(CJ asks Sam to tutor her on the census)
Sam: CJ, we've been working on this commerce bill for 3 weeks, I hear you talk about the census all the time.
CJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Sam: I don't understand, then how can you --
CJ: I've been faking it.
Sam: You've been faking it.
CJ: I've been playing it fast and loose, there's no doubt about it, but sitting in on some of the meetings we've been having and reading the briefing book last night I have to say that the census is starting to sound to me like it's, well, important. And I've come to the realization that if I'm going to be talking about it all week it's probably best that I understand what I'm saying.
Sam: When?
CJ: When what?
Sam: When did you come to this realization?
CJ: About an hour ago.
Sam: Okay. I'll tell you what, let's forget about the fact that you're coming a little late to the party and embrace the idea that you showed up at all.
CJ: That's what I say.
Sam: We'll start at lunch.
CJ: Thank you.
Sam: You've been faking it?
CJ: Yes.
Sam: With the President.
CJ: I know, I should probably not do that.
Sam: You think?

Josh: Leo, Knute Rockne. Sometimes I get 'em mixed up.

(discussing the Appropriations Bill)
Toby: $500,000 for New York State to restore the home of Susan B Anthony.
Josh: While we're at it the tile in my shower could use re-grouting.

Sam: You see how good it feels to understand what you're talking about?
CJ: And you see how I'm able to do it without being patronizing?
Sam: What happened to "you look good today"?
CJ: I got over it.

Josh: Sam, I'm taking Charlie for a beer tonight before the vote. Zoey and Mallory are coming.
Sam: Sounds good.
CJ: I like beer.
Josh: If you want to come I guess that'd be okay.
CJ: Why, Josh, you've swept me off my feet.

(discussing Sam's 'special friend')
Zoey: The hooker!
Sam: (beat) Ok. She's not a hooker, she's a call-girl. And how do you know about this?
Zoey: Mallory told me.
CJ: How does Mallory know about that?
Sam: I told her.
CJ: You told our Boss's daughter you slept with a call girl?
Sam: I didn't know she was Leo's daughter at the time, I thought she was a school teacher who came in with her class.
Josh: So you thought you were telling a complete stranger you slept with a call girl?

CJ: She didn't bring my grasshopper?
Josh: She didn't?
CJ: No.
Josh: Maybe she just felt really stupid ordering it.

Bartlet: What were you doing taking my daughter out to a bar?
Josh: You told me to, sir.
Bartlet: I told you to take Charlie. When Zoey said she was going I just assumed you were going to go mave malteds or something.
Josh: Malteds, sir?
Bartlet: Yes.
Josh: What is this, Our Town?

Josh: Sam, I'm going back to the office. They got the Commerce report ready for me. What are you doing?
Sam: I'm gonna go home.
Josh: Sam, I'm going back to the office. They got the Commerce report ready for me. What are you doing?
Sam: I'm going back to your office with you and make sure you understand the Commerce report.

Toby:Around here the merits of a particular argument generally take a back seat to political tactics.

Toby:I met an unusual man. . . . He didn't walk in with a political agenda. He didn't walk in with his mind made up. He genuinely wanted to do what he thought was best. He didn't mind saying the words 'I don't know.

CJ: Is Josh being punished?
Bartlet: Punished? No.
CJ: May I ask why not?
Bartlet: Because I said so.