Top Ten Reasons Why Clark Is Running Out Of The Barn With His Pants Around His Ankles - Bulletproof Monk
Top Ten Futures Cassandra Didn't Get to Show Us - Shy
Top Ten Things Found at Lex's Dig Site (besides the piece of Clark's spaceship) - Shy
Top Ten Elements of Club Zero That the Producers Didn't Show Us - AmandaFM25
Top Ten Excuses Lex Used to Keep Victoria from Sleeping with Him - Cynthia187
Extra: "You remind me too much of my father." - phantom_minuet
Ten Explanations Clark Can Give to His Parents if He's Caught in a Compromising Position with Lex and Whitney - Cynthia187
Top Ten New Insults Bo Thought of for Lex this Season - outside the box
Top Ten Pickup Lines You Plan to Use on a Smallville Castmember at VanCon - adellyna
Top Ten Things in the Script That Michael Rosenbaum Has Laughed His Touchis Off At - Shy
Top Ten Things Omar is Doing on His Summer Hiatus - Thayli
10. He wanted to see how the new milking machine worked, but the phone started ringing - joyfulgirl41
9. Because running out of the barn with his pants around his neck would be silly. - phantom_minuet
8. Because Lana just gave him his Christmas gift - a belt w/ a green glowing buckle. - Lyonside
7. Bo stopped talking long enough to catch a clue. - firestarter
6. The cows developed a sudden ability to suck, and decided to practice on Clark. And I have developed the sudden ability to squick myself. - C.
5. He forgot the lube. (Do'h!) - Shy
4. He forgot the pictures of Lex he downloaded from Chloe's digital camera. (She's gotta have some candids of him in there somewhere!) - AmandaFM25
3. Lex said he wanted to learn how to milk the old-fashioned way. - Shy
2. He likes to pound posts without using hands. - Shy
1. He's refrigerating Lex's *medicine* in used bottles of Ty Nant. (Waste not, want not!) - Shy
10. Cassandra sees Lionel ten years in the future, and he's sporting a comb-over. - phantom_minuet
9. She saw that, in the end, There Can Be Only One. - joyfulgirl41
8. Middle-aged Lana after her marriage has broken up and she has raised six kids on her own, put on a bit (!) more weight around the hips and thighs, recovered from a drinking problem, and found work as a cleaner at her old high school. Can't you just see her now, with a fag hanging out of her mouth, yelling at 'Loqueesha' or 'Lafitrah' to get some groceries? - Tall Poppy
7. President Lex has an intern under his desk who bears a startling resemblance to Clark Kent. - suzycat
6. She touches Pete's hand again. *Cue the crickets.* Tumbleweeds blow. - firestarter
5. Martha develops a severe case of Empty Nest Syndrome after Clark moves to Metropolis and takes yet another orphan--a lovely 24-year-old boy with smoldering eyes and clever hands--under her wing. She doesn't adopt him, mind you. She just takes him under her, ah, wing. - phantom_minuet
4. In the year 2010..Lana Lang will be the most popular name in America...when people start naming their asses. - Bulletproof Monk
3. The alien invasion scheduled for December 22, 2012. - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
2. Lex and Clark's marriage in somewhere where it's legal, with Martha trying to stop Jonathan from killing Lex and Lionel committing suicide. - lex'sbabe
1. The cheese has taken over. - Shy
10. Pete's voice - Lyonside
9. More jewelry - I mean armor belonging to Alexander the FABulous. - birdysj
8. Plot spackle, but they buried it again. - firestarter
7. Volumes of the Smallville Ledger, with headlines reading "Mutant Freak Attacks Town! Everyone Notices!" - outside the box
6. The People's Republic of China - phantom_minuet
5. The buried remains of hundreds of murdered cows. Physical evidence found at the bovine graves leads to the arrest of Jonathan Kent. REPORTER: Mr. Kent, why did you do it? KENT: I kept telling them, but they wouldn't listen! I told them they couldn't feed themselves, but they just kept eating the damn grass! I had to show them the consequences! - Grey Roses
4. Lillian Luthor's underground lair. After faking her death to get away from Lionel, she hid in a field in Kansas, monitoring Lex's activities. She's really pissed. - C.
