(A press briefing)
CJ: The President will sign the bill with 15 pens, and I guess someone on my staff wanted you to know that.
Danny: CJ?
CJ: Tell me you don't have a question about the pens.
Danny: I have a question about the pens.
CJ: Yes, Danny?
Danny: Josiah Bartlet has 13 letters in it -- how's the President going to use 15 pens?
CJ: Danny.
Danny: I was just --
CJ: You know you're the only one in the room doing the math on that, right?
Danny: I just --
CJ: Only one in the room.
Danny: My readers expect a little bit more.
CJ: Fifteen pens, 13 letters, they must have stuck something in here about... Yes, he is going to -- interesting -- he is going to literally dot the i and cross the t's.
Danny: Thank you.
CJ: Freak boy.
Danny: Thank you again.

CJ: Carol, dotting the i, crossing the t's, thank you for that.
Carol: We do our homework.
CJ: You misspelled senator.

Sam: We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
Toby: What chats?
Sam: Our late-night chats.
Toby: Did we ever do that?
Sam: (grudgingly) No.

Mrs. Landingham: Did you say you wanted a banana?
Bartlet: No.
Mrs. Landingham: Nancy, run and get the President a banana.
Bartlet: I really don't want a banana.
Nancy: Are you sure, sir?
Bartlet: Yes, thank you.
Mrs. Landingham: It's got lots of potassium.
Bartlet: I'm done talking to you now.

Toby: I was raised on Sesame Street, I was raised on Julia Child, I was raised on Brideshead Revisited -- their legacy is safe in my hands.(CJ laughs)You got a problem?
CJ: You watched cooking shows?
Toby: I watched Miss Julia Child.

(Mrs. Landingham sees Bartlet reading the sex ed report)
Mrs. Landingham: Would you like to share what's in that report, sir?
Bartlet: With you?
Mrs. Landingham: Yes sir.
Bartlet: No.
Mrs. Landingham: May I ask why not, sir?
Bartlet: Because I'd rather not be in therapy for the rest of my life.

Donna: Why give them all the stories we aren't wild about on Friday?
Josh: Cause the press has x-column inches to fill. They're going to fill them no matter what. So if we give them one story, it's x column inches....
Donna: Why on Friday.
Josh: Cause nobody reads the paper on Saturday.

Sam: There's a town in Alabama that wants to abolish all laws except the Ten Commandments. . . . Well, they're going to have a problem. . . . Coveting thy neighbor's wife, for instance. How're you going to enforce that one?

Man: We're going to hear stories about booze and pills and God knows what you did.
Leo: I think you should walk out of here right now. As a matter of fact, I think you should run.

Congressman Bruno: . . .I am throwing you a rope. . . . This is what happens when you put teenagers in the White House. You come close to perjury in this deposition.... I'd like to run hearings on the two of you being stupid. . . .

Leo: I wanted to meet you and I wanted you to meet me.... When you read in my personnel file that I'd been treated for alcohol and drug abuse, what went through your mind? Karen, it's okay, you can say it. The worst thing I'm empowered to do is fire you and I've already done that.
Karen Larson: My father drank a lot.
Leo: So did mine. In fact he died from it. He came home late one night very drunk. My mother was yelling at him. I'm not sure about what, but I heard the yelling downstairs from my bedroom. She came upstairs and he went out to the garage and shot himself in the head.
Karen Larson: Is that why you drank and took drugs?
Leo: Nah. I drank and took drugs cause I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic.
Karen Larson: How long did it take you to get cured?
Leo: I'm not cured. You don't get cured. I haven't had a drink or a pill in six and a half years. Which isn't to say I won't have one tomorrow.
Karen Larson: What would happen if you did?
Leo: I don't know. But probably a nightmare the likes of which both of our fathers experienced and me too.
Karen Larson: And, so after six and a half years you're still not allowed to have a drink?
Leo: The problem is that I don't want a drink. I want ten drinks.
Karen Larson: Are things that bad?
Leo: No. (laugh)
Karen Larson: Then why?
Leo: Because I'm an alcoholic.
Karen Larson: I don't understand.
Leo: I know. It's okay. Hardly anyone does. It's very hard to understand. . . . You haven't answered my question yet. When you saw my personnel file, when you saw I'd been through treatment, what went through your mind?
Karen Larson: . . .you have all these important decisions to make in your job. . . . People's lives. . . .
Leo: Karen, what you did caused a lot of problems. For me for the President for a lot of people we don't even know. But I'm not sure it wasn't a little bit brave. . . . You and I will give each other a second chance.

Josh: We want Congress to sign off on funds for a hundred thousand new teachers. They say fine, but you've got to stipulate that in sex ed. classes...
CJ: Abstinence only?
Josh: Yes.
CJ: I wouldn't have trouble passing such a class.

Sam: We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
Toby: What chats?
Sam: Our late night chats.
Toby: Did we ever do that?
Sam: No.

Danny: You know, eventually you're going to have to go on a date with me. You can't just keep grabbing me and kissing me.
CJ: I didn't grab...
Danny: Well you can. I don't mind or anything.
CJ: I didn't grab you. You grabbed me.
Danny: The first time. Second, third and fourth times you grabbed me.
CJ: That's because you...
Danny: All week long, just randomly grabbing me and kissing me. Like I said, I applaude the spirit, but I think there's... there's better things ahead, as I'm sure you're about to read.