Top Ten Skits from When the Cast of Smallville Goes on The Muppet Show - greenman

10. Statler: Why doesn't Lex just jump that Clark fellow?
Waldorf: Why did Lisa-Marie marry Michael Jackson? Idiocy is rife. But when we're dead, we won't care! - aotearoa_gal

  9. Fozzie Clark: Wire for Lex Luthor! Wire for Lex Luthor! Are you Lex Luthor?
Lex: Yes, I'm Lex Luthor.
Fozzie Clark hands him a coat hanger

Fozzie Clark: Letter for Lex Luthor! Letter for Lex Luthor! Are you Lex Luthor?
Lex: Yes, I'm Lex Luthor.
Fozzie Clark hands him a cardboard A

Fozzie Clark: Note for Lex Luthor! Note for Lex Luthor! Are you Lex Luthor?
Lex: **sighing** Yes, I'm Lex Luthor.
Fozzie Clark: La!

Statler: Was that skit supposed to be funny?
Waldorf: I have a better question. Was that skit supposed to be done in the nude? - phantom_minuet

  8. Statler: Watching that Clark Kent save the farm makes me feel like a young man again.
Waldorf : Me too, I think I'll go find one. - firestarter

  7. Clark, an alien alone on a moon-like planet sings "You Are My Sunshine."
Lex, naked, suddenly pops out of a crater and blows him away.
Statler: Wait, that wasn't the kind of blowing in the original sketch!
Waldorf: Shhhhhhhhhh! - Minders


  6. Veterinarian's Hospital
Voiceover: Tune in next week, when we'll hear Nurse Chloe say...
Chloe: **looking around frantically** Where's that voice coming from? - phantom_minuet

  5. Miss Piggy: So you're the new starlet, hmmmm?
Kristin Kreuk: Well, I don't know if I'm a starlet. I just work on this TV show "Smallville".
Miss Piggy: Oh, TV, is it TV then? No movie roles? I've done movie roles, major ones.
Kristin Kreuk: I'm sure you have.
Miss Piggy: Oh, oh, oh, are you being condescending to moi, little miss TV starlet? Take that!
Miss Piggy delivers a resounding kick to Kristin's head. Kristin falls back, cross-eyed, then recovers and karate-chops Miss Piggy. They square off for combat.
Statler: All-female wrestling! This is exactly what this show needs!
Waldorf: No, no, what this show needs is more Hoyay! Let's see Clark and Lex wrestle!
Statler: Waldorf, do you mean what I think you mean?
Waldorf: You know what I mean! Come here, you rough darling!
Statler and Waldorf fall down onto the floor together, out of sight. Panting is heard. - i know Nothing! NOTHING!

  4. Dr. Hamilton: "I'm Dr. Bunsen Hamilton. Welcome to Cadmus Labs, where we bring you the future today. This is my assistant Pete-ker. Say hello, Pete-ker."
Pete: [muffled squeaky sound]
Dr. Hamilton: "Today, we're experimenting with a new variety of Kryptonite -- lavender! We're not sure what it does, but it seems to have quite an effect on our subjects."
(indicates Clark and Lex, both in separate cages, rattling the bars. Finally, both manage to break out of their cages, run to each other in the middle of the lab and begin making out passionately)
Pete: [really rapid squeaky noises, sounding very alarmed as the lab is destroyed in the whirlwind of passion]
Dr. Hamilton: (from under a pile of debris) "Thanks for joining us today. Tune in next time when we see what the other colors do!"
Statler: Well, that was pointless!
Waldorf: I don't know about that -- I think a couple of things were pointy in that one. - Minders

  3. Kermit: It's the Muppet Show! With our special guest-stars, the entire cast of the that great TV show "Smallville"! Yayyyyyyyy!
Statler: "Smallville"? Isn't that the show that's gay as hell?
Waldorf: No, no, you're thinking of "Dawson's Creek"!
Statler: No, that one's bad as hell. Do I mean "Felicity"?
Waldorf: No. That one's boring as hell.
Kermit: Guys? Guys? We're trying to do a show here!
Statler: That's it! It's this show! It's bad, it's boring, it's...gay?
Waldorf: You said it, not me! - i know Nothing! NOTHING!

  2. Chorus:
It's time to play some moo-sic.
It's time to move like light.
It time to meet the HoYay
On the Smallville Show tonight.

It's time to put on make-up (Not so much, Clark!)
It's time to dress up right. (Nice pants, Lex.)
It time to raise, um, something
On the Smallville Show tonight.

Statler: Why do we always come here?
Waldorf: I guess we'll never know.
Statler: It's like a kind of torture
Waldorf: To watch them woo so slow.

Kermit the Kryptonite-Mutated Frog: Now get the eyefucks started.
Statler and Waldorf: Yes, get those eyefucks started.

Chorus:
On the most sensational, fic-inspirational, celebrational, subtext-ational...
This is what we call the Smallville Show! - phantom_minuet

  1. Inspired by Phantom, and my apologies to Joe Rapposo:
Clark sits in the loft and sings:

"It's not that easy being a teen
In Smallville when you're an alien being
When I have to save Lana, or Chloe, or Pete.
When there's something better here than that.

It's not easy being a teen
Who is secretly lusting after the local boy king
And you'd think it'll pass you over, but he stands out
Like flashy sparkles in the water or
Stars in the sky.

But Dad thinks my friend is a fluke
(What does he know? He was Bo Duke.)
And Mom thinks the answer is pie, but it's not
You know why?

Cause Lana makes my skin turn green
But Lex is my everything
His bald head, his lingering gaze,
It's beautiful!
And I think it's where I want to be." - public defender