Armachichis, which live under his arms also go to places unknown for the duration of the massage. - Fleegull
4. A gerbil in his...pocket. - firestarter
3. Crabs. Really sexy, ambiguous crabs. - suzycat
2. A flannel-clad spider monkey named The Stimulator. Also in his trousers, but at the back. - madmouth
1. A Superfly...well, use your imagination. - Shy
14. Three words. Clark in Leather. - Shy
13. He'll teach the cows to feed themselves, and break poor little Bo's heart. - Thayli
12. So he can go to Club Zero with Lex. - Cynthia187
11. Because when good characters go bad, they get to wear really cute, ultra-sexy outfits. And their hair changes style and/or color. - venusboi79
10. Because then he and Lex could try and take over the world. Wearing very little. - suzycat
9. Because he has x-ray vision and it must not go to waste. Goodbye saving the world. Hello girl's locker room. And how you doin' Lex's morning shower. And what's happening Martha's Sunday bath...oh, wait, forget that last one! - Bulletproof Monk
8. 'Cause TW looks extra-cute with an evil-Spock beard, and evil doubles always have beards. - firestarter
7. He'd get to carry around a boombox playing his own personal theme song. - AmandaFM25
6. SexuallyAmbiguous!Clark. Because evil doubles are always...yadda yadda yadda. - suzycat
5. Because, as a badass, he might tell Lana off. - Gnosis
4. Just to see him yell at some kids, tear up some library books, tell Martha her cooking sucks, etc. It would be pretty damn funny, I think. - disbelief
3. Pie would be served BEFORE every meal. - Elrond50
2. He would approach Lana with force and vigour, take her on a really sleazy date and then dump her viciously when she didn't put out. When I say "dump viciously", what I really mean is "throw 30 feet into a wall". - suzycat
1. A bad guy Clark might actually kiss Lex. - Thayli
10. A Smallvillian meteor-mutated into a winged macacque snatches Lex from Clark's side; Clark sets off in quest to rescue his "special friend" -- bets are off as to how much singing will be involved. - Jackbugger
9. Several big giant tornadoes converge on the town and various disconnected but ominous, to be continued-type things occur. Oh, wait.… - suzycat
8. A meteor shower suddenly occurs, and pancakes two parents right in front of their emotionless little fairy princess. I mean, it's not like that's ever happened before. - outside the box
7. Smallville turns into Backwards Smallville. Lana's parents spring back up from their pancaked state. Lex's hair grows back. Clark flies back into Outer Space. Lex's heart is broken. He shaves his head and builds a spaceship and flies off after his Own True Love, to the strains of Romantic Violin Music. Will he ever find Clark again? Stay tuned! - JenHall
6. Clark starts singing into the gusty wind,"Somewhere over the rainbow...." but then this main feature is invaded by another movie, and Bo runs in, "Nooooo!!! Stop singing!" ala Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "But father," Clark whines. "I just want to...sing!" - firestarter
5. A giant foot crashes into whomever said it. - greenman
4. For once, nothing would happen, and they'd all be forced to go to their English class. If they remembered where it was. - adellyna
3. A fine day, with the sun shining in a perfect blue sky, the birds singing, and absolutely nothing happening. Oh, wait, that is Kansas! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
2. The townspeople rise up to torch the local K-Mart to counteract the satanic influence of Martha Stewart. - The *Other* Daughter
1. The black kid gets to have more than five lines an episode. - The *Other* Daughter
10. Bo has to return one of the new cows he bought because it's dead. "That is an ex-cow!" - wordnerd
9. The Giant Foot from the opening credits smooshes Lana's parents. - Fleegull
8. Lex, Clark, Castle Anthrax. The possiblities are endless. - adellyna
