Top Ten Native American Names for Smallville Residents - firestarter
Top Ten Rejected Platitudes from Bo's "Platitude of the Day" Calendar (tm Omar) - AmandaFM25
Top Ten Jobs that a Smallville Obsessed Fan Could Do to Get Them Closer to the Object of Their Smallville Desire, Without Seeming Like a Crazy! - raeblackman
Top Ten Songs to be Sung if Smallville Did a Musical a la Buffy's "Once More with Feeling." - DantesFire
Extra: "Elephant Love Medley" by Lex and Clark. - brighid
Top Ten Ways Lex can Discreetly Show his Love for Clark - slodwick
Pete's Top Ten Pick Up Lines - Tall Poppy
Top 10 Things You Should Never Do in Smallville - Funky Chicken of Death
Extra: Inquire about the dead bodies regularly popping up, or why exactly it is that the Kent boy and the Luthor boy stare at each other that way.... - madmouth
Top Ten Titles for Roger Nixon's Biography - slodwick
Top Ten Places Lex Will Take Clark on Their First Date - Tresca
Chloe's Top Ten Wall of Weird Stories That They Couldn't Put on TV - Honoria
10. Lionel "Spitting Bull" Luthor. - firestarter
9. Lex "Head for Licking" Luthor - Starcat
8. Lana "Eyes Like a Raccoon" Lang - _firefly
7. Pete "Wasn't Invited on His Own Vision Quest" Ross - justjoan
6. Lana "Continues to Defy the Laws of Natural Selection" Lang - joyfulgirl41
5. Nell "Dropped off the Planet" Potter - slodwick
4. Jonathan 'Feeds His Cows' Kent. - JenHall
3. Bossie "I Can Feed My Damn Self" Cow - slodwick
2. Clark "Apples in Cheeks" Kent - _firefly
1. Whitney "Runs with the Big Boys" Fordham - Starcat
10. A smell of petroleum prevails throughout. - Clark'N'Lana4Ever!!!!!
9. It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide. - Clark'N'Lana4Ever!!!!!
8. All your base are belong to us - Clark'N'Lana4Ever!!!!!
7. The road to Lex is paved with sexual intentions.... - Cynthia187
6. The early bird gets shot first - Elrond50
5. A mutation a day keeps the Dr. away. - Coriolanus
4. A worm in the bush is better than in the hand. - psiren
3. Two preternaturally pretties do not a good couple make. - wileykit666
2. When you laugh, the world laughs with you. When you cry, the world laughs at you. - outside the box
1. Son, don't spelunk at the Luthor mansion. Go pound those posts into the ground like god intended. - madmouth
10. Key Grip - Cynthia187
9. Wardrobe. Because, well... you know. - Funky Chicken of Death
8. Makeup. Because I'd actually get to touch Lex. - JenHall
7. On-site masseuse - anotherguitarchick
6. Hair Stylist - Cynthia187
5. Official shaver of MR's head..."No Michael, that was the *shaving cream*, why would I lick your head?" - joyfulgirl41
4. Personal bodyguard. Every Lex needs a Mercy, right? - justjoan
3. Cameraman. The Dillo needs much more attention than what has been devoted to him so far. I can fix that, easily. - denara
2. Writer (not much talent required.) - DantesFire
1. Stunt double (my sis wants to be either a Chloe or Lana double as long as TW hold her in his arms.) - DantesFire
10. Lex singing "Can you read my mind" (Remember that scene in Superman the Movie.) - DantesFire
9. "Pretty When You Cry" by VAST, as performed at some point in the distant future, by Evil!Lex. - slodwick
8. "The Passenger" by Iggy Pop, to be sung by Lionel - Lyonside
7. 'I Feel Pretty' to be sung by Blana. Or, if he was feeling especially gay, Clark. - wileykit666
6. "Invisible Man" by Joshua Kadison, sung by Pete. Who gets cut off by someone else before he gets past the first verse. - Honoria
5. A variation of the "Tomay-toe, Tomah-toe song" called "Tornay-doe, Tornah-doe", sung as a duet by Clark and Lana while they are in the tornado. "Let's call the whole thing off...." - DantesFire
4. "Stronger" by Britney Spears, as sung by Chloe. - Brooding_Soul
3. Quite obviously, "Superman" by Five For Fighting by Clark, since someone pointed out a while ago that the song is as mopey as he is. - AmandaFM25
2. "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred (who were also bald) sung by Lex - AmandaFM25
1. Lex singing Cindy Lauper's version of "All Through the Night", in an attempt to convince Clark to spend the night at the castle. - Cynthia187
10. Give him a truck. Oh wait...he did.... - BlueFroggy
9. Feed the cows. With him or for him. - JenHall
8. Agree to help Lana save the Talon from becoming a parking lot.
Lana: My parents, blahblahblahsmooshedcakes.
Lex: Yeah. Whatever. Parking Garage.
Lana: Clark suggested....
