STAFF 2: It’s an Italian aria by Wagner...
MANDY: It’s Puccini. Wagner’s German, and you’re a moron.
MANDY: I could kill you with my shoe!
JOSH: Victory is mine! Victory is mine! Great day in the morning people. Victory is mine!
DONNA: Good morning, Josh.
JOSH: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
DONNA: It’s gonna be an unbearable day.
C.J:. U.S.A. Today asks you why you don’t spend more time campaigning in Texas and you say it’s ‘cause you don’t look good in funny hats.
SAM: It was “big hats.”
C.J.: What difference does it make?
POTUS: It makes a difference.
C.J.: The point is we got whomped in Texas.
JOSH: We got whomped in Texas twice.
C.J.: We got whomped in the primary, and we got whomped in November.
POTUS: I think I was there.
C.J.: And it was avoidable, sir.
POTUS: C.J., on your tombstone, it’s gonna read, “Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.”
C.J.: Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.
POTUS: Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know “post hoc, ergo propter hoc?” Josh?
JOSH: Uh, uh, post, after, after hoc, ergo, therefore, after hoc, therefore, something else hoc.
POTUS: Thank you. Next?
JOSH: Uh, if I’d gotten more credit on the 443...
POTUS: Leo?
LEO: After it, therefore because of it.
POTUS: After it, therefore because of it. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other, but it’s not always true. In fact, it’s hardly ever true. We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas?
C.J.: When you learned to speak Latin?
POTUS: Go figure.