3. Clark's heterosexuality, which he promptly destroys. - BlueFroggy
2. Lana's acting skills. (oops, that has to be an inborn talent...never mind!) - Shy
1. The real Lana. The one they have now is just a LanaBot. - AmandaFM25
10. All the weeknight specials:
9. Mistress Wanda's Chamber of Pain and Delight - C.
8. They have a FABulous Tex-Mex buffet for Happy Hour. - slodwick
7. The "back room" a la Babylon. - DCookKC
6. The lovely upstairs Men's Room with the the tres chic Laura Ashley prints and matching commode sets. - TGC-64
5. Two-for-one margaritas for everyone carrying a concealed weapon. - phantom_minuet
4. BYOP* Night. It's really a big hit with the Metropolis Elite...they all love to swap. Besides, who doesn't love a good piece? (*Bring Your Own Pie Night) - slodwick
3. The drawer full of matchboxes with their unsuccessful first slogan "Consequences, Schmonsequences." - Minders
2. Bring Your Favorite Lingerie Night. For when you just HAVE to show off what your billionaire boyfriend gave you just for being a good boy! - mrslexluthor
1. Bring your own manservant night - Cynthia187
10. It's only fair to warn you, I've got crabs. And not the ones with pinchers.... - Shy
9. I've got a headache - Shy
8. "Sorry Vicky, but 7th Heaven is on...." - Grey Roses
7. "You've heard of sleep-walking? Well I have this rare disorder called sleep-maiming. This sounds strange, but the doctors say it can be aggravated by contact with large breasts...." - autumnyte
6. "I'm saving myself for marriage, you slut!" - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
5. You bitch! You've stretched out my best negligee! - slodwick
4. There's not enough scotch in the castle to make you look like Clark. - disbelief
3. I've lost everything. - firestarter
2. Sorry, not tonight, but the doctor says I'm good to go once this breakout clears up.... - adellyna
1. Unless you have a dick, I don't think so! - Cynthia187
10. "Guess what, Mom and Dad? I've developed a new power!" - phantom_minuet
9. "Geez, I was just showing them how Dad milks the cows." - autumnyte
8. Mom! Dad! Lex and Whitney must have meteor rocks in their pockets or something…. I mean, why else would I be sooooo weak that I'm literally on my knees in front of them? What's that you say? It doesn't explain why all of us are naked? And since were all naked, there's no way they could be hiding meteor rocks? Darn! - isabou
7. I'm gay, leave me alone or I'll crush you like the worthless, insignificant, unsupportive weaklings that you are. - adellyna
6. They got splinters from sliding down the loft banister. I'm only helping to take them out. - Henry Jones, Jr
5. Er, Lex was teaching me to fence…. Don't you know that fencing is a high-contact sport? - Grey Roses
4. Mom, Dad! What a surprise! Care to join us?? - lex'sbabe
3. Well, Dad, you told me I should spend more time with Whitney, and I thought we'd be a good influence on Lex, so.... - C.
