| 1.10 IN EXCELSIS DEO |
| GINGER: Toby, phone call. TOBY: I’m arguing now, I’ll call back. SAM: You gotta ask yourself which is more exciting – watching your car roll over from 99,999 to 100,000 or from 100 to 101. CJ: So technically the millennium’s still a year awy. SAM: Yeah, but we’ve made all these plans… JOSH: As you can see, I’ve not yet bought your Christmas present. DONNA: Yes, and I can see you’re agonizing how to best express your appreciation and affection for me at this time of the year. JOSH: That and how to scrape together the twenty bucks to – DONNA: I’ve prepared a list. JOSH: Of Christmas gift suggestions? (reading) Ski pants, ski boots, ski goggles, ski gloves, ski poles…I’m assuming you already have skis? DONNA: Page two. JOSH: Right. DONNA: Just pick something off the list and, y’know, feel free to pick two things. JOSH: I should feel that freedom? JOSH: This is quite an operation. MARGARET: We like to spread holiday cheer. LEO: Who the hell is this guy and why do I care if he has a merry Christmas? MARGARET: Just sign the damn thing. CJ: The president is scheduled to leave for New Hampshire at 9:30 on the dot, no hold-ups, no delays, which means he should be leaving at about noon. MANDY: This might seem trivial under the circumstances. TOBY: What? MANDY: The Santa hats **do** clash with the Dickensian costumes. TOBY: It **might** seem trivial? JOSH: Could ya stop looking at me with the…face? DONNA: It’s my face. JOSH: Like I just killed your hamster? POTUS: All right, let’s go. I’m a busy man. I am, after all, the President of Bulgaria. KIDS: Nooooo!!! POTUS: No, no, wait a minute, that’s night right, I’m not the President of Bulgaria. I’m the President of the great kingdom of Luxembourg. KIDS: NOOOOO!!! POTUS: Now, hang on, I KNOW I’m the President of SOMETHING… JOSH: Lillienfield’s going hunting. POTUS: Josh, what are you doing right now? JOSH: I’m helping prepare a strategy for the European Economic Summit in February. POTUS: Blow it off. JOSH: Okay. JOSH: Where ya goin’? POTUS: A place called Rare Books. Y’know what they sell? JOSH: Fishing tackle? POTUS: Funny boy. JOSH: An hour with you in a rare books store? Can’t you just throw me off the top of the Washington Monument? POTUS: It’s Christmas, Josh, no reason we can’t do both! JOSH: I s’pose. LEO: Well, nothing says Christmas like animal fables in Iambic Verse. TOBY: He got a medal, called the Purple Heart. For getting wounded in battle. GEORGE: He must not’a been that good at it. CJ: What did you come in here for? DANNY: To give you your Christmas present. CJ: You already gave me a goldfish, Danny, what more could a girl…(unwraps the present) Goldfish FOOD. LAURIE: You’re the good guys. You should act like it. CJ: Should I leave? LEO: As quickly as possible. LEO: I had you tailed. JOSH: You had us tailed?! LEO: Yes. JOSH: Why? LEO: On the off chance that you’re as stupid as you look. Whose idea was this? JOSH: It was mine. Sam was a reluctant accomplice. You had us TAILED? LEO: Get over it. JOSH: Hey, Danny. DANNY: Hey, Josh. JOSH: How’s it goin’? DANNY: Hard to say. JOSH: Okay. POTUS: Apparently, I’ve arranged for an honour guard for somebody. TOBY: I’m sorry, sir. POTUS: No, no, just so I know, there’s not anything else I’ve arranged for, we’re still in NATO, right? MANDY: Sir, your absence in the other room is conspicuous. |