Top Ten Reasons Why Bo and the Magnificent Bastard Broke Up - Shy
Top Ten Messages Recorded by the People of Smallville to Participate in a Dating Service - isabou
Top Ten Creative Ways to Use Cool Whip in Smallville - phantom_minuet
Top Ten Fraternity Initiations Lex Had to Suffer Through - Shy
Top Ten Things Overheard at a Justice League Convention - Shy
Top Ten Gay Superhero Names - Shy
Extra: Eyef*ckman and Subtext Boy, here they come in their USTmobile, they're the Double Entendre Duo! And now they're beating off the "bad men" in the purple leotards -- BOFF! SPANK! WHAM! BOINK! -- until everyone's lying limply unconscious or firmly bound at their feet. And then it's back to their secret lair, the long, dark, deep HomoerotiCave, to strip out of their costumes and reveal the parts of themselves (they think) only they and their houseboy know.... - Jackbugger
Top Ten Ways Lex Stops Himself from Jumping Clark - Jennifus
Top Ten Things You Really Don't Want to Know about Lionel - Shy
Extra: Lillian had him totally whipped. - outside the box
Top Ten Things Lex Would Say or Do if He Witnessed the Clana - outside the box
Extra: "Ms. Lang, when I said we had a deal, this was not part of it." - Jackbugger
Top Ten Titles of Lionel's (auto)Biography - C.
10. Lionel couldn't abide the fact that his competition had an udder. - firestarter
9. Bo was the worst fuck Lionel ever had . - autumnyte
8. Lionel insisted on fencing for the right to be on top. - phantom_minuet
7. Jonathan refused to go to gay clubs with Lionel because he didn't want the other club-goers to check him out in the men's room. - edie22
6. Even Lionel was squicked by Bo's habit of mooing when he, er, "achieves satisfaction." - Minders
5. Bo wanted the ring AND the ceremony! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
4. They had a threesome with another man named Martin. Lionel fell in love with Martin, and had nearly convinced him that they should commit only to each other, when Jonathan persuaded Martin to have a sex-change operation and marry him. Lionel never recovered from the betrayal. - C.
3. Lionel couldn't STAND the PLAtiTUDES any MORE! - Lex&Clark4ever
2. Bo was morally opposed to leather and all its uses (jackets, pants, whips...), 'cause the thought of all the good cows that were sacrificed to make that stuff broke his heart.... - isabou
1. Lionel wanted to go to Sydney, Australia for Pride Week, but Bo didn't want to leave Smallville, because he had to feed the cows ('cause I don't know if you heard, but apparently, they don't feed themselves! Who knew?) - isabou
10. Bessie the Cow: "How moooooooooo doin'?" - Minders
9. Every thing you may have heard about me sucking the heat out of people until they died is true, but, come on! I want to go out on a date! I'm a really cool guy! -- Sean Kelvin - AlejandraDD
8. Whitney: "I'm looking for a few good men!" - Lex&Clark4ever
7. Lana: "If you hate pancakes, give me a call!" - Lex&Clark4ever
6. Lana-"I'm looking for a man, any man!" She does the Selma tongue thing with the cigarette and promptly it sizzles. - Shy
5. "Hello. My name is Lionel Luthor, and I like to play games. Particularly games involving my son Lex. **holding up a picture** Isn't he lovely? He looks just like his mother. Please be aware that, if you answer this advertisement, you will probably end up sleeping with both of us. Lucky you." - phantom_minuet
4. "Hi, I'm Bo and I'm looking for someone to love until the cows come home." - Lex&Clark4ever
3. "Hi. I'm Clark." *blushes* -- Need he say anything more? - C.
