CJ: Wow are you stupid!

Josh: A couple of things for you to bear in mind. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't pay her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Or for that matter, unethical, amoral, or suspect.
CJ: Okay. A couple things for you to bear in mind. None of that matters on Hard Copy!
Josh: You're overreacting.
CJ: Am I.
Josh: Yes.
CJ: As women are prone to do.
Josh: That's not what I meant.
CJ: That's always what you mean.
Josh: You know what, C.J., I think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkely shiksa feminista! (beat) Well that was way too far.
CJ: No, no. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitest Harvard fascist missed-the-Dean's-list-two-semesters-in-a-row yankee jackass!!
Josh: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
CJ: I'm a whole new woman.
Josh: You look like a million bucks, by the way.
CJ: Don't try to make up with me.

Toby: How the hell did I get into trouble?
Josh: Today? All you had to do was get out of bed.

Toby: There is no law... There is no decency...
Josh: He's just getting that now.

CJ: I don't care what it is; I care what it looks like.
Sam: And I care what it is! And I think it's high time you all spent a little less time looking good and--
CJ: --and a little more time being good?
Sam: Yeah.
CJ: Yeah, I've heard that one before. One other thing.
Sam: Are we done?
CJ: No, Sam, when I say "one other thing" that means we're not done, that there's one other thing.
Sam: I'm resenting the hell out of this conversation right now.
CJ: It was tough to tell from your tone of voice.
Sam: What do you want?
CJ: I beg your pardon.
Sam: What's the one other thing.
CJ: I'm your first phone call.
Sam: When?
CJ: Before. Now. In the future. Anytime you're into something and you don't know what, and you can't tell me that you thought there was nothing to it because you sat down with Josh and you sat down with Toby. Anytime you're into something and you don't know what you don't keep it from me. I'm your first phone call. I'm your first line of defense. You have to let me protect you, and you have to let me protect the President! Sam: Is that what this is about?
CJ: What this is about, Sam, is you're a high-profile, very visible, much-noticed member --
Sam: You just said three things that all mean the same thing.
CJ: You're not going to let this out of your teeth.
Sam: Can I go now, C.J.? Because what I think it's about is you, once again letting the character cops win in a forfeit because you don't have the guts or the strength or the courage to say "we know what's right from wrong and it's none of your damn business."
CJ: Really.
Sam: Yes!
CJ: Strength, guts or courage.
Sam: Yes.
CJ: You just said three things that all mean the same thing.

Josh: "Insuccessful"?
Donna: What's the problem?
Josh: I don't think we're allowed to make up our own words.
Donna: Oh, and like there's no chance it's a typo.

Sam: Have you ever tried to overthrow the government?
Charlie: No, sir.
Sam: What the hell's been stopping you?

CJ: Menudo's in the building! I gotta go!

Josh: I've got nothing to do. Like a writer on a movie set.

Bartlet: (to Leo) When I think of all the work you put in to get me to run, when I think of all the work you did to get me elected... I could pummel your ass with a baseball bat.

Leo: All ready to go?
Bartlet: You tell me.
Leo: That's a pretty ugly tie.
Bartlet: My granddaughter gave me this tie.
Leo: My nephew gave me an ashtray he made at summer camp.
Bartlet: Get away from me! Somebody throw this guy out of the building!

Leo: Let's do this right.
Josh: Not much chance of that.

Bartlet: What's the virtue of a proportional response?
Fitzwallace: It isn't virtuous, Mr. President. It's all there is. Anything else would be seen as A staggering overreaction by a first time commander-in-chief.

Leo: We are behaving the way a superpower ought to behave.
Bartlet: Well, our behavior has produced some crappy results....
Leo: And you think racheting up the body count's going to act as a deterrent?.... So my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. We're the only super power left. You can conquer the world like Charlemagne. But you better be prepared to kill everyone and you better start with me, cause I will raise up an army against you.... Of course, it's not good. There is no good. It's what there is. It's how you behave if you're the most powerful country in the world. It's what our fathers taught us.
Bartlet: When I think of all the work you put in to get me to run. When I think of all the work you did to get me elected. I could pummel your ass with a baseball bat.