CJ: Damn.
JOSH: What?
CJ: You know what I forgot to do this morning?
JOSH: What?
CJ: I forgot to feel the President's glands.
POTUS: I came to this hallowed chamber one year ago on a mission: To restore the American dream for all our people as we gaze at the vast horizon of possibilites open to us in the 321st century...Wow, that WAS ambitious of me, wasn't it?
POTUS: We meant "stronger" here, right?
SAM: What's it say?
POTUS: I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago?
SAM: It's a typo.
POTUS: Could go either way.
JOSH: "The era of big government is over."
TOBY: When did that happen?
JOSH: This morning, we had a meeting.
CJ: I was kidding.
MANDY: You sounded serious.
CJ: I'm very dry.
POTUS: I could jump you right now.
ABBY: I could kill you right now
POTUS: My thing's more fun.
JOSH: Exactly where do you fall in the line of succession?
DONNA: If somebody blows up the Capitol Building, I imagine I'd move up a few slots.
CJ: Did they raise any objection to a man with your problem in such a sensitive position?
LEO: Yeah, they were afraid I'd sell state secrets to Bolivia for a quick -
LEO: I go down, I go down. I'm not taking anyone with me.
LEO: What, you're giving me Abbott and Costello?
MALLORY: I do NOT have an itch!
LEO: Mallory?!
POTUS: You haven't called me Jed since I was elected.
SAM: Though I gotta say, I'm enjoying being a writer.
POTUS: I"m saying if you want to take it recreationally...
ABBY: Oh, there's something wrong with you, you know that?
POTUS: Yes I do.
ABBY: Why is "hallowed" spelled with a pound sign in the middle?
POTUS: I stopped asking those questions.
DANNY: Taking the fish with you?
POTUS: You have a best friend?
TRIBBEY: Yes.
POTUS: Is he smarter than you?
TRIBBEY: Yes.
POTUS: Would you trust him with your life?
TRIBBEY: Yes.
POTUS: Then that's your chief of staff.