Josh: Who da men?
Mrs Landingham: Excuse me?
Josh: Who da men?
Mrs. Landingham: You da men.

Bartlet: Which one of you is the man?
Toby: On this one, we'd like to think of ourselves collectively as da men, sir.

Leo: CJ, you should -- Where is CJ?
CJ: (comes up behind him) Right here. Sorry.
Leo: You should wear a bell around your neck, you know that?

Toby: Sam, you're going to write the president's introduction. You're also going to write Harrison's remarks.
Sam: Harrison's not goin to like that.
Toby: You show him the robe he gets he'll like it fine.

Toby: CJ, no leaks! If the name of this nominee is leaked out before I want it to be leaked out, I'm gonna blame you and you're gonna find that unpleasant!
CJ: I gotta tell you something Toby, you're hot when you're like this.

Donna: Peyton Cabott Harrison III. Jewish fellow?

Sam: Is it possible for Peter Lillianfield to be a bigger jackass? You think if he tried hard there's room for him to be a slightly bigger horse's ass than he's being right now?
CJ: At some point you hit your head on the ceiling, don't you?
Sam: I think there's unexplored potential.
Josh: So, five White House staffers in the room, I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now that it's time to share.
Mandy: This isn't funny, Josh.
Josh: Mandy if you can't laugh at this then you're just not having enough fun in show business.
Mandy: Josh.
Josh: He's a featherweight, Mandy. He's a hairdo.
Sam: I think if he put his shoulder into it he could be a slightly bigger gasbag.
Josh: Yeah.
Sam: You know, if you really reach for the stars.
Toby: (enters) Good morning. There's no way you saw this coming?
Leo: Toby.
Toby: Leo, I know I'm in your office, forgive me. But nobody saw this coming?!
CJ: Yeah, I can't believe my psychic didn't tell me, Toby! Rest assured I'm going to get my 20 bucks back!
Leo: Short term / long term.
Josh: Short term nothing.
CJ: I can't go with nothing.
Josh: Why not?
CJ: Pretend we didn't see it?
Josh: He's a liar. He's a fool. Categorically deny it and move on.
Mandy: She can't.
CJ: I can't.
Josh: Why not?
CJ: Because more than 1300 people work for the White House, Josh. I go into the press room and categorically deny that anyone uses drugs, and it turns out the three guys in the photo lab blew a joint over the weekend, which is not, like, out of the realm of possibility,and my next question is --
Mandy: But you categorically denied it, now you admit there are three?
CJ: Yes, well I categorically deny there are any more than three.
Mandy: But now it seems the assistant to the deputy director of White House beverages is confessing to a life as a closet junkie.
CJ: Yes, and I understand she's selling her story to Random House for a middle six-figure advance.
Toby: All right, are we done with Masterpiece Theatre?

Josh: You should be nice to me, I could be dead ya know.
Donna: I don't have that kinda luck.

CJ: (after the press briefing) Set fire to the room. Do it now.

Danny: How you doing?
CJ: What do you want?
Danny: That was a bit of a blunder back there.
CJ: It was fine.
Danny: You challenged Lillienfield to present evidence, he knows his cue when he hears it. Also, did you really want to be the first person to use the word "subpoena"?
CJ: In the context--
Danny: I don't care what the context was, it's the only word anybody's going to read tomorrow.
CJ: I really don't need your tips, Danny.
Danny: As a matter of fact you do, C.J., but that's not why I'm here.
CJ: Why are you here?
Danny: I'm here because there's a basketball team called the New York Knickerbockers who are playing in town tomorrow night.
CJ: I don't have time to go to a basketball game!
Danny: Neither do I. Which is why I thought we could watch it in your office, while I explain it to you in a patronizing manner, 'cause I know it's something women usually like.
CJ: Thank you anyway.
Danny: You understand I'll talk slow and explain it in a way a girl would appreciate?

Josh: You're Leo McGarry. You won't be taken down by this small fraction of a man. I won't permit it.

CJ: You were right.
Danny: I know.
CJ: The word subpoena appears in the lead in every story in this morning's papers.
Danny: I know.
CJ: Not yours.
Danny: That's just because I couldn't spell it.
CJ: What are you holding?
Danny: It's a goldfish.
CJ: Why?
Danny: It's for you.
CJ: Really?
Danny: Josh said you like goldfish.
(she looks at him strangely for a second, then cracks up laughing.)
CJ: The crackers, Danny. The cheese thing that you have at a party?
Danny: Oh. Oh. You know what, I'm not 100% sure I was supposed to know that.
CJ: The crackers, Danny.
Danny: Fine. Now I've got a goldfish.
CJ: Give it to me.
Danny: No no.
CJ: No, you'll kill it.
Danny: You think I can't take care of a goldfish?
CJ: I absolutely do not.
Danny: Her name's Gail by the way.
CJ: The fish?
Danny: Yeah.
CJ: You named it Gail?
Danny: No the guy in the store.
CJ: Come here. (she kisses him on the cheek!) Thanks for the fish.

Josh: Hell, I mean, just the law of large numbers says we gotta win one one of these days,right? Let's make it a good one.

Donna: Exercise cautious optimism.

Toby: This isn't the time, Josh. We're taking water over the side.
Josh: There's a principle here.
Toby: No. There's not. Not this week. . . .We've been here for a year, and all we've gotten is a year older. Our approval rating is 48% and I think that figure's soft. And I'm tired of being field captain for the gang that couldn't shoot straight. We're getting this done.

Danny: Information I get I have to print.
Josh: Do you have any information?
Danny: No.
Josh: Would you tell me if you did?
Danny: What kind of information?
Danny: You know what kind of information. . . . You know no one knows where I got it.
Josh: It's not my job to help you out. In fact I'd get fired from my job for helping you out. Danny: I know that.

Bartlet: When was the last time either of you slept? I don't care. Get ready for this.

Sam: 20s & 30s it was the role of government. 50s & 60s it was civil rights. The next 20 years it will be about privacy. The Internet. Cell phones. Health records And who's gay and who's not. Besides, in a country born on the will to be free, what could be more fundamental than this?

Bartlet: (to Judge Mendoza) You were not the first choice. But you are the last one and the right one.What do you say, Leo? You up for a good fight?
Leo: I believe I have one in me, yes, sir.