7. Lionel's history lecture of the week? The varied and multitudinous contributions of Biggus Dickus and his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks, to the Roman world. *snicker* "Lex? Is SOMEthing FUNny aBOUT BIGgus DICKus? My SON, what IS the PROBlem?" - ScrunchyDrums
6. Lionel and Lex fencing. Lex: "Come on, give up already!" Lionel: "Never! Come back here, I'll bite your knees off!" - lyonside
5. Lex: "Listen, Clark, for the last time I don't know who this Roger Nixon was but I do know that I wasn't expecting some Spanish Inquistion.…" "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISTION!!!" - Bulletproof Monk
4. "And here we have Pete Ross, trying not to be seen.... BOOM! Obviously he wasn't quite successful." - kstanley
3. Pete finds a castle filled with a ton of beautiful, yet dangerous women (perhaps victims of the Nicodemus flower?), Clark saves Pete but won't let him return to the castle. Imagine: Pete: "C'mon, Clark! I can handle it, there's only 150 of them!" Clark: "No. It's too perilous." Pete: "Can't I have just a little peril?" Clark: "No." Pete: "Bet you're gay." - wordnerd
2. Yay Spam! - Gnosis
1. When "Wan-a"'s parents get smushed by the meteor, just before they die, they could say, "It's just a scratch." - Slashgirl
10. The kitchen scene in Nine & A Half Weeks. - Slashgirl
9. The spaghetti scene in Lady And The Tramp - Slashgirl
8. The pottery scene in "Ghost" you know...with all the clay and "Unchained Melody" as a sound track. - AlejandraDD
7. Clark and the hand-in-jeans couch scene from Mulholland Drive. - Starcat
6. The flying scene with Lex singing, "Can you read my mind", from "Superman the Movie". - DantesFire
5. The beach scene in 'From Here to Eternity'. - JenHall
4. They just gotta do the standing at the front of the "Titanic". "Feels like FLying." - DantesFire
3. All those dance scenes from Save The Last Dance. Don't believe me? Watch that movie and mentally insert the Clex. - BlueFroggy
2. The musical number on the rooftop in Moulin Rouge. (Only with different songs, ones about forbidden love) - DMW_SFU
1. The famous orgasm faking scene from When Harry met Sally re-enacted in the Talon with either Clark or Lex in the Meg Ryan role. I hate Meg Ryan but picture the above and than picture it one more time for good measure. - Crayola
10. Cow tipping! (I live in a small town, I know lol) - Thayli
9. Making cow-eyes at the person you're not on a date with, while your date makes hopeless cow eyes at you, unaware that a third person is making hopeless cow-eyes at them.... - suzycat
8. Nothing - firestarter
7. Head to the kegger down in Thompsons' field by the quarry. (hey, I grew up in Smallville. It was really that boring.) - justjoan
6. Bake pie! - Shy
5. Go to church. - suzycat
4. First, sneak some booze from your parent's liquor cabinet, and get drunk. Then, go to the hometown high school football game. Then, drive down a dark country road and hit people's mailboxes with a baseball bat. - slodwick
3. Save the town from evil. - Funky Chicken of Death
2. I guess drive up and down Main street until some kryptomutant hell beast tries to kill you. Or maybe McDonald's, whichever you prefer - Bulletproof Monk
1. A hayride! (Do they really have such things?) - suzycat
10. Fuck Lex - Cynthia187
9. Host a Bible study, with punch and cookies afterwards. - venusboi79
8. Body art with edible paint - Elrond50
7. Smear yourself with rose-smelling krypto-chlorophyll and try and drown anyone who stands between you and your bald millionaire. Oh wait, they already did that.… - firestarter
6. Learn the breaststroke - Shy
5. Crisco Twister! - Jackbugger
4. Buggery! - Jackbugger
3. In-depth philosophical discussions about the responsibilities of uber-beings towards the lowly masses. - suzycat
2. Be chased around by a crazy axe-wielding manservant (of evil). - Funky Chicken of Death
1. Hell, if they're both nekkid and the scene is lengthy, they can talk about how lovely Lana is and how Clark should marry her for all I care. - suzycat
