Top Ten Ways to Take Lex Luthor for Granted - adellyna
Top Ten Richmeister's Nicknames for Smallville People - AlejandraDD
Top Ten Names for Lex & Clark's New Condom Company - madmouth
Top 10 Most Twisted SV Top 10 List Topics (extant or future) - Jackbugger
Top Ten Scenarios You'd Like to See in a SV Willy Wonka Crossover - Shy
Top Ten Signs that Lex Just Climaxed in the Row behind You in a Movie Theatre - MrsTomWelling
Top Ten Fluids Swallowed by Lex in the Last Hour - suzycat
Top Ten Worst Cliches Seen in Clex-Related Buggery Scenarios (tm suzycat) - Jackbugger
Top Ten Reasons We KNOW Lionel Did Bad Touching to Lex (tm suzycat again) - Jackbugger
Top Ten Things Lex Would Have Tattooed on His Ass - madmouth
Extra: A Superman logo - kleenexwoman
10. Lex, it's OK if I use the mansion for a party for Lana, isn't it? And I'll just borrow the Spyder, OK? And actually I don't have any cash on me right now - OK, thanks. - suzycat
9. Lex, Chloe really pissed me off this time. Can you pretend like you're going to shut down the fertilizer plant again? You know...just to rattle her a little. - Miss Windy
8. "Hey, Lex, how about another blow job over here?" - DCookKC
7. Lex, please invest your money in my crappy coffee house so that I can keep alive in my heart the memory of my parents who died when I was just a little girl and I was standing right in front of this very building when blah blah blah blah.... - adellyna
6. Lex, honey, can you fly in the best doctors from Metropolis because I just stubbed my big toe and it made an owie? The doctors here suck. Thanks, babe! - mrslexluthor
5. Lex, you know that guy that strung me up in the field? Do you think you could bring your football team to town so he can play with them before his dad dies? Thanks a million. - Elrond50
4. Hi Lex, Penguin here. Me, the Joker, Sinestro and Braniac were talking and we wanted set up some sort of Doom Legion (we'll work on the name later). We were wondering if you were funding it and if we could use your secret hideout as our base? - Gnosis
3. "...and Lex, could you run out and get coffee for the rest of the Doom Legion? Oh, Penguin wants extra cream (Jebus, they actually say that to Lex!?!) with his. And keep an eye out for The Tigress and Black Manta would you, there's a lad..." - Bulletproof Monk
2. Gosh, Lex, you mean you wanted more than meaningless sex? Does that mean we have to stop now? - Jackbugger
1. "Hey, Lex, you know that fatherly guy that lives with me? Rugged hair, flannel, feeds the cows, hates your guts? You know that guy? Could you, like, continuously offer him money with which to save the farm?" - madmouth
10. Jonathan Kennnnt.The Kentmeister. Big Bo, making with the platitudes. Luthor-hater. Cow-hand-a-rama, keeping the cows fed. Jonathannn. - Jackbugger
9. Flip. Flippy. Flipper. - welshstar
8. Peeete.... *long awkward silence* - Lyonside
7. Lex...the Lex-master...the Lexminster-carpet...the Lexminster-fullerene...Lex-minster Abbey...Lex-all-go-down-the-Strand...Lex-go-crazy...Lex, baby! Lex! Oh Lex! - Camberwell Green
6. La-nnnnaaaaa! Talkin' 'bout her parrreeennntss! She's makin' pan-cakes! Lan-aaaaa! The Lana-mator! Lana-lana-ding-dong! Lana-lana-bo-fana! La-naaaaah! - wordnerd
5. Maaaaartha! Maaaaaartha Stew-art! Makin' potpourrrrrriiii! Trimmin' pie crusts! - Minders
4. Bo...bobadodo...dodo...kent...kent-ta-bent-ment...ooobeedoob eedoo... - kleenexwoman
3. Enrique-a! A-rique-a-mento! En-a-roll-a-rique! Rique! En-en-en-en-en-RIQUE! Rique-a-roo! Rique-a-rah! The Rique-er! Roh-rique! Roh-roh-roh! The Rique-ster! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
2. Lionel Luthor! The Luthorator! Luthorissimo! Luthorama-ding-dong! Magnificent-o Bastard-o, shakin his hairrr! NonBaldmeister! Lyin' Lionel with the Luthorness! Liee-ohhh-nelllllll! - Miss Windy