2. Lex tried to make one, but he smoldered directly into the video camera, and it melted. - Minders
1. "I'm Martha, and I'm bored. I'm surrounded by handsome men 24/7--my husband, my son, my son's love muffin. A woman can only take so much masculine pulchritude before she needs a change. So, if you're homely and fond of pie, call me." - phantom_minuet
10. Chloe's hair gel - C.
9. Pie topping. - firestarter
8. It can be used as something to lick from Lex's head. - lex'sbabe
7. Used to polish meteor rocks to a high gloss - phantom_minuet
6. It's SUCH a wonderful lubricant! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
5. Three words:Better than CHEESE! - Shy
4. Lipstick (it worked in Nicodemus) - Thayli
3. Doin' Whippits with the cows! - Gnosis
2. Used to thicken Lana's makeup to projectile proportions.... - Shy
1. Sweetener for another white, foamy snack.... - Shy
10. Had to lie on the highway divider lines with cars whizzing by him without flinching (Lex had no problem with this cause once you have had a speeding meteor rock bearing down on you from space, most other things seem like a cake walk). - Gnosis
9. Being beaten with paddles. Again, not a problem. In fact, Lex narrowly missed being excluded for enjoying it too much. - suzycat
8. Being stripped naked and having chocolate sauce and whipped cream spread on him by a flannel-clad farm boy...wait, did you say fraternity stunts or just what to do on an ordinary Saturday night in Smallville? I am confused.... - mrslexluthor
7. He just said to them "Do you wanna know why they called me "Head Job Luthor"? Theoretically the Frat had no choice but to let him in. - outside the box
6. Panty raid. Although Lex caused something of a minor sensation and instituted a new frat house tradition when he insisted on equal time for a boxer shorts raid. - phantom_minuet
5. Branding--Though Lex pretended to mishear it as "Brandy", and what drunken Frat would refuse a lifetime supply of that? - autumnyte
4. He refused to participate in any silly hazing rituals. He simply bought them a new frat house. - Minders
3. He had to pick up a bing cherry with his buttocks and drop it in a shot glass. However, Lex really impressed the others when he also dropped the cherry stem into the glass tied in a knot. - Bulletproof Monk
2. Lex refused to eat the bucket of pickles because they reminded him to much on his father's...Oh, nevermind. - voodoogoddess
1. Cross dress and enter a sorority for a week. But the girls got too jealous cause he was SO popular with all the boys, they kicked him out...only the purple stilleto pumps can comfort his anguish. - Shy
10. "...and did you see his latest ad for a sidekick in Heroes Monthly? It goes 'Wanted! Pre-teen male gymnast, preferrably an orphan, with supple athletic body looking for some rough and tumble action after dark. Slim legs, pouty lips a plus! Respond to D. Knight, Gotham.' I swear the guy is a total frea...oh, hi Batman! How are you!?" - Bulletproof Monk
9. "I keep trying to tell him, 'Flash, honey, slow down a little. You're done before I even get my tights off.'" - phantom_minuet
8. "I don't know what I was thinking when I designed this outfit. Was I drunk?" - Minders
7. "Psst. Wonder Woman stuffs, pass it on." - autumnyte
6. "...and have you ever noticed that whenever we beat the Injustice League, how Supes has to bend Luthor over a desk and grind his crotch against Lex's ass as he's tying him up? What's that all about!?" "...yeah, and Luthor is all moaning and I swear I once heard him say, 'That's it...that's it...I'm a bad boy...oh, Clark, are those the panties your mother laid out for you?' What the hell does that mean?" - Bulletproof Monk
5. "What's Mera looking so pissed off about?" "Apparently, Aquaman took his trident for a midnight swim with some little convention cutie-pie last night." - phantom_minuet
4. "Is anyone going to that panel titled Revenge, Mwahahaha, sponsored by the Injustice League?" - C.
