Josh: Hey, who gave you those flowers on your desk?
Donna: A mean man who can't read a calendar.

Donna: I'm gonna give you a little gift right now which you don't deserve...
Josh: Donna, if you've got your old Catholic school uniform on under there, don't get me wrong, I applaud the thought, but...

Toby: The Vice President's authority was murky at best. The National Security Advisor and the Secretary of State didn't know who they were taking their orders from. I wasn't in the situation room that night but I'll bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in your pockets that it was Leo, who no one elected! For 90 minutes that night there was a coup d'etat in this country.

Ainsley: I'm a Republican. . . I believe that every time the Federal Government hands down a new law, it leaves for the rest of us a little less freedom. So I say let's stick to the ones we absolutely need in order to have water come out of the faucet and our cars not stolen. That is my problem with passing a redundant law.

Toby: You don't have to break the law to be served with Articles of Impeachment.

Sam: So, guys. . . I made a decision: I'm going to register with the Republican Party. And I'll tell you why, if you're curious. It's because they are a freedom loving people.
Ainsley: We also like beef. Sam: You know, you insist that government is depraved for not legislating against what we can see on the newsstands or what we can see in an art exhibit or what we can burn in protest or which sex we're allowed to have sex with or a woman's right to choose. But don't you dare try to regulate this deadly weapon I have concealed on me for that would encroach against my freedom.
Ainsley: And Democrats believe in freedom of speech unless you want to pray while you're standing in school. And you believe in the freedom of information act except if you want to find out if your 14 year old has had an abortion.
Sam: We believe in the ERA. . . . How can you have an objection. . .
Ainsley: Because it's humiliating. A new amendment we vote on declaring that I am equal under the law to a man? I'm mortified to discover there's reason to believe I wasn't before. I'm a citizen of this country. I'm not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old white men. The same Article 14 that protects you protects me. And I went to law school just to make sure.
Sam: I could've countered that but I had already moved on to other things in my head.

Josh: I'm just saying that if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer.
Donna: If you were in an accident I wouldn't stop for red lights.

Donna: Do you have any idea how much grief I took from him when I came back?
Sam: How much?
Donna: None. I walked in the door, he said 'Thank god. There's a pile of stuff on the desk'. This is his way. He's just going to snark me every April. Prince of passive aggressive behaviour.
Sam: What does 'snark' mean?
Donna: I don't know, but he's doing it.

Sam: See, I think that was a bit of misdirected anger there.
Donna: I'm okay with that.
Sam: "Well, in that case, Ainsley, you know why I got ya flowers in April instead of February? 'Cause you ditched me the first time around to go back to the guy who ditched you the first time around only to have him ditch you the second time around.
Donna: (Whacks Josh in the back of the head.)
Josh: Ah, what the hell?!? That was him!
Donna: He was being you.

Josh: I'm trying to find that speech that Sam said.
Donna: You know we keep them on the computer.
Josh: Well, yeah sure, I suppose but...
Donna: But you don't know how to use the computer.
Josh: Right.