Bartlet: CJ, look.
CJ: Don't start with me, Mr. President.
Bartlet: I was helping pass the time, I was being entertaining as well as instructive.
CJ: I'm back in America now; I have rights. I'm no longer belted down next to the passenger from hell.
Leo: Welcome back, Mr. President.
Bartlet: Leo, what are you doing here?
Leo: I needed a minute, sir. How was the flight.
Bartlet: It was great.
CJ: It was gruesome. If you'll look out the left side of the cabin you'll see the fjords. Then we got a history of the fjords. Then we got a quiz on the fjords. Do you have any idea how much I'd like to dress you up in lederhosen and drop-kick you into a fjord?

Rabbi Glasman: Vengeance is not Jewish.

Mandy: Who was the last president to commute a sentence?
Josh: Lincoln.
Mandy: Abraham?
Josh: No, Bert Lincoln.
CJ: I just wish I didn't know his mother's name was Sophia is all I'm saying.

Sam: Leo, there are times when we are absolutely nowhere.

Father Cavanaugh: Did you pray?
Bartlet: I did, Tom. I know it's hard to believe, but I prayed for wisdom.
Father Cavanaugh: And none came?
Bartlet: It never has. And I'm a little pissed off about that.

Sam: Why don't we execute people between sundown Friday and sundown Sunday.
Leo: Why? Don't tell me we don't execute people on the Sabbath!

Toby: Right at that moment, it seemed like what I should do.

Bartlet: We cannot execute some people and not execute others depending on the mood of the Oval Office. It's cruel and unusual.

Sam: The United States is one of five countries that puts to death people under 18.

Priest: God is the only one who gets to kill people.

Josh: I'm going to look like the Gorton's fisherman in this thing!

Donna: Are you going to listen to me from now on?
Josh: I'm not listening to you now.
Donna: I SAID, ARE YOU GONNA LISTEN?
Josh: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!

Josh: By the way, Sam. Joey Lucas is waiting for me in my office right now.
Sam: What's he like?
Josh: Well, for a Campaign Manager he's got very nice legs.
Sam: He's a woman.
Josh: Yes, he is, and he's also deaf and very pissed off.