CJ: Have you noticed that I'm one of the few people around here whose nose isn't bent out of shape over Ainsley Hayes?
Toby: Yeah, listen...
CJ: I'm serious.
Toby: You heard the news and you slammed the door so hard it broke, okay? You heard the news and you broke the White House!
CJ: Yeah, but I'm over it now.

Leo: That said, say the word, we'll take a leave of absence and join your legal team.

Bartlet: Sorry, everybody. This is going to be it. Four is my lucky number.
Donna: This is take five, sir.
Bartlet: Five is my lucky number. 'Fifth Take Bartlet', that's what Jack Warner used to call me.
Donna: Did you really know Jack Warner, Mr President?
Bartlet: Yeah, because I used to be a contract player in Hollywood and I'm 97 years old.

CJ: Hey, has Leo told Tribbey about his new Associate Council yet?
Toby: I'll check the wire to see if any maimings have been reported.

Ainsley: I just wanna die.
Leo: That's the White House. You get used to that feeling.

Tribbey: I WILL KILL PEOPLE TODAY, LEO! I WILL KILL PEOPLE WITH THIS CRICKET BAT!

Bartlet: Lionel Tribbey is a brilliant lawyer whom we cannot live without. Or there'd be very little reason not to put him in prison.

Donna: Take 17 looked like it was going to be a keeper, till he went on elocution safari during the word "protuberance".

Bartlet: Who cares, it's been 14 weeks! Do these curtains close?
Abbey: Not here, Jed!
Bartlet: Yes, yes. You're right. WHERE?
Abbey: How about our bedroom?
Bartlet: New Hampshire is an hour and a half away by plane; I don't think I have that kind of time.
Abbey: How about our bedroom in the residence?
Bartlet: YES! We have a bedroom right here in the building. That was so smart!

Abbey: I have to fly to Cochrane's Mills, Pennsylvania.
Bartlet: Where the hell is Cochrane's Mills?
Abbey: Pennsylvania?

Leo: I'll be honest with you, I didn't even know we had offices down here.
Ainsley: That bodes well for me...
Leo: I wonder what else we have down here?
Ainsley: Bats, possibly?

Ainsley: I'd like to do well on this, my first assignment. Any advice you could give me that might point me the way of success would be, by me, appreciated.
Tribbey: Well, not speaking in iambic pentameter might be a step in the right direction.

Bartlet: (to Charlie) Would you like to get that smile off your face before I send you on special assignment to the Yukon?

Abbey: I'm going to the bathroom, where I'll change into a special little garment I think you might enjoy.
Bartlet: Abbey, you have two minutes, or I swear to God I'm gonna get Mrs Landingham drunk.

Sam: It was from Pinafore.
Tribbey: It's from Pinzance!
Sam: I hate to stick my head in the lion's mouth, but I gotta ask - were YOU Recording Secretary for the Princeton Gilbert & Sullivan Society for two years?
Tribbey: No, but then again I'm not a woman.

Tribbey: Who is this?
Leo: This is Ainsley Hayes. She's scared of meeting ya so be nice.

Josh: DONNA!
Donna: Don't shout.
Josh: DONNA, COME HERE!
Donns: Did you hear me say don't shout?
Josh: No.
Donna: Do you know why?
Josh: 'cause you weren't shouting? Josh: That's right.