Lex: Clark? Why didn't you say so? - disbelief
7. Give him a key to every car he owns. (I was going to say complete access to the Manor but EVERYONE seems to be able to waltz in there at any point.) - Elrond50
6. Wear flannel in public. (Just once. We don't want any permanent damage done.) - justjoan
5. Go on the annual fishing trip with Bo so Clark won't have to. - Thayli
4. Hire (or force, whatever) Tom Jones to come and sing "You Are So Beautiful" for him. Like Burnsy did when he was in love with Marge. - outside the box
3. Give him a diamond ring - Cynthia187
2. Play "In Your Eyes" really loud on a boom box hefted over his head while standing next to his Porsche on a hill over looking the farm, a la Say Anything - Rhiannonhero
1. Send him a love letter with the words to Dusty Springfield's 'Believe Me' ("You don't have to say you love me, just be close at hand...") written in it. - Tall Poppy
10. "Yeah! Date me!" - Tall Poppy
9. "...." - Brooding_Soul
8. "Oh yeah...Lex and I go waaaaaay back" - Cynthia187
7. "We could have Clark chaperone..." - SingularElv
6. Please date me. This pickup line is the only line they're giving me this week. - Gnosis
5. You have to date me. Most of the other guys on this show are a bit... funny, if you know what I mean. - JenHall
4. You know the last girl I dated tried to suck the fat out of me. - Gnosis
3. Can I get you a bratwurst for that mayo? *winkwink* - madmouth
2. Hey, think of it this way. If we get involved in a steamy, angsty, romantic subplot, I'll get more screen time and you might take Whitney's place on the opening credits! It's win-win! - SingularElv
1. Hey...I hear you're a Remy Zero fan.... - Funky Chicken of Death
10. Stand near the Langs after a game...unless you like pancakes.... - Tonicat
9. Play with / make jewelry out of / eat the pretty, glowy green rocks. - Kimiko
8. Take up a hobby that reflects your innermost desires around said shiny green rocks - steptacular
7. Make fun of bald people. - Thayli
6. Get a ride with Whitney Fordman. - AmandaFM25
5. Beat that Kent kid with an object you really appreciate, unless you want to have said object in a million CGI pieces. - AlejandraDD
4. Insult the Kent's cows - DantesFire
3. Ask Lana how she's doing. Or any question that will get her talking about her parents. (Like where's the IHOP?) - DantesFire
2. Take a stab at the creamed corn business. - outside the box
1. Never do anything with less than 10 plans. - slodwick
10. Of Cueballs and TyNant: To Love a Bald Man - madmouth
9. If You're Reading This, I Must Be Dead - Fleegull
8. Cows that Bite and Their Wicked Overlord: Why I'm Never Going into Storm Cellars Ever Again - outside the box
7. My Intermitent Southern Accent and I. - AlejandraDD
6. Leaving A Bad Taste In My Mouth: My Adventures Of Being A Luthor Bitch - Bulletproof Monk
5. Luthorgate - kleenexwoman
4. When Blackmail Bites You in the Ass: The Story of Roger Nixon - emma675
3. How Not to Blackmail the Locals (alternately titled 101 Ways to End up Dead.) - edie22
2. How To Be A Complete Tool Of The Man by Roger Nixon - Bulletproof Monk
1. Roger! Baby! You are going to be filthy rich! AKA: Talking to Yourself and 7 Other Habits of Highly Effective Sycophants - Tresca
10. Blue Oyster Bar - Bulletproof Monk
9. To bed - Elrond50
8. Disney World (with a thorough and detailed plan of attack, that includes several trips through the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse) - slodwick
7. Movies and then a chocolate shake with 2 straws at Pop's Chocolate Shoppe. - Tresca
6. The baths. - Brooding_Soul
5. To the tailors. Where Lex will personally measure his inseam, and buy him a reinforced gusset. - wileykit666
4. The alley behind the Torch - Brooding_Soul
3. Alexander the Great's birthplace - Tresca
2. Shopping in Metropolis, to buy Clark at least one shirt that emphasizes his delectable-ness. - disbelief
1. "Straight to heaven, baby!" - Honoria
10. Boobs McChesty's kryptonite breasts, Hootie and Blowfish. - anotherguitarchick
9. A new fast food chain opens up, but Chloe, Clark and their Mystery Machine discover that...Kryptoburgers are PEOPLE! They're PEOPLE!!!! - Tresca
8. What happens when you grow marijuana in kryptonite-laced soil. - AmandaFM25
7. The man who became, quite literally, flamingly gay after using kryptonite anal beads. - Starcat
6. Clark and Lex are caught in a crisis when someone replaces their normal brand with KryptoLube. - Tresca
5. Well, one day some kryptonite falls from the sky and ... and ... *sniffle* it ... *sob* ... crushes .... *bursts into tears* I can't say it! It's too horrible! The poor Langs! They'd never show something that bad on national TV. It's just too sad. - SingularElv
4. The mutated offspring of two Krypto freaks. - Elrond50
3. A kid is exposed to meteor rocks for a prolonged period of time and - get this - nothing happens! - anotherguitarchick
2. Clark decides he likes pain. Especially around Lex. Episode revolves around their "experiments" with the green glowy rocks. - Tresca
1. The mysterious chain of flagrant homosexual behaviour by erstwhile straight men ever since the Luthors took an interest in Smallville. - suzycat
