CJ: I'm not being punished. I'm going on the trip.
Danny: If the whole bus goes off the record, will you tell us why you're going on the trip?
CJ: I made fun of Notre Dame. (Silence of disbelief) I usually get away with it.
Danny: They're playing Michigan tomorrow.
CJ: I know that now.
Danny: You can't bring that when they're playing Michigan.

Bartlet: I thought you said, 'Michigan sucks.'
Leo: No sir. We're standing close to the engines so it may have sounded like I said, 'Notre Dame is going to get the ass-kicking they so richly deserve.

CJ: What's this?
Charlie: The lyrics to the Notre Dame fight song.
Bartlet: It would please me if you would lead the press in a rendition as we pass over South Bend.
CJ: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: All five verses please.
CJ: Go Irish.
Bartlet: You bet your ass.

Leo: Margaret was giving me a look. My divorce papers came today. She thinks I'm going to drink.
Josh: Sounds like a good reason to.
Leo: I'm an alcoholic. I don't need a good reason to.

Leo: Margaret worries if the sun is going to rise.

Sam: I'm not writing well.

Toby: It's a nifty phrase but I think if we call for a permanent revolution, people are, you know, going to expect one.

Congressman (Who is Gay): I agree with 95% of the Republican platform. . . . My life doesn't have to be about being a homosexual. It doesn't have to be entirely about that.

Bartlet: A hundred new teachers? . . . Instead of a 100,000? Well, it's a start, I guess.

Matt Skinner: You let Donna out?
Josh: Temporarily. She's having dinner.
Skinner: Oh? With who?
Josh: A guy she has no future with.
Skinner: Why no future?
Josh: 'Cause I say so.

Bartlet: I think it's great you decided to make the trip.
CJ: I believe I was ordered to, Mr. President.
Bartlet: Yes, I remember now. You made one of your funny, funny jokes.
CJ: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: Put it on.
CJ: Mr. President...
Bartlet: Put it on.
CJ: Sir, I'm wearing Max Mara. It's going to break up the...
Bartlet: Put it on.
CJ: Please let nobody see me like this.
Bartlet: Hey! Photo-op!
CJ: Oh, good god.