Top Ten Signs You're in Denial - Coriolanus
Extra: You thought that Lex looked really hot in that pink dress and blonde wig at the formal. - Rhiannonhero Top Ten Outfits You'd Love To Torture Lana With (you know, make her look goofy, etc.) - disbelief
Top Ten Really Lame Plot Devices With Which To Restore The Clex - suzycat
Top Ten Ways "Smallville" Would Be Different If Superman Was A Marvel Comic - kleenexwoman
Top Ten Jobs that Lex Could Have if He Never Went on to Create LexCorp, become a Super-villian and President of the USA. - J.D.
Ten Ways to Tell When Someone Has the Hots for Lex - Cynthia187
Top Ten Superpowers for Lex - AlejandraDD
Top Ten Rejected Pete Lines for the Dance Scene - Tresca
10. You spend all your time wondering what you're going to get Clark and Lex for their commitment ceremony.
- Coriolanus
9. You say "Lois? Lois who??????" - AlejandraDD
8. Keep yelling, "Would somebody just kill LANA so they can be HAPPY!" - Elrond50
7. Of course I am working! Certainly I did that report! What minimized window on my desktop? I don't know how that got there! I had it open for a friend! I don't know any bald guys! - mrslexluthor
6. You see Clark and Lex, in the barn. Nekkid. Lex is playing with Clark's telescope. - raeblackman
5. You look up "Criminal Mastermind" in the dictionary and you can SWEAR it reads: n. Love slave to plaid-wearing farmboy. - Coriolanus
4. You tell yourself that the big Clex kissing scene will be on next week's episode. - ZigStar
3. You go ahead and address a Christmas card to the Langs anyway....what's that? You don't know about the Langs? Well...they are...um..... - mrslexluthor
2. When you call Ms. Cleo at 3:00 am to find out if Clark and Lex ever hook up. - Elrond50
1. You have the perfect housewarming gift picked out for Lex and Clark's condo in Metropolis, and the cutest dog collar for their Wiemaraner. - disbelief
10. Chloe's Santa Pants. - wileykit666
9. Her outfit in Nicodemus - BlueFroggy
8. She has to wear Whitney's letterman jacket...all summer, outside, during the day. - Elrond50
7. Anything Not!Pink - BlueFroggy
6. Clark's plaid flannel - ZigStar
5. Cameron Diaz's fugly Oscars dress. - Kimiko
4. Jennifer Lopez's famous Not!dress - BlueFroggy
3. Curtains from the Kent household. (Did you ever see that Carol Burnett episode?) - Elrond50
2. A pair of Ozzy's leather pants after a long concert... - Bulletproof Monk
1. Bunny ears and a pair of fugly pjs. - suzycat
10. Dr. Hamilton makes the whole town gay by accident. Lex and Clark hook up forever. - Elrond50
Ten Pieces of Really Cool Smallville Merchandise - suzycat
9. A tornado rips through the town, killing Lana and Bo. Chloe saves Pete's life, and they realize they're in love. Lex and the MB are trapped under some rubble in the damaged castle. Clark saves them, and the MB is so grateful that he promises Clark anything in return. Clark asks for Lex's hand in marriage. Pamela is miraculously cured, and the MB realizes he loves her and asks her to marry him. Cue the Wedding March please, for the Double Wedding. - JenHall
8. For reasons unexplained, Smallville shifts location from a midwestern town to a men's prison. - suzycat
7. Clark finds some Red K that reverses sexual orientation. Easy. - kleenexwoman
6. The tornado drags Clark all the way to the castle, right in through the broken window, and dumps him face-down in Lex's lap. - Jackbugger
5. Another tornado hits the town while Clark is visiting Lex at the castle. They are forced to spend many hours trapped together naked (can it be hot during a tornado?) in Lex's storm cellar. Each finally succumbs to the temptation posed by all that sweaty, glistening, delicious looking muscles and skin. - disbelief
4. Everyone in Smallville dies except Lex and Clark and they're trapped in this barn (not Clark's) and are hanging on to one pipe as the tornado goes right past them and…oh wait…that's a movie. - Alilabeth
3. After a signal from his amazing "bend-over-his-desk" sense that warns him of impending danger, Lex rescues Clark from almost certain heterosexual sex when he suggests that Chloe wear her Santa pants when going over to visit the Kent farm. - Bulletproof Monk
2. Lex disguises himself in this wig and some tight, pink Abercrombie shirt and low-riders, then hides out at the Talon pretending to be Lana. An unsuspecting Clark is lured into his tender trap, only finding out the truth when he kisses "Lana" and--gasp!--her upper lip actually moves. But by then, my friends, well, it's simply just too late. - Spawn of Santa
