Same Sex Marriages For as long as the institution of marriage has been around, so too has the belief that it represents the union of one man and one woman.  Now gay men and lesbians are challenging that institution.  They believe that their relationships mean the same in their sphere as do heterosexual marriages in our sphere.  Therefore, homosexuals would like to see their marriages legalized. In 1991, three gay couples filed a lawsuit in Hawaii for denying them marriage licenses.  They claim that the refusal amounts to gender discrimination, which violates the Equal Rights Amendment.  Judge Kevin Chang ruled, in 1996, that same-sex couples have the right to legally marry.  This ruling makes Hawaii the first state to recognize that gay and lesbian couples are entitled, by law, to the same privileges as heterosexual married couples (Leong).  Under the Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution, this also forces all states to recognize these marriages as far as federal benefits are concerned.  Congress has approved a bill, the Defense of Marriage Act, which will allow states to decide whether to recognize homosexual marriages.  The second part of the bill would define, “for federal purposes,” the union of a man and a woman.  Under such a definition gays and lesbians, even if they win the right to marry in Hawaii or elsewhere, would not be able to file joint federal tax returns, claim federal pension, survivor's benefits, or be allowed to file for green card status (CNN). Should gay people fight for the right to marry?  Gay rights activists say absolutely.  Gay couples should be afforded the same benefits as heterosexual couples.  The legal status of marriage rewards the two individuals with substantial economic and practical advantages.  Married couples can file joint tax returns.  Social security provides benefits for surviving spouses and their dependents.  They can inherit money and property from one another without a will.  They are immune from testifying against a spouse, and marriage to an American citizen gives a foreigner the right to residency in the United States (Announcing).  Another advantage would be health insurance provided by employers.  These benefits usually include the employee and their spouse. Employers generally will not include a partner who is not married to an employee, whether of the same sex or not.  Also, very few insurance companies will extend benefits to domestic partners who are not married (Underwood). Gay marriages are highly emotional topics in the 21st century.  Many people feel that gay marriages would show heterosexual people how much two people can love each other regardless of sexual orientation.  Homosexuals say that their relationships are more than just sex with someone of the same gender.  Homosexual relationships include the same feelings and emotions as heterosexual relationships.  “People have become used to the idea of defining gay people solely in terms of sexual acts,” says Gregory Herek, a research psychologist at the University of California, Davis (Underwood).                                Most people when asked the question “What is your opinion of gay relationships?” admit that their first response encompasses sex, promiscuity, and AIDS.  When asked about heterosexual relationships they generally answer with love, companionship, and families.  If same-sex marriage is made legal, the next generation won't think of it as taboo.  It will just be another way of life (Gay Marriages?). All of the controversy has opened the door to discuss families, parenting, and equality for lesbians and gays.  Homosexuals believe that they will be able to raise children in the same loving, stable household that most children have with heterosexual parents.  Lesbians and gays do not seek a special place in America but merely to be a full and equal part of America, to give back to society without being forced to lie or hide or live as second-class citizens (Fleming).  Andrew Sullivan, senior editor of The New Republic says, “At some point in our lives, some of us are lucky enough to meet the person we truly love.  And we want to commit to that person in front of our family and country for the rest of our lives.  Gay marriage seeks to change no one else's rights or marriages in any way.  It seeks merely to promote monogamy, fidelity and the disciplines of family life among people who have long been cast to the margins of society (Johnson).” Some religious leaders are the most forceful advocates of same-sex marriage.  In Hawaii alone, many faiths such as the Reform and Reconstructionist branches of Judaism, Quaker, Buddhist, Episcopal and many individual Protestant congregations are involved in the pro-marriage campaign.  On the opposite side of the coin there are many faiths that condemn gay marriage, such as the Catholic religion.  They feel that these people defy the Bible (Announcing). Ultimately the battle may not be so much about winning the right to marriage as about winning new levels of respect for gay relationships.  Evan Wolfson, senior staff attorney for the gay organization Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, says, “Winning or losing any particular battle over marriage is not all that's at stake here.  What's at stake is a historical moment to change the position of gay people in society.  If we do the work right, all kinds of gains will come from it, apart from the outcome of any particular battle,” he says (Gay Marriages Should be Allowed). Opponents of same-sex marriage feel that giving recognition to this new way of life will break down the value system set up by heterosexuals.  “We need to strengthen, not weaken, the institution of marriage,” said Governor Pete Wilson. Ministers say marriage is one of the most impenetrable institutions of modern society.  It provides the ultimate form of acceptance for personal intimate relationships in our society.  People in today's society can talk about homosexuality with a group of friends without feeling like the issue has been dropped in their lap.  When faced with the situation, many people don't know how to act in the presence of gay or lesbian couples.  They tend to walk on eggshells for fear that they will say something to offend that person or their lifestyle (Gay Marriages). Children are influenced by their parents and peers on such issues as divorce and inter-racial marriage.  Some believe that if we allow same-sex marriage, children will become more confused by social relations than they already are.  “Children do best in a family with a mom and a dad,” said Tom Delay.  “Accepting same-sex marriage,” he said, “will only take us further down the road to social deterioration (Johnson).” Gay rights activists have been fighting for many years against discrimination based on sex and/or sexual orientation.  Now that they want the same recognition religiously and financially, as heterosexual couples, the silent community speaks out.  “There is no other issue on the American landscape where there is such a strong political consensus - Americans oppose homosexual marriages,” said the Rev. Lou Sheldon, chairman of the Traditional Values Coalition.  A survey conducted in June 1995 found that only 33 percent agreed with the persuasively phrased statement, “If two people love each other, they should be able to get married even if they are of the same sex (Fleming).” In my opinion, the fact that Americans are too closed minded to recognize love between individuals, based solely on sex, is depressing.  If we can’t learn to accept one another, how can we think that we are bettering our society?  Homosexuals should be provided the same rights as everyone else.  The concept of love is not changed by sexual orientation. Works Cited “Announcing Same-Sex Unions.”  The Boston Globe  (December 2, 1996):  15A. CNN Interactive.  “Hawaiian Judge Upholds Same-Sex Marriages.”  http://www.cnn.com/US/9612/03/same.sex.marriage/  March 31, 2001. Fleming, Ramona.  “Groom to Groom.”  Newsweek 224:7 (May 23, 1993):  68-70. “Gay Marriage?”  The Guide (October 1995) 15. "Gay Marriages Should be Allowed, State Judge Rules." The Wall Street Journal (Dec. 4, 1996) 54-57. Johnson, Samuel.  “10 Arguments Against Same-Sex Marriages.”  Time (August 14, 1995):  77-80. Leong, Damon Key.  “The Hawaii Same-Sex Marriage Issue.”  http://www.hawaiilawyer.com/same_sex/samesex.htm  March 31, 2001. Underwood, Anne.  “Do You, Tom, Take Harry…”  Newsweek 240:4 (December 11, 1995):  24-26.