Leo: What do you want from me?
Josh: Thirty million dollars.
Leo: No.

Toby: You trust this person Josh: I gotta trust somebody right now.
Toby: Good cause I don't trust anybody right now.

CJ: I really don't choose my words that carefully.

Abbey: How are you?
Donna: I'm fine, but there's a giant object hurling it's way towards us at a devasting velocity.
Abbey: Tell me about it.

Toby: We're Batman and Robin.
Sam: Which one's which?
Toby: Look at me Sam am I Robin.
Sam: I'm not Robin.
Toby: Yes you are.
Sam: Okay well lets move off this.
Toby: You bet little friend.
Sam: Listen, we're really not Batman and Robin.
Toby: No we'll keep those identities secret. I'm Bruce Wayne and you're my ward.
Sam: Toby....
Toby: Dick something..

Donna: A thing the size of a garbage truck is gonna be in a two-thousand-mile-an-hour free fall and no one knows where it’s gonna hit!
Charlie: I’m rooting for Zurich.
Donna: Charlie!
Charlie: I’ve had it up to here with the Swiss.

Bartlet: My wife and I are fighting battles on several fronts including with each other.

Josh: (to Joey) You got to come up with a model that gets us the answers we need without asking the questions we can't ask. You got to come up with a model by yourself. You got to break down the results by yourself. . . . and you got to do it all in 96 hours. Is what I'm describing possible?

Josh: So now the President's got Leo worried that it's going to look like we announced it 'cause we took a poll. . . .
CJ: The President and Leo are worried about that?
Josh: Yeah. (CJ laughs) What?
CJ: You guys are like Butch and Sundance peering over the edge of a cliff to the boulder filled rapids 300 feet below thinking you better not jump 'cause there's a chance you might drown. The President has this disease and has been lying about it and you're concerned that the polling might make us look bad? It's the fall that's going to kill you.

CJ: It could be anything with these Presidents. James Polk had diverticulitis. Couldn’t digest nuts. I’ll tell you what else. One in forty American men wear women’s clothing, and we’ve had well over forty Presidents. I’m just sayin’, one of these guys was dancing around the Oval Office in a prom dress. Now let’s get to the bottom of THAT.
Babbish: Yeah?
CJ: I'm just saying, one of these guys was dancing around in the Oval Office in a prom dress, now let's get to the bottom of that.
Babbish: CJ?
CJ: Yeah?
Babbish: In my entire life I've never found anything charming.

Larry: Ed just got a fax from a man named Byron Talmadge. He’s the Associate Administrator for NASA’s Office of Space... Cadets.
Ed: Flight.
Larry: Office of Space Flight.

Josh: I told her we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes towards subsurface agricultural products.
Leo: Subsurface agricultural-- What the hell?
Josh: Underground. We think Americans are eating more beets.

Donna: This giant thing is falling to Earth. They’re watching it on radar. Isn’t there something we do?
Josh: Like what?
Donna: Like sound the alarm?
Josh: Sound the alarm?
Donna: There is no alarm.
Josh: There’s really not.

Jane: The CBO’s gonna issue a new estimate of the surplus.
Sam: They’re projecting it down?
Jane: Yeah.
Sam: We don’t have as much money as we thought?
Jabe: No.
Sam: That’s great news.
Richard: Yeah.
Sam: It’s not great news that we have less money, I’m saying...
Richard: Yeah.
Sam: 'Cause the floor fight’s gonna be easier.
Jane: Yeah.
Sam: How much less money?
Richard: Well, when they project eight years out, it’s 200 billion less. Nine years out, it’s 400 billion less.
Sam: That is great.
Jane: Yeah.
Sam: It’s not great that we have less--
Jane: Sam, we get why it’s great.

Toby: I'm so happy I could spit.

Sam: We want to do great things, but our opponents want bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.
Toby: Their private jets are too slow?

Leo: What do you want from me?
Joah: Thirty million dollars.
Leo: No.

Sam: Yeah, okay, there’s something wrong with all of us, but that’s for a different time.

Helen: The line works.
Sam: So does "How 'bout them Cowboys?" when you’re playing a club in Dallas.

Lso: She's basically giving MS to the Governor of Michigan.
Bartlet: How's he gonna feel about that? ,p> Sam: I think I may have offended--
Toby: Oh god.
Sam: Yeah.
Toby: Who?
Sam: Well, I met with some of the staffers for Americans for Tax Justice and the Progressive Caucus.
Toby: And you think you may have offended them?
Sam: Yeah. And girls, possibly.

Josh: What?
CJ: You guys are like Butch and Sundance peering over the edge of a cliff at the boulder-filled rapids three hundred feet below thinking that you better not jump 'cause there's a chance you might drown. The President has this disease and has been lying about it and you guys are worried that the poll might make us look bad. It's the fall that's gonna kill ya.
Josh: Us.
CJ: What?
Josh: You said 'it's the fall that's gonna kill you'. You meant us.