2. "Mom, Dad, I found these, uh, glowing red rocks, and...I don't know...they make me act all weird and...make me want Lex to fuck me. Yeah, that's the ticket! Glowing red rocks!" - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
1. "Relax! We're just filming a documentary about Graeco-Roman wrestling. What? Oh, yeah, I guess that does explain the cameras." - outside the box
10. Hey, Richer! What's the big castle for? To hold your checkbook? - outside the box
9. Yeah, you rich people never do anything for yourselves. I bet you even have your own personal hair-stylist…. Oh, gee, whoops. Nevermind…. - Grey Roses
8. "Hah, I bet you even bribe your cows to feed themselves!" - Shy
7. "Who dresses you, Lex? I mean, do you think this is a little excessive for Smallville, Kansas?" Okay, okay--so I stole that line from Crash Davis in Bull Durham. But it's a great line. - phantom_minuet
6. Cram it baldie! (Bo's not exactly that great in the wit department in my opinion) - Gnosis
5. Your father may be a bastard, but he's more of a man then you'll ever be. - adellyna
4. You know why I don't like you, Lex? Well, I prefer to see the good in people. Oh damn, I messed that up. I prefer to see the BAD in people. That's it. - daisycherub
3. "Lex, I have the perfect gift for you." *hands Lex a copy of "Platitudes for a Life in Hell" by Marc Wilson * "For the future." - voodoogoddess
2. "You're starting to sound just like me, Lex." - C.
1. Gain some weight, Clark would snap you like a twig. That is...if you were good enough for him, which you're not. - adellyna
10. Michael, hi, I'm.... *thud* - adellyna
9. Michael, Tom, ever had a threesome? - Weredonut
8. Hey, Michael, can I rub your (sly, Stray-esque glance downward) head? - Minders
7. So, Michael. How do you feel about sex slaves? - phantom_minuet
6. Hey, Michael, can you teach me how to play pool? And since we're at it, will you take me on the pool table? - AlejandraDD
5. Hi, Allison! I'm a baker and I'd love to split your muffin and butter your buns! - Bulletproof Monk
4. Hello, Michael...nice dress. Can I try it on? - Zev
3. "Sam? Sam? I don't remember any actor named Sam. You play who? Are you sure you're on the show? Oh, oh, oh, I'm so ashamed of myself, Mr. Jones! May I put your head on my shoulder? Or elsewhere?" - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
2. Tom, if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me, so I can tie it up and shove it into the back seat of my car? - phantom_minuet
1. "Michael, I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?" OR the more direct "Nice shoes, wanna fuck? - joyfulgirl41
10. A scene with John Glover, in which he fondles two large and very blue balls. - phantom_minuet
9. "Yes, I realize his father is in a coma, but you want me to stare at him for how long?" - adellyna
8. "Lex stares adoringly at Victoria." - firestarter
7. "Yeah, I understand that Lex might be going away and all, and wants to give Clark something symbolic, but you want me to give him what? Sure. *mumbles to self* what is it we're symbolizing? No subtext my ass." - joyfulgirl41
6. Lana comes on to me? Will I be able to tell? - Thayli
5. "Mr. Kent, I may be from Metropolis, but at least I know that the cows do feed themselves" - Cynthia187
4. "Let me get this straight...the first on-screen contact that Clark and Lex have involves Lex moving too fast to avoid hitting a phallic symbol, Clark being swept off his feet, and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. What's our target demographic, again?" - phantom_minuet
3. "And then in our second meeting I throw another phallic symbol at him? Oooookay." - Minders
2. "Wait...so I go to see him before he leaves, and I fix his bowtie? Isn't that really laying on the subtext?" - outside the box
1. What I did with pool cue wasn't enough? Have you seen what I can do to a water bottle? - Thayli
10. Reading up on Greek mythology - C.
9. Working on Recapping 102: Survival of the Wittiest - phantom_minuet
8. Getting a really state-of-the-art security system. - Minders
7. Resting his voice. - firestarter
6. Preparing a list of bad subediting snarks in advance, to be used whenever any piece of printed media is onscreen in SV. Saves time. - suzycat
5. Thanking the Recapping Gods that he wasn't assigned the Real World movie. - AmandaFM25
4. Writing the script of "Hoyay: The movie". I will definitely watch it. - AlejandraDD
3. Avoiding Smallville re-runs like the plague. - edie22
2. Perfecting his new "flipped out to Jesus (tm the boss himself)" hairdo, inspired by yours truly! - AmandaFM25
1. Lending Wendola his copy of "How to bring out the HoYay! in the DC Universe" - Gnosis