1. Leeex...Lexacious...Lexcivious...Lexmeister, the man of Lexitude, full of Lexations and Lexual Delights for your viewing pleasure. - madmouth
10. "Go for Broke" - TGC-64
9. Delivery Boy Brand. Slogan = we really deliver! (or, Taking Excellent Care of Your Package) - disbelief
8. LionelBrand Condoms: To help prevent any (Magnificent) Bastards - Minders
7. Super!Rubbers (glow green in the dark) - DCookKC
6. FarmFuckers. "We color-coordinate with your favourite pitchfork!" - madmouth
5. Buggery Rubbery. "Holds back the mother load!...so to speak." - outside the box
4. Kent Farms Organic Wiener Sleeves - Bulletproof Monk
3. Clark's Brand Cherry Flavoured Toppers - DCookKC
2. Rubbalicious -- for big, big "bubbles" - Minders
1. Purple Penis Eater brand -- the one with the picture of Lex's wide-open mouth on the wrapper. - Jackbugger
10. Jackbugger's ten most hated euphemisms for Clex-related buggery scenarios. - suzycat
9. Top Ten Reasons We Know Lionel Did Bad Touching To Lex - suzycat
8. Top Ten Fluids Swallowed By Lex In The Last Hour - Bulletproof Monk
7. Top Ten Salad Dressings Clark uses when rimming Lex's salad bowl. - Lexual Healing
6. Clark's Top Ten Ejaculatory Exclamations - suzycat
5. Top Ten Names SV Women Have for Their Period - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
4. Top Ten Frighteningly Creative Barnyard Lubricants - Jackbugger
3. Top Ten Signs That Lex Just Climaxed In The Row Behind You In A Movie Theatre - Bulletproof Monk
2. Top Ten Hypothetical Fanfic Premises That Would Make Poor wiley Hurl - Jackbugger
1. Top ten things Lana puts in people's drinks instead of coffee - Shy
10. Fizzy lifting drinks - Clark and Lex could make love in the air! - Shy
9. Clark and Lex go for a swim in the chocolate river...and then have to clean each other off with nothing but their tongues, poor buggers. - Jackbugger
8. Lana blowing up like a big blueberry. - Elrond50
7. Lionel Luthor as Willy Wonka. As a kid I was always convinced that Willy Wonka was Satan and who better than the Magnificent Bastard to step into that role. - Crayola
6. Oompa Loompa slash.(Actually I *don't* want to see that. But it's crying out to be done.) - suzycat
5. Remember the scene with the flavored wall paper. I would love to see a scene with all the characters licking the wall paper and tasting their favorite thing. (Ex. Bo: "tastes like milk"...etc) Lex however tastes something that decidedly tastes like "farmboy." - Crayola
4. Fatsucka Gal puts paid to Augustus Gloop. - Tall Poppy
3. During the tour, Clark wants to fuck Lex, and when Lex says no, Clark says "But I want it now!" Veruca's song ensues with CLexy lyrics - outside the box
2. All the SV TWoPers get turned into widdle molecules and sucked into a TV like Mike TV, where we are forced to while away the hours in the company of Lex, Clark, et al. It will be torture. - firestarter
1. Clark, Whitney, Lex, and Pete in bed together but having much more fun than Charlie's grandparents. - Elrond50
10. "You fucking bitch you fucking whore! What? I didn't say anything. No I didn't! It was just a noise!" - suzycat
9. "What's this? I didn't order butter topping on my popcorn...." - autumnyte
8. "Daa-- Claaaaaaaaark!" - suzycat
7. His ass stops hitting you in the back of the head. - DCookKC
6. You roll a jaffa down the aisle but it doesn't get very far before sticking in something - Tall Poppy
5. "All right, who are the wise guys playing finger puppets in front of the projector?!" - Shy
4. Clark chokes. - suzycat
3. You turn back around in your seat and start watching the movie again. - phantom_minuet