3. "Superman, Batman...this is no time to be discussing who has the bigger...muscles." - Lex&Clark4ever
2. "Look, Bruce, I know you want to talk about it...it's just...Clark Kent brought Lana Lang with him, and we really can't take much more of it…." - outside the box
1. "Before we commence, we'd just like to thank Martha Kent for contributing this wonderful pie, to help fuel us in our fight against EVil!" - Shy
10. Uh...Superman? - emelerin
9. Bathman and Disrobin' - phantom_minuet
8. Mr. Fantastic - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
7. Mr. FABulous! - AmandaFM25
6. Queen Lantern - AmandaFM25
5. Wonder Womyn - AmandaFM25
4. Aqua-Net Man (the drag queen with the FABulous bouffant hairdo). - Minders
3. Queen Hornet (or Green Horny) - firestarter
2. Wonder Gertrude Stein! - Bulletproof Monk
1. And number one with a bullet (which bounces harmlessly off his FABulous ensemble): Captain Marvel-ous - phantom_minuet
10. He pictures Bo, with a shotgun. - Thayli
9. He bends over and holds tightly onto...his desk. - voodoogoddess
8. He meditates. His mantra? "Underaged, illegal sodomy is bad. Underaged, illegal sodomy is bad…." - Jennifus
7. Sticks his hands deep, deep down into his own pockets. - phantom_minuet
6. He plays pool to keep his hands busy, and drinks Ty Nant to quell that nasty oral fixation. - Thayli
5. He pictures Lana talking about her tragically pancaked parents. - AmandaFM25
4. He rambles on and on about historical figures. - autumnyte
3. He thinks about how many people can fit into Lionel's bathtub. - Shy
2. He pays for movies where a look-alike Clark delivers more than produce.... - Shy
1. Clark jumps him instead. - Shy
10. When he climaxed with Victoria he called her "Mommy." - AmandaFM25
9. Insider trading tips on any of his stocks. - firestarter
8. That thing he does with the TV remote control and crunchy Peanut Butter and the frozen chicken and the aluminum foil and the studded cock-ring.... - Weredonut
7. Why he goes through 4 pet gerbils a month. - autumnyte
6. phantom_minuet -
5. Why he calls his hairbrush "Slappy". -
4. He once had Dominic buy Lex a gift at the doller store - spikey 72202
3. What, specifically, Dominic had to promise he would do before he let Dominic out of the trunk. - Minders
2. His relationship with HIS father! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!
1. The number of people in Smallville he literally screwed over. (When poor young Jonathan learned he wasn't his only lover, why he was just crushed, and never trusted a Luthor again!) - Roz0908
10. "You said I was the Only One!" ::throws water in his face:: - outside the box
9. "Lana, you're doing it all wrong. Clark likes it when you...." - queenofalostart
8. "That does it. She's toast." - phantom_minuet
7. He quietly observes for a moment, then asks, "Was her upper lip moving at all? 'Cause it didn't look like it from here." He then grabs Clark by the front of his flannel and demonstrates proper technique. - Minders
6. You want her? Fine! I guess it's just a life of super-villainy for me then! - Gnosis
5. "Lana...Someone said they just saw your parents standing outside. Better hurry." - autumnyte
4. "That does it. She's pancakes." - voodoogoddess
3. ["Clueless" voice] "Pshuh! As if!" [/"C"v] - Minders
2. "Clark, I specifically said NO THREESOMES!!" - AlejandraDD
1. "Eeew. Clark, that doll isn't even lifelike, what a crap practical joke. At least Melissa...Dear God in Heaven, it's ALIVE!!" - Roz0908
10. Better Living Through Schadenfreude - C.
9. Giving the devil his due - Cynthia187
8. No Regrets: What are regrets? - aotearoa_gal
7. How to make enemies and influence people. - autumnyte
6. Headgames by the Master (Or How I Learned to Incorporate Phallic Symbols Into Everyday Conversations) - DCookKC
5. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ruthless Corporate Takeovers - AmandaFM25
4. Tales from the Lion's Den: The Mane Makes the Man - AmandaFM25
3. "I'm Okay, You're Powerless and Exploitable" - phantom_minuet
2. How to bring the Ho!Yay into any situation - aotearoa_gal
1. A Ballbusting Work of Staggering Genius. - firestarter
