(Toby walks in on a group of co-workers about to celebrate Mendoza's confirmation)
Toby: Put it down! Put it down! No champagne.
Bonnie: Toby, we're just getting ready to --
Toby: Put it down. Everyone in this room, let me have your attention, please. The law of our land mandates that presidential appointees be confirmed by a majority of the Senate, a majority being half plus one for a total of what, Ginger?
Ginger: 51.
Toby: 51 yea votes is what we see on these screens before a drop of wine is swallowed! Because there's a little thing called what, Bonnie?
Bonnie: Tempting fate?
Toby: Tempting fate is what it's called. In the three months this man has been on my radar screen I have aged 48 years. This is my day of jubilee, I will not have it screwed up by what, Bonnie?
Bonnie: By tempting fate.
Toby: By tempting fate! These things take patience. These things take skill. These things take luck. In the 15 months we've been in office what kind of luck have we had,Ginger?
Ginger: Bad luck.
Toby: What kind of luck?
Ginger: Very bad luck.
Toby: We've had very bad luck.

Donna: Josh, how can you not know the difference between a panda bear and a koala bear?
Josh: You know, for someone who hasn't quite mastered the alphabet --
Donna: My penmanship is distinctive.

Sam: It's my day of jubilee.
Mallory: I despise you and everything you stand for.
Sam: All right, my day was a little bit better a few seconds ago but that's all right.

Mallory: Don't play dumb with me.
Sam: No, honestly, I am dumb. Most of the time I'm playing smart.

Josh: Leo, I'm a white guy from Connecticut.
Leo: We've met, Josh.
Josh: I'm saying, isn't this kind of a delicate subject for me to get into with a black civil rights lawyer from Athens, Georgia?
Leo: Remember you're also Jewish.
Josh: Then he's sure to love me.

Toby: You're talking to me during The Jackal?

Leo: I don't mind you dating my only daughter but you can't expect me not to have some fun along the way.
Sam: Mallory and I haven't actually been on a date yet.
Leo: Well you hang in there, son.

Josh: You didn't want to talk to me about banana bars by any chance, did you?
Mandy: Panda bears.
Josh: Donna has stylish penmanship.
Mandy: I think we should get a panda bear.
Josh: You say that now but I'm the one who's gonna end up feeding him and walking him.

Sam: "On schedule" is going to be my middle name from now on. Seriously, I'm having it legally changed.

Charlie: I hear you burned down the place last night.
CJ: The Jackal?
Charlie: Yes.
CJ: I can bring it.

Margaret: Hey, Toby.
Toby: Hey there, Margaret.
Margaret: Are you okay?
Toby: Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
Margaret: You don't usually say "Hey there, Margaret."
Toby: What do I usually say?
Margaret: You usually growl something inaudible.
Toby: Not today.
Margaret: I see.
Toby: You, on the other hand, should turn that frown upside down.
Margaret: I'm sorry?
Toby: Let a smile be your umbrella, Margaret.
Margaret: Okay now you're scaring the crap out of me, Toby.
Toby: (sings) Grey skies are gonna clear up -- Hey, Bobby -- Put on a happy face -- Hi,Janet.

CJ: Those really are nice suspenders.

Mandy: You got two seconds?
Toby: Madeline, you are charming, you are brilliant, and for you I have all the time in the world.
Mandy: What's with him?
Ginger: It's the day after his day of jubilee.
Bonnie: He never stays in a good mood this long.
Toby: Bonnie, you are dedicated and you are beautiful. And Ginger, you are other nice things.

Toby: I feel like I've lost 180 pounds. I am smiling, I am laughing, I am enjoying the people I work with -- I gotta snap outta this. What's on your mind.
Mandy: I want you to help me get the Chinese to give us a new panda bear to replace LumLum.
Toby: Well that did the trick.

CJ: Cool, I'm gonna go check the want ads.

Toby: They give us two regular bears, a bucket of black paint, a bucket of white paint, bam bam next case.
Mandy: It's hard to believe that the wildlife lobby was nervous about you.
Toby: I know, I'm Mr. Wildlife.

(POTUS is reading "Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation" by George Washington)
Bartlet: "When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even without putting one on the other or crossing them. Put not off your clothes while in the presence of others, nor go out of your chamber half-dressed." What a tight-assed little priss he must have been.
Charlie: Yes sir.
Bartlet: Do you think I could have taken George Washington?

Bartlet: "When in company put not your hands to any part of the body not usually covered."
CJ: Well, I do what it takes to keep the press corps happy, Mr. President.

Leo: (to Sam) I don't mind you dating my ONLY daughter, but you can't expect me not to have some fun along the way.

Mandy: Help me.
Toby: What do you want?
Mandy: Cause Josh pain.
Toby: Hm. Okay.

Sam: This country is meant to be unfinished. We're meant to keep doing better. We're meant to be discussing and debating. And we're meant to read books by great historical scholars and talk about them.