2. "Clark, that was...that was super...." - Jackbugger
1. He smirks slightly more than usual. - suzycat
10. Cappuccino. (Note to Lex: Cap is for pussies, and tastes like crap. If you *must* adulterate your coffee with milk, can you please switch to latte? Thank you) - suzycat
9. Cream of Sum yung gai. - autumnyte
8. Blood, sweat and tears -- leading to the launch of a thousand hurt/comfort fics so he can swallow that other bodily fluid. - Jackbugger
7. Single-malt. (I love a sexy man with my own taste in alcohol.) - Jackbugger
6. Chocolate Sauce - DCookKC
5. Yoo Hoo. His one vice. Well, the only one he's ashamed of, at least. - justjoan
4. Semen - the only antidote (TM Te) to what ails him. - suzycat
3. A smoothie. Because I just had one, damnit. And Lex is smooooooth. - Jackbugger
2. His own semen. Clark learned to snowball. - outside the box
1. Champagne from Clark's navel (and points south) because I have "Sleep While I Drive" on the brain - Jackbugger
10. "Lex? I've...never done this before." - suzycat
9. "I want to do everything to you, Clark...." "Anything, Lex, whatever you want...." - Jackbugger
8. "Lex tried not to think of all the Kansas statutes that, along with Clark, he was violating." - phantom_minuet
7. Why I can't believe this Clark I don't have any money with me, however will I pay for these cucumbers - greenman
6. The leaking and spurting of a never-ending supply of pre-cum. With all that money you'd hope Lex could find a good urologist. - autumnyte
5. Lana was pretty, all right, but she just didn't do this to Clark.... - firestarter
4. Buttons went flying, and Lex lost more clothes this way. - DCookKC
3. "God! Fuck! Lex!" "Fuck! Clark! Yes!" - Miss Windy
2. Clark- ok Lex, I'm all ready to try out your new Harley, I got the leather chaps and everything; hey where's the bike? - greenman
1. "Lex, wait, wait-" Clark stammered, pants round his ankles, lips red from kissing. Lex hung his head. "I'm sorry, Clark, I didn't mean to push you.…" "No! No, Lex, it's not that. It's just...I can't do this with you," he blushed furiously, "without telling you...telling you the Truth about me." - Jackbugger
10. The whole leather glove o' squick, "don't leave me dangling" thing. Wow. - wileykit666
9. I personally dusted Lex for fingerprints. - phantom_minuet
8. Well, have you seen the magnificent bastard's photo album?! - DCookKC
7. Because you know some bad touching is involved if Lionel is giving Lex the really good candy. - Bulletproof Monk
6. Ever since Lex was banished to Smallville, Lionel has developed an insatiable craving for vanilla ice-cream Chupa Chups - DCookKC
5. How "Leaves of Grass" is such a family type poem for him to quote to Lex. - edie22
4. Because it wasn't long after Lex refused to come back to Metropolis that Lionel showed up with his blue balls. - Minders
3. Because it doesn't take superbrains to figure out what comes after "You will always need me, Lex." - justjoan
2. Because no one could be impervious to that much of The Sexy. - PunPunPun
1. The quasi-erotic gasping, prancing around whilst rubbing next to each other in big, semen-colored uniforms, and thrusting at one another with phallic symbols. Oh, SURE, they were just FENCING. - madmouth
10. ProPURty oF Clark J KeNT. Done with a safety pin and ink from a biro. - wileykit666
9. This End Up - justjoan
8. Slippery when wet - Starcat
7. Clark wuz heer. - madmouth
6. (Farmboys)(Welcome) - Bulletproof Monk
5. You can't afford me - slodwick
4. Grade A - DCookKC
3. Diva! - Clark'N'Lana4Ever!!!!!
2. A 'W' on each cheek. - wileykit666
1. A Star of David, since I've heard that that's what MR actually has tattooed on his tuchis. - stargurl
Extra Extra: "You must be this tall to ride this ride." - Spiderine