1. Clark and Lex are unwitting recipients of The Gay Serum. - suzycat
10. The Lang Pancake Maker - AlejandraDD
9. Blonde girl honey. - disbelief
8. Lex Luthor Flaming Sparkle Gun: "zzzzzzaaap!" - Bulletproof Monk
7. Green, glow-in-the-dark, mint-flavored condoms. - slodwick
6. The Kent's 'Have your picture taken with the cows' stand. Martha makes the picture frames as well.
5. The Clark 'n' Lex Puzzle Executive Toy. Shift the right pieces in the right sequence and you can make them fit together. - suzycat
4. Limited edition MB blue relaxation balls - in pairs, of course - to roll around in the palm of your hand whenever you feel the burn. - Tall Poppy
3. Bo Kent Hand Carved Cow Feeders. - JenHall
2. The Sexy Lexy range of skin-tight, shoulder-outlining boy's tops. Winter colourways only, natch. - suzycat
1. Kent Farms Organic Fruit. Try the Plums and Banana Package! (unfortunately, there are no cherries) - Justin Cognito
10. There would be no Metropolis, it would be a REAL city. - Elrond50
9. Clark Kent would have watched his parents die, have a string of dead lovers and less compunction about hurting bad guys. - Starcat
8. Lex and Clark might actually get it on. - Lexual Healing
7. Lana would have been a mutant a long time ago and probably dead as well. - Elrond50
6. Superman's costume would be purple and pink and he would have been intimate with Green Lantern by now. That boy ain't right. - mrslexluthor
5. Martha would be a telepath / telekinetic, and she would have died and come back from the dead a couple times already. Her pet name for Bo would be "Slim." And he would be forever spouting platitudes. Hey, what do you know... - Sandman
4. Clark and Lex couldn't touch, cos Lex would steal Clark's powers if they did, but then again, there's nothing that a couple of gloves and a condom can't solve.- AlejandraDD
3. Whitney is hit in the eyes by a canister of LuthorCorp radioactive kryptosomethingorother while walking across the street and he goes blind but his remaining senses are heightened to the point where he can hear Lana's face makeup crinkle and crack from three miles away and he can definitely smell what the Rock is cooking. In Los Angeles. Whitney resolves then and there to stay in Smallville and use his abilities to fight local crime, such as tractor racing and cow tipping. A national day of celebration is declared by Miss Windy. - Bulletproof Monk
2. Struck by that wicked, wicked gamma radiation, Lex turns insane and starts ripping his clothes off. Then Clark's clothes off. Nerodi drowns in her own drool. - Coriolanus
1. Lex would actually declare his love for Clark just before jumping off a bridge. - J.D.
10. Pool shark! Hey, the guy has high standards of living. And it lets him play with balls all day! Hee! - J.D.
9. Valet. He could help Clark dress (and undress). - edie22
8. The obvious choice- The Hair Club for Men. He's not just a client, he's the president. - Lexual Healing
7. Fencing instructor (so he can teach fit young men how to parry and thrust) - Tall Poppy
6. Race car driver, for obvious reasons. - Elrond50
5. Quality Control at the Whipped Cream factory. - disbelief
4. Telly Savalas standin. - Gnosis
3. Male model - AlejandraDD
2. Rugged, manly construction worker. Well, why the hell not? He and Clark could form their own company, Clex Construction Limited. - suzycat
1. A Delivery Boy - Cynthia187
10. They breathe. - Rhiannonhero
9. You pick up their jacket and discover their pockets are full of Chupa-Chups and Ty Nant - Starcat
8. Somehow, sometime, somewhere on the planet...a kitten breathes its last. *sniff* - Tall Poppy
7. Sticking with my theme of the evening, they smear whipped cream on his lips. (Why, oh why, did that have to be Blana?) - disbelief
6. They blush and look up flirtatiously from underneath their impossibly long eyelashes. While wearing big husky farm boy jackets. - suzycat
5. They come up with long extensive plans to kidnap him and keep him all to themselves. - J.D.
4. Friends notice that when Lex is around, no one else exists. - JenHall
3. He/she sits home alone, playing with the foil Lex gave them as a present. - slodwick
2. Buys bowling ball just to rub it. - Gnosis
1. He/she combines the initial with his/her first name with Lex's name (Do I hear Clex????) - AlejandraDD
10. The ability to wear lots of brown lipstick and still look GO-OD!!!! - AlejandraDD
9. The ability to reverse the sexual orientation of his foes (BTW, Clark counts as a foe). - Funky Chicken of Death
8. The power to keep Bo from spouting platitudes. (I really want this to happen.) - Elrond50
7. The power to bring giant boys to their knees...or any other convenient position...with a single eyef*ck - wileykit666
6. Can deflect light from his shiny head to confuse his enemies. - Starcat
5. The power to turn anyone's outfit purple. - Elrond50
4. The ability to spout ridiculously cheesy dialogue, and yet sound completely sincere and eloquent. - slodwick
3. The power to make any object in his hands appear FABulously Phallic. - Fleegull
2. Can drink tall bottles of Ty Nant at a single gulp! - mrslexluthor
1. Able to apply Alexander the FABulous' teachings to any situation. - Tresca
10. Yeah, N'Sync! - Tresca
9. Mmmm! Punch! - slodwick
8. Clark will you dance with me? - edie22
7. (to any girl:) "Heeee, heeee, I can see your nipples!!!!" - AlejandraDD
6. "Play a song about creamed corn!" - mrslexluthor
5. Yeah! Barry Manilow! - slodwick
4. Why didn't you ask Lex to the dance, Clark? - Rhiannonhero
3. If it means more screen time, Clark can save me too. - Thayli
2. Why is my date making out with Chloe???? - AlejandraDD
1. Wanna see me do the robot? - cmeridian
